When looking for love, 20 million Americans look on Internet dating sites. Now, companies offer quick and easy background checks, although some experts worry about their effectiveness.
Read New online-date detectives can unmask Mr. or Ms. Wrong, on NYTimes.com.
Yea I have been good,k and a box of Cheryl’s cookies came UPS today and I ate 2 for “lunch” (how is that for NUTRITION) LOL but they had 160 mg of sodium in them, but I figured what the heck, it is christmas! but that was about all I ate today with sodium in it. LOL I really have been a good girl, but stuck at the 22 pound loss mark, so got to get exercising more, and I’m cleaning house with a furry (got a big 3-day sleep over party New Years) so got to get everything spic and span so I am scrubb-a-dubb-du-ba and that IS EXERCISE!
Yeah, cleaning the house IS good exercise!!!
I think I’ll work on that after I get up off the couch. LOL
Eb wont be having any Eggnog for Xmas, that there darned Bar done got it!
Mama GemX
Ox LOL! When I saw your post after mine I thought…..oh my…*grimace**…I do capitalize often to emphasize a point huh? So funny how that hit me. Oh well. It is what it is for me right now. LOL! Emphasis on humor there 🙂
LOLOLOL@Ox about the nogg!!!!
Is there a website to post names or descriptions of sociopaths, like the Crooked Casanova, how can we avoid them?
Dear lesson learned,
I am the capitalize QUEEN here I think! I don’t do whole paragraphs, because it makes it hard to read, but I do it a lot!
That was a little bit of my humor (lesson learned, your name) and LEARNED THE LESSON (and I think you HAVE! DONE THAT) on that particular thing. The pun is the lowest form of humor!
So you go on capitallizing if you want to! (((hugs))))
Dear MISSY,
You asked about a web site to name them—there is don’tdatehimgirl and a few others,— but my suggestion is that the “way you AVOID them” is to don’t internet date at all, and when you do meet someone, don’t fall for instant flattery, but to get to know the person AS A PERSON and size them up before you get emotionally involved.
1) do they have friends that are good people (in other words if he hangs out with druggies, and creeps, he is likely a creep too. “Birds of a feather flock together.” If no, then bye bye.
2) does s/he have a job? One they have done for some time and are usually employed? No, say bye bye
3) do they have a stable residence or do they couch surf with their friends? No, dump them.
4) do they have their own transportation? (I realize some people in BIG cities don’t own vehicles but there is public transportation available)
5) are they respectful of others feelings. If they scream at a waiter, or anyone else say bye bye.
6) are they heavy and regular drinkers/druggies? If so, say bye bye
7) and so on…make up your own list here of the kinds of people that you DON’T want. A psychopath will have an EXCUSE for each of the questions they flunk, but don’t accept those excuses, because if you do then you are in for another traumatic relationship with another person who is high in psychopathic traits.
Look for someone who is stable, and I say LOOK, watch their ACTIONS and LISTEN for clues.
Dear Ox Drover,
I did the don’t date him girl! Thank you!
This S has been in contact with me for five years now. We dated, off and on. In the last six months after having very little contact, I got weak, responded to emails from him and tried to have a friendship, but he uses it to tell me how much he misses me. Yesterday, I find out that he is calling me from another woman’s house! I said I would remain in contact, detached friendship, but if he was into someone else, I wanted to know upfront. Of course, after reading similar posts, I realize how stupid it was for me to think he would be more honest if we were detached friends, he is a sociopath!
I guess I still understand my wanting contact (but I fight it), just am not clear what they get out of it. He seems pathetic. When we spoke (I know dumb move), he has these f* up explanations of why he is now spending the holidays with another woman- and he is not serious with this woman, but they are exclusive- Then tells me he will break up with her in January and come see me? I do not want him here, why continuing to contact me??
I know- to see if he gets a rise. No contact worked for a bit, but eventually I wore down and tried the detached friendship. But admitted to him (I know, stupid again) how hurtful it was to hear around the holidays that he is with someone else- but it is better than his lying to me. Now, I can know no regrets, he just does this with whoever allows him to. Even this new person would be very hurt if she knew all he said. So at least I
have no doubts, he is sick.
I know I am not as strong as I thought because I thought we could do this superficial friendship. When I got myself out of the enmeshment, I starting feeling good, in control of my life, working out, having good friendships with women and some men. Am even dating a bit. Why I let the creep back in is something I will still need to work on. He is so good at the apologies and promises. How sick he feels, how important I am to him blah, blah, blah. I wrote a final response,
I did not have anything real with you and do not want anything with you in the future. We tried being friends and you f** that up with lying (AGAIN) about caring for me but being with other women. I want people in my life that love and support me. You are one of the people, that I learned from and now must discard. Thank you for the lesson, I will look at a person’s action and if it does not match their words, I will not give them future chances to have me (a gift) in their life in any capacity. I will allow one response from you (my gift), but you may never contact me again (you gift to me) or I will press charges.
I wish I had not done the last part , but can not unsend it… oh! well. At least I am not hurt – but am still angry, but will go work out and that goes away too.
thank you for allowing me to write this down!
Missymud
Dear Missy,
I never had seen a good side to being “friends” with them—my X BF used to say to me whiile we were still dating “if we broke up we’d still be best friends” and I thought “NOOOOOOO??? What is this?” Now I know what it meant it meant “we will still have sex after we break up and you won’t hold it against me that I cheated on you while we were dating”
WELL, NO!!!! Not my idea of a “friendship”—first off I do not have sex with my friends of either sex, and I do not want ANY sex with anyone who is ALSO having sex with anyone else. Sex to me is a bonding ritual between two (notice I said TWO) people who love each other….and if one of those two people is ALSO having sex with someone else, it sort of means in MY OPINION that they are not IN LOVE WITH YOU. So having sex with them sort of means instead of a “bonding ritual between two people who love each other” it instead becomes:
One person using another person who loves them for cheap sex regardless of how much it would hurt the other one when they learn the truth, and one person who thinks they are loved and loves in return who will be devastated when they find out that the other person was just using them.
Not a great script. I think I will pass.