When looking for love, 20 million Americans look on Internet dating sites. Now, companies offer quick and easy background checks, although some experts worry about their effectiveness.
Read New online-date detectives can unmask Mr. or Ms. Wrong, on NYTimes.com.
backonmyfeet
I think this is fantastic! Our ‘Crooked Casanova’ has found countless victims on the different dating sites. It has been a very lucrative avenue for him. He has been kicked off Match.com twice; as well as eHarmony only because one of us came across his profile. Who knows what other sites he is on. Make it a simple, relatively inexpensive process to do a quick background check. Genius!
Ox Drover
A “Quick background check” may not turn up ALL criminal records, and a lot of other stuff, so I would not count on this being very reliable. Internet dating is still very chancy and dangerous in my opinion, and a lot of people’s scams are UNDER THE RADAR and don’t show up in even criminal checks as CHARGES alone aren’t public records always.
I think I will stay off internet dating sites if I ever get to where I am “looking” again!
lesson learned
I really take issue with this. I think a background check should be MANDATORY!!
BUT BUT BUT BUT!!! I think it should very stressed beyond BELIEF that not all sociopaths, in fact, MANY would NOT have a criminal background, have jobs and are DIVORCED!!
My ex Spath is on MANY dating sites!!! And he has destroyed MANY women’s lives!!! I think that following the dating rules established here in cluing into a psychopath/sociopath/narcissist is accurate and dead on if one is really paying attention! If there was a way to attach those rules to a dating site, I would do it for sure!
My father is also a major…something N/S/P…..he too, cruises those sites. A retired man with LOTS of money!!! NEVER a criminal record and very much “respected” within his past working community. I feel very concerned that this article stresses only exposure with a criminal background check. If a woman checks him out, and his criminal background is clean and he’s divorced, she may think there is nothing wrong.
I hope information about sociopaths, psychopaths, narcissists becomes much more defined in our society someday, women/men more alert to predators who only wish to feed off their lonely hearts and vulnerabilities….without stealing a dime, without ever having spent time in prison…..
Ox Drover
I agree lesson learned, and I think you have LEARNED YOUR LESSON on this score at least. My P-BF was someone I had casually known in real life for about 10 years and most people who CASUALLY knew him thought he was GREAT!
He was a wife beating, serial cheating, lying, secretly drinking, drunk driving, manipulating arsehole—he would have shown up clean as a whistle on a back ground check. It was only by picking up hints here and there and from his cousin telling me some things I figured out he was only grooming me for a “respectable wife” to cheat on. He still had his harem in the back ground and was actively having affairs with them while he was dating and grooming me to be the next Mrs. Cheater.
Background checks don’t tell you much except what is criminal or on line, and most of the cheating is done under the radar!
dancingnancies
It’s one step forward for safety’s sake but it won’t solve all the problems with dating sites for sure. This should already be mandated, IMHO. Especially if you are paying a dating site- it’s really a no brainer in my opinion. However, there are dozens upon dozens of high functioning sociopaths who get away with a lot of things.. so there’s not much of a quick fix in that respect. Though a good change indeed.
one/joy_step_at_a_time
did someone mention my name?
Ox Drover
Dear One,
You are soooo Narcissistic! 🙂 LOL Every time you hear the word “one” you think they are talking about you! LOL ROTFLMAO! 🙂 Or is it paranoid? Paranoid? Narcissistic? come on, which is it! LOL
dancingnancies
i will admit to having thought of you while writing that sentence. 😛
soimnotthecrazee1
LOL @ y’all!!!!
That’s what i was trying to tell Glinda last night on another thread. Background checks don’t take a moral temperature! They can be “clean as a whistle” on paper and be the best spath you have ever met! We need to create a “moral” bureau to be able to check these idiots! Just like a credit one!
One Step: Are you an N?
Soimnotthecrazee1!
one/joy_step_at_a_time
i have to admit that i have seen narcissistic traits in y’all.
🙂