UPDATED FOR 2023. Editor's note: The following story was submitted by a Lovefraud reader who learned the hard way that she should pay attention to the Gift of Fear. There was something odd about his intense gaze. Even though I felt funny about the way he stared at me the first time we met, I ignored my discomfort. I met my former boyfriend after I had been attending services at a Unitarian Universalist Church for several weeks. We engaged in small talk for a few minutes then swapped numbers. Even though I felt somewhat uncomfortable, I ignored my gut feeling and gave him my number anyway. I was very needy and desperate for friendship. We went out to lunch after the services. Even …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: My ex-wife, the sociopath
Editor's note: The following letter was sent by a Lovefraud reader about his ex-wife, a sociopath. I believe my soon to be ex-wife is a sociopath (Sp). I was the recent victim of an evil plot to move my family to Washington from Texas, but two and a half months before the big move, with my house sold, I caught her, the Sp, in Washington with another guy looking for property, through a series of intercepted emails. This was one of two trips the Sp had taken, lying about the trip, saying she was going on a job interview. After I confronted her about the infidelity, I filed for divorce and took it upon myself to avoid any further confrontation with the Sp. I vacated the house and set up a …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: My journal entry about susceptibility to the sociopath
UPDATED FOR 2023. Editor's note: A Lovefraud reader sent the following entry from her journal. "About 2 1/2 months since the sociopath revealed himself for what he was, I'm now assessing how I made myself so vulnerable in the first place," she wrote. "Shockingly I realize I likely still am... still am as vulnerable... until I do my next needed self-work: truly healing my relationship with myself. Deeply." The following piece represents a step in her healing. I was thinking about whether I'd ever be able to reclaim my memories, once sweet, once preciously loving, of the past two years — ever since the sociopath revealed himself for the liar and deceiver that he is via his cruel d …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: My journal entry about susceptibility to the sociopathRead More
Smear campaign set me up as the abusive parent
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader who describes how her husband's smear campaign set her up at the abusive parent. He accused me of cheating on him which he kept these accusations going for the last two years of our marriage never believing me. He went to my family and friends crying and carrying on that I was cheating also that I was taking household money to buy drugs off the streets (didn’t happen I didn’t do this). He stalked me at my work — used a GPS tracking device and recording device on my van. He had altercations with management and the members of the country club I worked at. He never let me sleep, always creating a fight at night so I was sleep …
A classic Lovefraud story: I married a sociopath
Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call, “Charlotte23.” She was married to a man for 19 years. She was devastated to learn that she married a sociopath. Of course, I had no idea at the time. I married Tom in 2003. I had been married previously, for 15 years, and got divorced after finding out that my then-husband was cheating on me with someone he met at work. Where did he work? The World Trade Center. He was killed on 9/11/2001. Tom came along right about that same time. I had just bought a lovely home in a beautiful neighborhood for myself and my two children. We dated for a year before getting engaged; it was another year after that before we g …
A doctor twice ends up in the psych ward because of her sociopathic ex
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call Allison23. She reveals how her ex-husband got her thrown into the psych ward — twice. The sociopath in my life “saved” me from my abusive mother and got me out of the trailer park. I eventually earned 4 degrees, one of which was an MD. Looking back, the relationship was always controlling, but he made me believe that he was doing what he did because he needed to “mold” me into the perfect woman because my parents “didn’t do a good job”. As soon as I started making more money than him, his violence escalated and I finally got the courage to leave him in the middle of the night. Little did I know this would be …
A doctor twice ends up in the psych ward because of her sociopathic exRead More
The cheating golf pro
Editor’s note: A Lovefraud reader relates her devastating experience with a cheating golf pro. I was unhappily married. Took golf lessons from a golf instructor, was completely enamored by him. He was married, his wife lived in another state and he only went to see her for 3-4 days once a month otherwise was with me. He was an alcoholic, 58, I’m 47, spent from June 2020 when I met him to Oct 2020 here with me and then he left for the winter to live in Fla with her. We talked almost every day. He completely changes Then a month before he came back started acting weird, super mean, things didn’t add up, mind games… When he gets back here April 2021 played mind games all summer, started go …
I am a parent of two sociopathic children
Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call Theresa23, who relates her experience as the parent of two sociopathic children. My experience is probably a bit different than most, but then again maybe not, maybe it's just not talked about. I am a parent of two sociopathic children. One is a boy age 21, and the other is a girl age 28. The girl is more of a histrionic antisocial personality disordered person where my son is more of a narcissistic sociopathic or possibly even psychopathic person. “Blame the mama” This is important to me because so often in the media, and in therapeutic journals and everywhere else- people want to "blame the mama"! I a …
My pet sitter pleaded for help then stole from me
Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call, “Laura23.” She hired a pet sitter, who turned into a parasite and then a thief. My mother was dying, I had to rush to be by her side. I have two dogs and I never travel because of them. I took a friend's referral to hire a pet sitter. This pet sitter ended up asking to sleep on my couch after my initial evening interview with her, claiming her landlord was creepy when she comes home after dark. With all of the "me too" movement, my initial gut reaction was, "hell no" he isn't going to harass you for coming home after dark. My mother was dying and I had to go out of town again, and used this dog sitter again …
I married a psychopath while he was in jail
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call Marianne22. She married a psychopath while he was in jail. Met my psychopath (clinically diagnosed) while working at a correctional institution (shame & stupidity felt even now after 28 years). At this time I didn't know about his diagnosis. His indulgent family After his release it became apparently clear that he came from a family (10) that was privileged and personal needs & wants were met at any expense. Slowly at first I started recognizing behaviors that I began to question but always found excuses to downplay his disappearing games, flirtatious contacts and his never ending personal n …