How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

You are here: Home / Lovefraud Blog

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: He kept saying God brought us together

//  by //  43 Comments

Editor's note: A Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "Linette" sent the following email. This article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. I had been out of a different type of abusive marriage for about a year when a friend of mine sent me an ad from one of those local singles sites that she thought I should look at. I was at work and not busy at the time so I went over to the link "just for fun." At the top of the list of "ads" in big bold letters was the title, "JESUS IS LORD." "How bold!" I thought, "to be able to not be ashamed of Jesus!" In my mind I thought it was not a good idea to meet a man online, but well, I kept thinking about that …

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: He kept saying God brought us togetherRead More

Military’s massive problem with sexual assault

//  by //  7 Comments

A new report released by the Pentagon estimates that as many as 26,000 military members may have been sexually assaulted last year. But only 3,374 assaults were reported in 2012, because the service members do not have confidence in military justice. Sex assaults growing epidemic in military, on SFChronicle.com. In the meantime, Lt. Col. Jeff Krusinski, 41, the Air Force official in charge of its sexual-assault prevention program, was arrested for groping. Air Force's sex-abuse prevention honcho charged with sexual battery, on NBCNews.com.   …

Military’s massive problem with sexual assaultRead More

Shining a light on emotional rape

//  by //  194 Comments

Editor's note: Joyce M. Short is the author of a soon to be released book, "Carnal Abusive Deceit When a Predator's Lies Become Rape." The book chronicles her life with a predator, the subsequent aftermath and her road to recovery. It also provides advice for victims and their supporters, and discusses the issues surrounding criminalization of rape-by-fraud. Joyce lives in New York City, where she's a real estate broker, professional tennis instructor and a strong advocate for her community. A Predator's "Mark" Often Struggles to Overcome Rape-by-Fraud or Emotional Rape By Joyce M. Short I was hoodwinked by a charlatan. It was not until I found the appropriate terms to express what I'd …

Shining a light on emotional rapeRead More

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: My ex-wife, the sociopath (Part 4)

//  by //  69 Comments

Editor's note: The following story was sent to Lovefraud by a man whom we'll call "Anthony." He believes his ex-wife is a sociopath. This is part 4 of 4. The story refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. Read: Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 Trying to make sense of the insanity: How could someone behave this way? At this point I was totally bewildered and completely devastated. Nothing at all made sense to me. I remembered all of the strange events that happened throughout our “relationship,” and I knew that they all tied together somehow, but even the events themselves were so bizarre, that my mind just could not make sense of them. I knew that she was …

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: My ex-wife, the sociopath (Part 4)Read More

Recovery – parallel courses for moving forward

//  by //  5 Comments

What sociopaths do to us is unfair, coercive, exploitative and evil. In a just world, they would be held accountable. They would be forced to return what they took from us, and compensate us for the pain and suffering they have caused. They might even be prosecuted and imprisoned. But we do not live in a just world. We live in a world that is oblivious to the human predators among us. We live in a world where clueless people believe a convincing liar; the best performer wins and courts have neither the time nor the inclination to sort out the truth from the lies. For all of us who have been targeted, this adds insult to injury. We've been abused and exploited. We are damaged. Then because …

Recovery – parallel courses for moving forwardRead More

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: My ex-wife, the sociopath (Part 3)

//  by //  16 Comments

Editor's note: The following story was sent to Lovefraud by a man whom we'll call "Anthony." He believes his ex-wife is a sociopath. This is part 3 of 4. The story refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. Read: Part 1 - Part 2 The Incompetent Therapist After several years of scratching my head and trying to deal with my wife's odd behavior, and trying to deal with an obvious dysfunctional relationship with her highly manipulative teenage daughter, I finally sought the help of a therapist. At this point in the “relationship,” I had put many of the pieces together. I still did not know about sociopaths\psychopaths, or how these people behave and wha …

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: My ex-wife, the sociopath (Part 3)Read More

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: My ex-wife, the sociopath (Part 2)

//  by //  Leave a Comment

Editor's note: The following story was sent to Lovefraud by a man whom we'll call "Anthony." He believes his ex-wife is a sociopath. This is part 2 of 4. The story refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. Read: Part 1 Early Bird Gets “The Worm” When we met, in late January of 2008, Jezabel's morning schedule was to report to the office at 6am, She said that she liked getting her work done while it was quiet. Her alarm would go off at 5am, and she would leave for the office by 5:45, to arrive by 6:00. From 6am until probably about 8:00am, there were no co-workers in the state government building at all. Most of the other workers started to report t …

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: My ex-wife, the sociopath (Part 2)Read More

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: My ex-wife, the sociopath (Part 1)

//  by //  11 Comments

Editor's note: The following story was sent to Lovefraud by a man whom we'll call "Anthony." He believes his ex-wife is a sociopath. He tells his story in great detail, so it will be  serialized, appearing today and over the next three days. The story refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. Meeting the Perfect Woman I met her through a mutual friend one evening at a local restaurant. I found her strikingly attractive, and we made a plan to have dinner the following week, which we did. I was “hooked” fairly quickly, and I remember thinking many times how I must have been the luckiest man alive to have this gorgeous and intelligent woman want to …

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: My ex-wife, the sociopath (Part 1)Read More

Why are some people scared of us?

//  by //  88 Comments

While in the height of conflict with psychopaths or those with psychopathic features, sometimes, we scare people. I don't mean Halloween "scary costume" scary.  I don't mean "things that go bump in the night" scary.  No, I mean "take a look at yourself" scary.  There are those around us who will see us go through what we do, and back away, simply because they realize that what we are experiencing or have experienced is just too strange and horrible to handle. Maybe they don't understand.  Maybe they don't know what to say to us, as this is a special type of trauma.  Often, some of us give others a "pass" for those reasons.  That is perfectly understandable.  However, I believe that there are …

Why are some people scared of us?Read More

60 Minutes show on Charles Cullen: A missed opportunity for education

//  by //  14 Comments

Editor's note: The following commentary was provided by the Lovefraud reader who posts as "Jennifer." Another example of the (gross) misrepresentation of  psychopathology / psychopathy in the media ”¦ The most recent episode of "60 Minutes" (which aired last Sunday, the 28th) contained two segments on Charles Cullen, a former nurse who is now considered to be the most prolific serial killer in U.S. history.  (Cullen was a staff nurse in several New Jersey hospitals and it's now thought that he may have murdered an estimated 400 people, via lethal injection.)  His harrowing story is chronicled in the newly-published book, The Good Nurse:  A True Story of Medicine, Madness, and Murder, by …

60 Minutes show on Charles Cullen: A missed opportunity for educationRead More