I have heard it suggested that there may be those who "attract" psychopaths. It does not matter what the relationship. Some feel that there are people who are simply prone to involvement with individuals with psychopathic features. Is this true? Maybe. Maybe not. Why do they feel this way? Talk to victims. There are many who have been involved with psychopaths who feel that they are "everywhere." The same story keeps happening over and over. It's like Ground Hog Day or Fifty First Dates. Perhaps these victims have had several romantic experiences with psychopaths. Perhaps they feel many of their family members are psychopaths. Others report experiencing a variety of different encou …
Critiquing expert views on sociopaths, part 1: CNN blogger on Ariel Castro
People who have committed horrific acts have been in the news a lot recently. Prime examples are Ariel Castro, accused of holding three women captive for 10 years in Cleveland, Ohio, and Jodi Arias, convicted of viciously murdering her ex-boyfriend in Mesa, Arizona. Who is so heartless and cruel that they can engage in these terrible behaviors? The answer is probably that the perpetrators are personality disordered. So various mental health experts have been writing blog articles on the cases and personality disorders, which Lovefraud readers have been forwarding to me. Some of the statements made in the articles I agree with, and some I don't. So I'm going to write a series of critiques of …
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Sociopaths, crying, sex and cooking
Lovefraud recently received the following email from a reader whom we'll call "Judith." She asked questions that many readers may wonder about, so I'll answer them in this post. Sociopaths do not feel emotions, empathy or cry - Yes, he did play the 'cry game' when I would tell him the relationship was 'over' (which I did a few times) or want to walk out of his door. Q1. He used to cry incessantly for his parents/grandparents who love him a lot, and feeling homesick (staying alone). Or cry that I was not with him in the same place and how much he misses me (online chat). He would mostly be drinking when he cries like a river. He longed for having a wife in his life?? He proposed to almost …
Conflict of interest in Connecticut family court
Last week Anne Stevenson, a Lovefraud reader, contributed and article to the Washington Times outlining a web of  improper relationships among judges and family court service providers in Connecticut. CT court employees face tough questions over conflicts of interest in WashingtonTimes.com. …
What we should do when sociopaths experience no consequences
Lovefraud recently received the following email from a reader who posts as "Salvation2012." Thank you for helping me decide when I needed to cut my losses during my divorce. I did cut my "losses," yet the total I received tallied up to a number similar, just not in all cash. Because I settled in his eyes, he told everyone I was just proving how I was the guilty one and didn't want to risk being exposed. To the end he will deny permanently injuring me and bleeding me of money, and cheating on me (which I only later found out about the extent). My recent concern is watching him seemingly have no consequences. I'm not a vengeful person, so this is a distressing area for me, but I just …
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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: I have no further use to him and I am being disposed of
Editor's note: The following letter was written by a woman who posts as "Sam." And to answer her question at the end, it sounds like she's been involved with a series of sociopaths. It all started for me around 11 years ago when I first met what I thought was "the love of my life" and the only man I would ever consider settling down with—up until only months ago. I was only a young 16-year-old girl and he was 21 when we first started seeing each other. I had a rather unstable childhood where I witnessed domestic violence from a very young age, and I left home before my 15th birthday. I did not have the best parental guidance. After leaving home I was living from house to house. I had n …
LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: I have no further use to him and I am being disposed ofRead More
CDC says 1 in 5 U.S. kids have a mental health disorder
The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) releases a report stating that about 20 percent of children between the ages of 3 and 17 are living with mental health disorders. CDC finds mental health woes in one in five U.S. kids, on CBSNews.com. Mental health surveillance among children United States, 2005 - 2011, on CDC.gov. …
CDC says 1 in 5 U.S. kids have a mental health disorderRead More
NIMH v DSM-5: Mental health professionals continue to disagree
The bigwigs of mental health research have slammed the bigwigs of psychiatry, which will probably mean more confusion for the rest of us. In 10 days, on May 27, 2013, the American Psychiatric Association's new Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders 5th Edition, or DSM-5, will be published. This is the massive reference book that psychiatrists and therapists use in order to diagnose mental illness. But a few weeks ago, the head of the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), which is the world's largest funding agency for research into mental health, trashed the DSM-5. More precisely, Thomas R. Insel, M.D., director of NIMH, said the government agency would no longer fund …
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“White hats, black hats,” and the dissenting opinion
Many of us here have had experiences in court where we were less than satisfied with the outcomes. I feel mainly fortunate in that respect. For the most part, those I dealt with understood enough about personality disorders to act accordingly. However, in one case I am familiar with, that clarity was somewhat lacking. In the end, things worked out fine because the judge followed the laws of the land explicitly. Nonetheless, it is worth mentioning because, in my opinion, his attitude and belief system could have been of serious concern had different issues (in the same court) been at stake. As long as there are those who believe as he does, and he is not unique in this way, justice may no …
“White hats, black hats,” and the dissenting opinionRead More
LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Signs of poor character
Editor's note: The following letter was written by a Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "Gwendolyn." I was married to a sociopath and addict for four years. He did the love bombing thing with me and pushed for moving in and marriage very early, within the first few months. I was afraid of the consequences of refusing him, so I foolishly went along and moved into his house then married him. I only lived with him for two and a half years. It was a twisted game of lies, addiction and emotional abuse. It was a long and damaging period of time. At first it was intoxicating. He said we were destined for each other, that I was "the one," and that he couldn't stand to be apart from me so I needed me …