M.L. Gallagher

I've developed an allergy that is visible on my face as a red, angry-looking rash that is very itchy and sore. The doctor isn't sure what is causing it -- neither am I. It could be the air or sun, or something environmental in the house. It is a process of recording when it flares up and if I can't eliminate the source, of undergoing allergy testing. In the meantime, the cream is starting to calm the redness and puffiness of my skin which is a relief. It's been irritating to say the least.This morning, as I applied a 'thin layer' to my face, I was wishing it would hurry up and work. Couldn't it do its job faster? Sort of like after the sociopath was removed from my life. Couldn't I hurry …

Allergic to the sociopath I take action to stay free of the allergenRead More

Once upon a time I fell in love with a dream. Well, actually, I thought I fell in love with a man, but he turned out to be a sociopath, and my life became a nightmare. But that's a whole other story about a whole other lifetime ago! (You can read about it in The Dandelion Spirit. A true life fairy tale of love, lies and letting go.) Today, my life is far different and even better than before I met the sociopath, and it's not because a man made my dreams come true! (Which is sort of what I was hoping and looking for when I met the sociopath.) My life is amazing because I am living my life to the fullest, working on making my own dreams come true and stepping with grace and dignity through …

It’s up to me!Read More

In the aftermath of an encounter with a sociopath, it is easy to get stuck in the "why." Why did he/she do it? Why didn't he love me? Why did she treat me so badly? Why me? Why him? Why her? Why? Why? Why? In healing, it's imperative to let go of why to focus on "what." What can I do for myself today that will ease my aching heart? What can I do to heal? What do I need to do to reclaim my soul, my spirit, my essence? What steps can I take to lead me away from the horror and pain of yesterday to embracing myself in love today? What is important to me today? What will create more of what I want in my life rather than less? What next? I will never know why he did what he did. I will never …

Victor or victim after the sociopath is goneRead More

It's been almost four years since the sociopath was forcefully extricated from my life by the police. Four years to heal, learn, grow and to rebuild. I've been feeling pretty strong, centered, together. And yet, no matter how much I heal or grow, I still shy away from an aspect of being human that drives the creative spirit to express itself through books and poetry, songs and movies, paintings and sculptures and all kinds of other art forms; ”˜a loving relationship'. In fact, I have pretty well convinced myself that I was content to spend the rest of my life ”˜a single'. I mean, really, my life is full. Two daughters living at home while going to college, my career, my writing, a busy socia …

Learning to be in relationship after an encounter with a SociopathRead More

There is no straight line to healing after an encounter with a psychopath. No clearly defined path that says, step here, go there. For most of us, there are no tools in our lifeboats that will aid us in the process of letting go so that we can move on to live and laugh and love again. Healing from such an encounter takes energy. It requires a personal commitment to doing what it takes to clear your mind, body and spirit of his or her lies. Healing takes time. When I first got my life back after the psychopath was arrested I looked at the devastation around me and cried. How could a once vibrant, successful, loving woman have fallen so far from her path? How could she have lost her grace …

The six steps of healing from a psychopathRead More

When someone dies, we grieve. The process is well-documented, the steps clearly defined though seldom straight-forward. We each journey through the process at our own speed, in our own time. But, regardless of our pace, we must go through each step to come to that place where we can be at peace with only the memories of the one we loved to warm our hearts, as we learn to accept that they have gone forever as we move on. We start with disbelief. It cannot be true. They cannot be gone. We are in denial. And then we move into anger. How could they have left us! Why me? Why them? Why now? Why? Why? Why? Anger gives way to bargaining, trying to find some way to reach peace with the inevitable …

I grieve for myself and let the psychopath goRead More

Recently I was hired to write a script for a video on Mammography. While working on the voice-overs, the actress hired to do the narration kept stumbling on one line. I knew it sounded awkward but was having trouble changing it. The Director and I looked at the sentence -- The fact that the screening mammogram might have saved her life, is not a myth. It's a fact. “It's the word, fact. It appears twice in the sentence and makes it awkward,” I said. We struggled for some minutes to think of a word to replace it with, but couldn't find one that fit. “We can't change the last two phrases,” I said. “They have to go together because that's the power statement. It's not a myth. It's a fact. We' …

Healing from an encounter with a psychopath. It’s all in my perceptions.Read More

When I first got my life back after the Psychopath was arrested, I didn't know who I was, where I was or even how I'd got to that place in which I was living with such deep, dank desperation and sadness. During that 4 year 9 month relationship I had done things and behaved in ways I did not think were possible for me. But, there I was after his arrest, standing amidst the devastation of my life, forced to acknowledge the truth; I had become that crazed woman who had accepted his lies as her truth. I was that woman who, locked in his unholy arms, lost her moral compass and fell into the abyss of his web of deceit. Freed from his embrace, I looked around me and realized, I was lost. I had …

Never is a long, long time after loving a psychopathRead More

Every Saturday morning I take my golden retriever, Sadie, for a walk at a park on the edge of the city. It is a quiet time, a time for reflection, for musing, for dreaming. This morning the world was blanketed in a white veil of fog. There was no city view, no vistas of the grandeur of the jagged ridge of the Rockies marching along the western skyline. Sound was softened by the denseness of the air around me and my vision was limited by the marshmallow-like mist of the world surrounding me. It was a magical grey on white landscape of misty hills rolling into nothingness dotted by the stark relief of naked trees holding their ground against the fog swirling around their frost laden …

When I fear the past, the psychopath haunts meRead More