Last week, I was invited to participate in a “Women’s History Breakfast” at a local high school. The school asked six local women to speak about obstacles they’ve overcome in their lives and careers to a group of approximately 50 girls.
I used the opportunity to talk about sociopaths.
First, I briefly summarized my story: I married James Montgomery, an Australian, who told me he was a Hollywood movie producer and screenwriter, a war hero who served in Vietnam with Special Forces, and who came to Atlantic City to open an electronic theme park for adults on the Boardwalk. The only thing that was true was that he was Australian.
Montgomery took $227,000 from me, cheated with at least six different women during out two-and-a-half year marriage, had a child with one of them, and then, 10 days after I left him, married the mother of the child, committing bigamy for the second time.
I had the girls’ attention.
Then I told them that my husband began his career as a liar and a cheater in high school. One of the women that I interviewed for my upcoming book relayed to me a story that James Montgomery told her: While he was in high school, Montgomery picked up a girl for a date. As they were on their way to wherever they were going, she said she forgot something and had to go back home. The girl and James walk into the house, and sitting there were six other girls—he’d told each one that she was his girlfriend. He was busted.
Now I really had the girls’ attention.
What was this guy’s problem? James Montgomery was a sociopath. I explained what a sociopath usually wasn’t—a delusional serial killer. I explained what it was—someone with no heart, no conscience and no remorse.
Then I read a shortened version of the letter that Lovefraud posted last year from a 15-year-old girl, I didn’t want to be alone and believed that he loved me. The girl described her involvement with a guy who was two years older than her. It was mostly a phone relationship—he couldn’t be bothered to actually see her. But if she went out, he got mad because she wasn’t paying attention to him. Then I read the part of the letter where he tries to get the girl to go along with his sick sexual fantasies.
By now, the girls in my high school audience were shocked.
I concluded my presentation with points on how they could protect themselves from sociopaths: First, know they exist. Second, know the warning signs. Third, trust your intuition.
The girls asked a lot of questions: How did I recover from my marriage to my ex-husband? (Good therapy.) The guy in the letter was verbally abusive—are sociopaths violent? (Sometimes.) Is there any treatment for sociopaths? (Once they are adults, no.)
I hope that I’ve warned 50 girls to be on the lookout for sociopaths.
witsend
hens,
I haven’t heard this story. It sounds heart wrenching.
We have a local case here that is in the news where a 14 year old BOY killed his grandfather while he was sound asleep. And when he was questioned by the police the boy admitted that he sat by his sleeping grandfather and debated if he should kill him or not.
This boys father, now has to deal with the fact that his son killed his father. In a sense he has lost both of them.
As you can imagine because the police are not leaking out any further information on this case that EVERYONE has formed their own opinion of the motive of why this kid killed his grandfather. Public opinion has this case ALL figured out.
Me, I am not so sure. Because the motive was not addressed in the news…..I look at it from many different perspectives. But it is a very sad case indeed. 14 is pretty young to commit murder. It is a wake up call for me, I can tell you that.
ErinBrock
1 in 4% of peeps exhibit these behaviors…..so…..4% of 50 would mean there were possibly 2 that she spoke to and identified with her speech personally…..from the ‘other side’
Cat
ErinB, doing well and you? Still maintaining NC and life gets a little better every day.
Yes, on attention seeking sociopath tried to visit here. Frankly, it was pretty predictable. NASTY to Donna and I feel bad for her. But other than that, the loser was actually pretty boring…yawn.
hens, I am so sorry. I’ve read through your posts and will go find this story. How sad and so not necessary! My heart goes out to all…
Wit, a 14 year old BOY? My mind simply cannot wrap itself around that. Why? I’m sure that will come out.
These are the stories that can really anger me. Useless, nonsense killings and almost always, there is someone or more than one that missed the boat, didn’t pay attention and then this kind of thing happens. So sad…
ErinBrock
Cat:
No contact is a GOOD THING!!! Good for you!!! And good for you for recognizing the ‘change’ about your situation, day by day…..
Yes….yawn yawn….NEXT!
I’m well……moving along….keeping abreast of things…..each day is a different ride…..but much happier, and MUCH healthier…..
I am waiting for recent blood work to come back……but, I already have my suspicians on how it’s goona read……I will cross that bridge when I get to it!!!
Continue down your journey and don’t be a stranger!!!!
XXOO
EB
tobehappy
Hi Everyone…I feel asleep with my laptop next to me on the bed. NYC wore me out! Better to sleep next to my laptop than another sociopath! lol!!
Cat…thanks for the response about “love”. I agree: they have NO idea what LOVE is…mine never experienced it. How could I think he was “normal” when his mother had 9 kids with all different men …then abandoned all of them…he has NO idea who his father is….the sicko grandmother raised him and some of the sisters…??? and she was a tyrant who made the girls curtsey when they greeted her…and some “guy” that they called their father, ( real name…Lucifer Cupid..not even kidding!!!!) taught him all about ‘women’ which was all negative and taught him that a man’s conscience is “in his D&ck”!!!! OMG!!! How could I think he was normall??? Not ONE person where we worked liked him!!!!! He is a sick disordered “thing” that goes around using everyone..his exwives…daughters…and had some plans for using ME!!!
He knew I was putting away some money because I feel behind on the mortgage and couldn’t pay it for awhile. He borrowwed money from me and our first fight was me trying to get it back!!! (I did get it)
Anyway…I am so happy that I WOKE THE HELL UP and got out.
I am reading the Power of Now…intense book!!!
Its already helping me not to dwell on the past or have anxiety about the future!!! THERE IS ONLY >>>NOW.
When you really try to focus on what you are doing at the moment…its very RELAXING and peaceful.
ANyone read the book? I’m not done yet…
CAmom
Anyone know how often I should rotate the tires on my car?
They’re showing some wear and tear, but have lots of miles left on them.
Oh, and the garden is looking so much better now. Thanks for all the great advice!
one/joy_step_at_a_time
CAmom – 2 times a year at least.
I only have a moment – running out to buy new sox. glad to see you are gardening – we gotta keep the grass green.
hope you can stay a while.
one/joy_step_at_a_time
flower – you might want to post later, okay. not right now. we have unwanted visitor.
one/joy_step_at_a_time
Sabrina – hi girl!
sabrina
one step, you are right, no watering of the potted plant. thanks!!xoxo