How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Now I can honestly say to a victim, ‘I understand how you feel’

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Editor's note: This Lovefraud reader formerly posted under the name of "Adelle." Her articles include "A thank you note to my sociopath" and "If the shoe doesn't fit, don't wear it." In the past I have written under the name of Adelle in an effort to keep my stalker from finding me. I dated this man and lived with him for about two years; he knows one of my passions is writing. I've written a few articles that have been published; he knows my style so it didn't take him long to figure out I was “Adelle.” The fact that while I was still living with him I would get my support from Lovefraud also made it easy to find my writings. He knows a lot about me; of course he does ”¦ that is what soci …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Destruction of our lives through family courts

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Editor's note: The following email was sent by a woman whom we'll call "Eralyn." I have been "lurking" (I guess it's called) your site for quite some time. I want to thank you for your website as I am grateful to see people who know and understand the insanity of all of this. I have decided to write to you as I read the posts of women who have very young children with a sociopath and they sound so much like me a decade ago that I cannot in good conscience keep quiet. While I don't want to cause any more fear than they are already living with, I do want them to be warned and keep their guard up. They need to know the way things are going in the court system down the road. Poking h …

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Mourning the man who never was (because he is a psychopath)

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Before I had children, I always dreamed that my children would have a wonderful relationship with both me and their father.   Given the close relationship that I have with my father, I could never have imagined a situation where I would NOT want my child's father to have access to him/her.  (Until now, of course) Here is a quick example of how I felt about my father as a child and why I dreamed for my child to have the same: (This conversation took place as my father was tying my shoes.) Young Cappuccino Queen (circa age 5):  Daddy, when I grow up can I marry you? My father (holding back laughter):  No baby girl, I am already married to your mother. Cappuccino Queen:  But Daddy, I …

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Woman tells her story of marriage to radio personality Jeff Rense

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Melinda Jane Kellogg holds a Ph.D. in physics. Jeff Rense has an alternative radio program. Kellogg listened to the program for more than two years, and then, on Rense's birthday, sent him a "Happy Birthday" email. He responded, they corresponded, they visited, they married. It didn't turn out as Kellogg expected, and she tells the whole story—complete with documentation—on her website. Visit Melinda Jane Kellogg Link supplied by two Lovefraud readers. UPDATE: More of the story is available on HenryMakow.com.  …

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Law enforcement sacrifices victims so they can build a case

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Back in June, a mother and daughter from Colorado, Tracy Vasseur, 40, and Karen Vasseur, 73, were charged with helping unknown Nigerian bosses take money from women in an elaborate online dating scam. More than $1 million was stolen from 374 unsuspecting women in 40 different countries. In the scheme, unknown scammers posing as members of the U.S. Armed Forces pursued online romances with victims they met on dating sites and Facebook. The scammers "proved" their identities with fake military documents and personal photos, and eventually start asking for money for "satellite phones," or so the "soldier" could travel to meet the victim. The Vasseurs acted as military "agents" to collect …

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Can narcissists become leaders?

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An article in Harvard Business Review says that narcissists make poor leaders. I'd agree with that. Then the article claims that through mentorship, companies can transform high-achievers with narcissistic traits into quality leaders. What do you think? Is it possible? Read: Narcissism: The difference between high achievers and leaders, on blogs.HBR.org. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader. …

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I’m addicted to him

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Editor's note: The following was posted as a comment by the Lovefraud reader "Zootowngirl." She eloquently expressed ideas that many other readers can certainly understand. I read the articles and comments posted on Lovefraud.com and I see my life, or parts of it, described over and over again. I see things my ex did (or didn't do) written in the words of other people. I see myself in their stories. Often I find myself thinking, “Thank God my experience wasn't that bad or that long,” and other times I nod my head in silent, humiliated understanding that comes with first hand knowledge of the horror stories people share. My ex has the most beautiful soul. He is kind and compassionate and …

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When the emotionally abused “behave badly”

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Has the emotionally abusive individual in your life ever "encouraged" you to behave badly?  Were you "pushed" into an emotional response that placed you in a less than favorable light?  Did this response seem to bring satisfaction to your abuser?  Did he or she gain sympathy or affirmation from others because of your upset?  Were you "baited," into confrontations that ultimately left you very visibly shaken, angry, scared, or feeling out of control?  Afterward, were you left confused and wondering what just happened?  Worse, yet, were you then accused of being "crazy" or "abusive" by your abuser?  Did the events ever cause you to question yourself? If you are or were involved with a psycho …

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Co-parenting with a sociopath: An environment of distrust (The Headless Bear)

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When I first became exposed to the term "co-parenting", I remember having a visceral reaction.  I was sitting in the three hour court mandated co-parenting class, breaking into a sweat, and having what felt like a full on panic attack as the woman leading the class showed slides of "parenting schedules."  'How in hell was I going to co-parent with a man who was capable of such terrible things,' I thought as I tried to get myself under enough control to not look like a crazy woman.  At the beginning of the class, the leaders made a point to tell everyone to disregard most of what was being said if you were in a situation with abuse/domestic violence. For some reason, this statement made me …

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