Editor's note: The Lovefraud reader who posts as “Shocknawe” posted information in a comment about the physical condition of adrenal fatigue. I invited him to write a full blog post on the topic. Please remember that Lovefraud is not a medical resource, and if you are suffering from symptoms like those discussed below you should consult a doctor. How to recover from adrenal fatigue By Shocknawe As victims of psycho/sociopaths, we know all too well the damage inflicted upon us. But I discovered that the toll taken has an additional component one that, left untreated, can set our progress towards recovery back by months and even years. The good news, however, is that we can take some s …
RESOURCE PERSPECTIVES: After Casey Anthony, another view of Florida courts
Editor's note: Resource Perspectives features articles written by members of Lovefraud's Professional Resources Guide. Rebecca Potter works as a licensed mental health counselor in West Palm Beach, Florida. She can be reached at: tlc211@gmail.com. Advice, learned the hard way, for coping with Florida Family Courts By Rebecca Potter Rebecca Potter profile in the Lovefraud Professional Resources Guide Marriage to a psychopath is similar to being in a war without any weapons. I tried to plan my escape from this man, and he was more experienced at turning my life into a complete physical and economical struggle. He has done this before, and he used to say to me, “Women are never t …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: No Such Thing as a Free Lunch
Editor's note: The following article was written by the Lovefraud reader who posts as “Peggywhoever.” The Perils of Gifts By Peggy Whoever We are taught to believe that people who give us gifts do so out of the goodness of their hearts. That they are kind, caring people. Gift-giving (including meals) makes us think that people love us, or like us at least. NOT. There are people that use gift-giving as a tactic for control, or for a mental tally they keep on what we “owe” them in the future. “I did this for you; therefore you should do this for me.” I propose that anyone who gives a gift should do so freely, willingly, and without expectations of a "payback." I have experienc …
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TARGETED TEENS AND 20s: I can’t help but wish he was the sweet, “genuine” person I fell for
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following e-mail from a young woman whom we'll call “Krista.” She needs support. If you have any words of encouragement, please offer them. I am so lost and upset. I am 22, I was with a guy for about a year ”¦ he swept me off my feet with his charm and seemingly genuine character. I am a good girl, never got into anything bad, partied in college but never got in trouble. I met my ex out of pure boredom, knew him from high school (he had a terrible "bad boy" reputation). He literally said all the right things, charmed me and I fell hard. He got me with his sad story too (his mom passed away when he was 10 from a heroin overdose, and has 5 siblings an …
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RESOURCE PERSPECTIVES: Everything about the sociopath invites us in
Editor's note: Resource Perspectives features articles written by members of Lovefraud's Professional Resources Guide. Gary Cundiff is a marriage and family therapist based in San Diego, California Through deception and mirroring, the sociopath exerts control By Gary Cundiff, MFT Gary Cundiff profile in the Lovefraud Professional Resources Guide Having fallen victim to the very thing I had dedicated my life to protecting others from is my reason for writing. To warn others and feasibly aid some. The inevitable harm from interacting with a sociopath is definitive. For some, years have been spent recovering. I am a mental health professional with years of …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I got out before any damage could be done
Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we'll call “Lorna.” I thought I'd write and tell you a success story, thanks to all the information you provide to help people to survive a sociopath. I've met them at various times in my life, however, I was lucky that I never married or got pregnant or lived with one. A couple of years ago, one crossed my path, and in a short time caused a lot of disruption before I dumped him. I pretty much forgot all about the narcissistic sociopath since then. I wanted to watch the Will and Kate wedding live, but didn't have TV, and on the West Coast it would be shown at 3 a.m. I posted on the activities partners section of Craigslist hop …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Part 2–“You have to start acting better”
Editor's note: This is the completion of Lovefraud's e-mail from “robxsykobabe.” The beginning was posted yesterday: Part 1—Giving him the benefit of the doubt. He contacted me April 13th, 2010. Three days before his son's 11th birthday. I didn't respond as he “dangled the carrot” with texting me simply, “I wish”¦” Yeah, it was a game. I didn't contact him because I felt sick to my stomach and severe panic after receiving it. I waited”¦and he didn't contact me again. And I responded”¦and so the story goes. We met and I was LESS than pleased. This was NOT the reunion where we embraced each other and kissed long, sultry kisses. It was the kind of meeting you'd see in a movie and expect a …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Part 1–Giving him the benefit of the doubt
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following e-mail from the reader who posts as “robxsykobabe.” Read it—and watch as the sociopathic manipulation blossoms. Here is my story”¦as I've only shared bits and pieces. My ex and I met on a dating website. We met at a mutually convenient place, and upon seeing him for the first time in person, I was in awe! He was the perfect looking guy, casual, with a tall stature, a beautiful face and such charm. We went into a restaurant but didn't eat. We sat at the bar, and I ordered a drink. He did not, saying he doesn't drink anymore. That was fine with me. We engaged in conversation, and at one point, I asked him if he had ever been in prison. Why t …
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RESOURCE PERSPECTIVES: Psychopaths, victims and therapy
Editor's note: Resource Perspectives features articles written by members of Lovefraud's Professional Resources Guide. Sarah Strudwick, based in the UK, is author of Dark Souls—Healing and recovering from toxic relationships. Re-traumatising and PTSD (Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) By Sarah Strudwick Sarah Strudwick profile in the Lovefraud Professional Resources Guide Everyone always writes about the positive aspects of coming out of a relationship with a psychopathic personality. You read things about how as a result of being in such a toxic relationship, it empowers you and teaches you how to recognise and spot predators. If you have never learnt how to h …
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Culture or Psychopathy?
Editor's note: The author is well-known to all Lovefraud readers as "Ox Drover." By Joyce Alexander, RNP (Retired) I read an article today that made me start to think about psychopathic behavior in groups of people. About groups of people without empathy, without altruistic thinking. Looters hamper rescue efforts in tornado-ravaged Alabama Most of us here in the U.S. have read many stories about the horrible damage done in Japan by both the earthquake and the resulting tsunami which washed over the land, killing tens of thousands, and devastating a large thickly-populated area. We've read where people's life savings, stocks and bonds, and cash were found many miles from their …