How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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I wish I would have known sooner that people like this existed

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  Editor's note: A Lovefraud reader who posts as "Zenagirl10" sent the following story. I have had 5 years experience with a sociopath. It started out my ex was dating a friend of mine and they were engaged to be married. They broke up and she moved away. Then he set his sights on me. Initially I was not interested in him at all. But I thought he wants to buy all these things for me and at the time I could only afford the necessities. So I continued with the relationship. Everything moved so quickly, he was constantly texting, phoning and wanting to be by my side 24-7. I was like wow, he must really be in love with me. There were several red flags that I did not notice and I wish I …

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‘Coercive control:’ Domestic violence without the physical abuse

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In an article in the New York Times, writer Abby Ellin explains the concept of "coercive control" a pattern of behavior in which one partner in a romantic relationship dominates his or her partner. She writes: Coercive control describes an ongoing and multipronged strategy, with tactics that include manipulation, humiliation, isolation, financial abuse, stalking, gaslighting and sometimes physical or sexual abuse. England and Wales have just passed a law making coercive or controlling behavior a form of domestic violence. The United States should do the same. With coercive control, the abuse is psychological, on NYTimes.com.   …

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Not Knowing About Sociopaths = Big Red Flags Missed

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By O.N. Ward Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 14: Danger! Bridge Out Ahead “Our honeymoon isn't over until I say it's over” was not just a red flag, it was an oversized, florescent red flag accompanied by blaring sirens and fireworks. Why did I miss what is so obvious in hindsight? I did not understand that people like Paul really exist in the world, not just in movies or as someone else's husband on shows like …

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After Unwittingly Falling In Love With A Sociopath: Feeling “Off,” Subtle Anxiety, And A Sense of Unease

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By O.N. Ward Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 13: Knowing, Without Knowing We Know A chronic, subtle sense of unease, anxiety, and feeling that something is “off” are classic symptoms of being in a relationship with a sociopath. These feelings became my constant companions. The Iowa Gambling Task is a classic study designed by neuroscientists at the University of Iowa and discussed at length in a book by Antonio Dama …

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My ex has custody of our daughter, even though he pleaded guilty to domestic violence

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Cassidy." I was married for 2 years. The problems emerged after my daughter was born. Jumping to the end of the story, we separated and divorced. We had final court orders for parenting and property in 2010. Since then I have been back to court at least 20 times, we have 3 final orders. My ex now has custody of my daughter, even though he was accused of domestic violence and pleaded guilty to the charges. In Australia the presumption for shared care is set aside if you can prove this. I was given custody of my little girl the first and second court cases. He was given sole parenting on the third. Needless to …

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On Independence Day: 6 Strategies to break free of the sociopath

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  Happy 4th of July! In honor of Independence Day, here are six strategies for breaking free of a sociopath, psychopath, narcissist or some other exploiter. Choose the right strategy for your situation, and declare your independence! The No Nonsense Rejection Statement If you were dealing with normal people, you might want spare their feelings or let them down easy. But if you're seeing the Red Flags of Love Fraud and you suspect you're dealing with a sociopath, don't worry about hurting their feelings because they don't have any. If it's early in the involvement, and neither of you have much invested, you can use the rejection statement approach to get away. Here's what you …

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When Katherine Morris, 22, died suddenly, police ruled it suicide, but her mother continues to investigate

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  Four years ago, Katherine Morris, a young woman who was two weeks away from graduating from the University of Maryland, died suddenly. The police said the death was suicide. Her mother, Rev. Marguerite Morris isn't so sure and she is still working to uncover the truth. Katherine Morris was married to a soldier, Isaac Goodwin. But her mother contends that the marriage was a sham, that Goodwin married just to defraud the government of Basic Allowance for Housing pay, and he was never held accountable. In fact, Goodwin received a $100,000 insurance payout for Katherine's death. Lovefraud wrote about this tragic story previously. You can see it here: Army Specialist Isaac Goodwin …

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With A Sociopath, It Can All Change So Fast!

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By O.N. Ward Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 12: What Just Happened? Paul and I arrived back in Minneapolis late on a Saturday and spent a leisurely Sunday together. Both of us needed to return to work on Monday morning. I had not worked the entire vacation or even checked in with the office. My co-workers and team leader knew I was on my honeymoon and that I would not be in touch. Still, before I left, I had been w …

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Escaping the Sociopath and Rebuilding Your Life

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  Perhaps you now know that you're involved with a sociopath or other disordered individual. You've been Googling "sociopath" "psychopath" and "narcissist" like crazy, and found that a lot of what you read matches the behavior that you see. So now what? What do you do? That's what I will explain in Part 3 of the Lovefraud Recovery Series. The webinar takes place Thursday, June 30, at 8 pm Eastern time. Escaping the Sociopath and Rebuilding Your Life Here is some of what I will explain: What NOT to do when you learn of your partner's betrayal Do you fight or cut your losses and run? Tips and strategies for lawsuits, divorce and child custody battles What can help when your …

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The high cost of rape – in pain and dollars

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Editor's note: The following article was written by the Lovefraud reader, "Jennifer in NYC." The New York Times OP-ED article, “What One Rape Cost Our Family” (Friday, June 24, 2016), by the California-based, freelance journalist, Laura Hilgers, chronicles the years of devastation her family faced after her daughter was raped by a fellow student while attending a college in Washington D.C. .  A freshman at the time, her daughter, Willa, waited one year before she reported the crime.  However, during this time she developed “...post-traumatic stress disorder, panic attacks, depression, and an an addiction to alcohol.  And while she chose not to file criminal charges—out of fear of being traum …

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