Dr. Delroy L. Paulhus and his colleagues ran experiments to study "everyday sadists" people who enjoy inflicting pain on others. According to this article in the New York Times, "Psychopaths want to get things from people and don't care about hurting them to do so," Paulhus said. "Sadists look for opportunities to hurt people, and prolong it for their own pleasure." 'Everyday sadists' among us, on NYTimes.com. …
Recovery from the sociopath: Remember to live
For many of us, when we finally disengage from the sociopath, our lives are in shambles. We aren't just trying to recover from a broken heart due to the sociopath's unconscionable betrayal. We may also need to recover from financial devastation, ruined relationships with family and friends, lost jobs, lost businesses, lost homes, stress-related illness and the aftershocks of psychological manipulation. No wonder we feel like zombies. Where do we start? How do we rebuild our lives? In the beginning, our focus is rightfully on crisis management. We make sure we have shelter, food, financial support. We must find solutions for the basic issues of survival. Eventually, the crisis …
LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: My involvement with a female sociopath
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader in the United Kingdom whom we'll call "Edward." There seems to be a lot of stories regarding male sociopaths, so I thought I would share some insight from my own life story thus far. I met T about 10 years ago. It wasn't love at first sight, but I quite liked her. I guess I fell for my own rescuing mentality (since noticed and dealt with), and made a bid for her affections. I let my guard down, as one who would wish to be loved has a need too, so the other can see some more of me. There were many times during this period where I should have walked away from T, but I thought I loved her and hoped that by being a good, …
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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: People like him don’t change
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following e-mail from a reader whom we'll call "Ethel." I too married a Sociopath although it took way to long for me to see through the lies ”¦ I found out he had been cheating with numerous women ”¦ One day as he kept hanging up on me, I dialed his cell repeatedly in anger. As I kept pushing the #'s, miraculously, for some reason, his voicemail started to play and a woman's voice was saying what time he should pick her up, what restaurant reservations were made ”¦ Well, confused at who it may be, I never said anything, but continued to check the messages daily. The messages seemed a little like business but I went with my gut and went online to ch …
Why being lied to is worse than being the liar
Psychiatrist Anna Fels explains why people who have been lied to over a long period of time find it difficult to recover. Great Betrayals, on NYTimes.com. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader. …
Divorcing A Sociopath: Avoiding Conflict and Other Mistakes
by Quinn Pierce For a long time, I tried to keep confrontations with my ex-husband to a minimum. I always thought that I could avoid causing my boys any further harm by just ”˜keeping the peace'. I considered it a small price to pay if I had to tolerate inconveniences and insults in order to give my children a drama-less environment. But, as is always the case when negotiating with a sociopath, the price was much higher than I ever imagined. Good Intentions I believed I was setting an example by taking the high road and not engaging my ex-husband in his game-playing antics. Unfortunately, what I was doing was letting a bully set the rules and move the boundaries at will. And whil …
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The journey from pain to peace
The Lovefraud reader "Kataroux" has been struggling with the profound betrayal she endured at the hands of a charming young sociopath who turned out to be nothing more than a parasite. She told her entire story in the post from September 25, 2013, entitled How I was duped by a young sociopath and believed all his lies until now! On October 4, Kataroux posted the following comment on Lovefraud: As I sit here tonight I find myself wondering how I ever let something like this happen to me and yet I know the answer. I just buried my husband and wanted to feel loved again and Spath jumped in with promises of a wonderful future and I bent over backwards to give him just that. Notice I said …
Dr. Robert Hare compares psychopathic traits to corporations
Dr. Robert Hare developed the Psychopathy Checklist Revised (PCL-R), which is the usually instrument used by researchers to evaluate a person's level of disorder. In this video, he explains the traits of a psychopath, and compares them to corporate behaviors. …
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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: My story with sociopaths (in three parts)
Editor's note: A Lovefraud reader who posts as "Uhlen47" sent in her story. Discovering your website was, in many ways, a godsend. I am 59 years old, and I have not had a relationship for 11 years. Why? Because the last relationship I had was with a sociopath, and I have been too frightened to enter into another because I don't trust my judgment. The Beginning My mother was/is a sociopath with whom I no longer have a relationship. She abused me as a child, mentally, emotionally, and physically. My only gratitude to her is that she provided food, clothing and shelter, but she provided these probably because too much negative social stigma was attached to not providing it, and my …
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Tools to predict if psychopaths will re-offend are only 46.7% accurate, study says
A new study in the British Journal of Psychiatry found that psychological assessment tools were about as effective as flipping a coin in predicting whether disordered individuals will re-offend after being released from prison. Predicting violence among psychopaths is no more than chance, on Phsy.org. Predicting future violence among individuals with psychopathy, on PJP.RCPsych.org. Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader. …
Tools to predict if psychopaths will re-offend are only 46.7% accurate, study saysRead More