How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Last week, I was invited to participate in a “Women’s History Breakfast” at a local high school. The school asked six local women to speak about obstacles they’ve overcome in their lives and careers to a group of approximately 50 girls.

I used the opportunity to talk about sociopaths.

First, I briefly summarized my story: I married James Montgomery, an Australian, who told me he was a Hollywood movie producer and screenwriter, a war hero who served in Vietnam with Special Forces, and who came to Atlantic City to open an electronic theme park for adults on the Boardwalk. The only thing that was true was that he was Australian.

Montgomery took $227,000 from me, cheated with at least six different women during out two-and-a-half year marriage, had a child with one of them, and then, 10 days after I left him, married the mother of the child, committing bigamy for the second time.

I had the girls’ attention.

Then I told them that my husband began his career as a liar and a cheater in high school. One of the women that I interviewed for my upcoming book relayed to me a story that James Montgomery told her: While he was in high school, Montgomery picked up a girl for a date. As they were on their way to wherever they were going, she said she forgot something and had to go back home. The girl and James walk into the house, and sitting there were six other girls—he’d told each one that she was his girlfriend. He was busted.

Now I really had the girls’ attention.

What was this guy’s problem? James Montgomery was a sociopath. I explained what a sociopath usually wasn’t—a delusional serial killer. I explained what it was—someone with no heart, no conscience and no remorse.

Then I read a shortened version of the letter that Lovefraud posted last year from a 15-year-old girl, I didn’t want to be alone and believed that he loved me. The girl described her involvement with a guy who was two years older than her. It was mostly a phone relationship—he couldn’t be bothered to actually see her. But if she went out, he got mad because she wasn’t paying attention to him. Then I read the part of the letter where he tries to get the girl to go along with his sick sexual fantasies.

By now, the girls in my high school audience were shocked.

I concluded my presentation with points on how they could protect themselves from sociopaths: First, know they exist. Second, know the warning signs. Third, trust your intuition.

The girls asked a lot of questions: How did I recover from my marriage to my ex-husband? (Good therapy.) The guy in the letter was verbally abusive—are sociopaths violent? (Sometimes.) Is there any treatment for sociopaths? (Once they are adults, no.)

I hope that I’ve warned 50 girls to be on the lookout for sociopaths.

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  2. one/joy_step_at_a_time

    conomo – st8t from the lovefraud cooking channel:

    I bring espresso, crushed (green) cardamon and 35% cream to a light boil; turn off the cream flame, cover the pot and let steep until it tastes strongly of both ”“ 1/2 hour +; strain and set aside.

    melt 70 to 90% dark chocolate in a double boiler, then add it to the warm cream, slowly and whipping as you go. add unsalted butter, whipping as you go. this gives you the ’ganache’

    let the ganache cool in the fridge. takes from one hour up to get the consistancy right so that it will hold shape and yet is workable. it WILL melt in your hands.

    hand roll this part is a bugger and the only way one gets good at is PRACTICE. if you make a big mess ”“ re melt mixture on very low heat in the oven, re chill and try again.

    then i roll them in melted white chocolate, allow to cool, and roll them in milk chocolate, making some patterns with fork tines, or roll in cocoa.

    ratios: about 1 cup heavy cream (35%)
    7 oz. dark chocolate
    2 to 3 oz milk/ white chocolate
    8 green cardamon pods
    1/2 teaspoon espresso ”“ adjust this up or down, depending on how much you like coffee
    2 tablespoons grated butter @ room temp.

  6. geminigirl

    YUM!! I can practically TASTE these yummy cardamom scented chocs! Now we know,{Oxy and I,} scientifically, right, that chocolate gives you a better Dopamine high then sex!And guess what, chocs dont give you STDs, dont get you pregnant,dont come with a spath, given away free with each box,{pun NOT intended,}They dont give us grey hair, worries or hang overs.
    Chocs are GOOD for you!!
    And as Oscar Wilde famously said,–
    “I can resist ANYTHING except temptation!”
    Love, MamaGemXX

  7. geminigirl

    One step, Imagine when we can send smells and flavours thru the internet! WOW!! Ill be queuing up for some of your yummy cardamom chocs!
    Easter Huggles,
    MamaGem.XX

  8. silvermoon

    I think we are onto something here-
    Its good for you too!

    Cardamom, a member of the ginger family, is native to the indian subcontinent and a significant spice in that region’s ancient cuisine. Medicinally, it is also highly respected; the dried seedpods and seeds have been used in ayurveda for thousands of years and were prized by the Greeks and Romans. Cardamom actually can serve both medicinally and culinary functions at the same time. It not only adds its aromatic flavor to foods but also makes them more digestible. Not surprisingly, it is most valuable for treating gastrointestinal disturbances, such as gas, cramps, lack of appetite and indigestion. Cardamom serves to boost the metabolism, which can help in dealing with obesity; it may also boost the spirits. In addition, cardamom helps to combat respiratory inflammations and urinary-tract and yeast infections.

  9. silvermoon

    Thanks One for a bit of ancient magic all rolled into a truffle.
    Who’d have thought?
    (tee hee)

    2B, Soy candles are great idea.
    I bet it would be easy to have some made.
    Lets find out!

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