How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Mourning the man who never was (because he is a psychopath)

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Before I had children, I always dreamed that my children would have a wonderful relationship with both me and their father.   Given the close relationship that I have with my father, I could never have imagined a situation where I would NOT want my child's father to have access to him/her.  (Until now, of course) Here is a quick example of how I felt about my father as a child and why I dreamed for my child to have the same: (This conversation took place as my father was tying my shoes.) Young Cappuccino Queen (circa age 5):  Daddy, when I grow up can I marry you? My father (holding back laughter):  No baby girl, I am already married to your mother. Cappuccino Queen:  But Daddy, I …

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Woman tells her story of marriage to radio personality Jeff Rense

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Melinda Jane Kellogg holds a Ph.D. in physics. Jeff Rense has an alternative radio program. Kellogg listened to the program for more than two years, and then, on Rense's birthday, sent him a "Happy Birthday" email. He responded, they corresponded, they visited, they married. It didn't turn out as Kellogg expected, and she tells the whole story—complete with documentation—on her website. Visit Melinda Jane Kellogg Link supplied by two Lovefraud readers. UPDATE: More of the story is available on HenryMakow.com.  …

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Law enforcement sacrifices victims so they can build a case

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Back in June, a mother and daughter from Colorado, Tracy Vasseur, 40, and Karen Vasseur, 73, were charged with helping unknown Nigerian bosses take money from women in an elaborate online dating scam. More than $1 million was stolen from 374 unsuspecting women in 40 different countries. In the scheme, unknown scammers posing as members of the U.S. Armed Forces pursued online romances with victims they met on dating sites and Facebook. The scammers "proved" their identities with fake military documents and personal photos, and eventually start asking for money for "satellite phones," or so the "soldier" could travel to meet the victim. The Vasseurs acted as military "agents" to collect …

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Can narcissists become leaders?

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An article in Harvard Business Review says that narcissists make poor leaders. I'd agree with that. Then the article claims that through mentorship, companies can transform high-achievers with narcissistic traits into quality leaders. What do you think? Is it possible? Read: Narcissism: The difference between high achievers and leaders, on blogs.HBR.org. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader. …

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I’m addicted to him

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Editor's note: The following was posted as a comment by the Lovefraud reader "Zootowngirl." She eloquently expressed ideas that many other readers can certainly understand. I read the articles and comments posted on Lovefraud.com and I see my life, or parts of it, described over and over again. I see things my ex did (or didn't do) written in the words of other people. I see myself in their stories. Often I find myself thinking, “Thank God my experience wasn't that bad or that long,” and other times I nod my head in silent, humiliated understanding that comes with first hand knowledge of the horror stories people share. My ex has the most beautiful soul. He is kind and compassionate and …

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When the emotionally abused “behave badly”

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Has the emotionally abusive individual in your life ever "encouraged" you to behave badly?  Were you "pushed" into an emotional response that placed you in a less than favorable light?  Did this response seem to bring satisfaction to your abuser?  Did he or she gain sympathy or affirmation from others because of your upset?  Were you "baited," into confrontations that ultimately left you very visibly shaken, angry, scared, or feeling out of control?  Afterward, were you left confused and wondering what just happened?  Worse, yet, were you then accused of being "crazy" or "abusive" by your abuser?  Did the events ever cause you to question yourself? If you are or were involved with a psycho …

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Co-parenting with a sociopath: An environment of distrust (The Headless Bear)

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When I first became exposed to the term "co-parenting", I remember having a visceral reaction.  I was sitting in the three hour court mandated co-parenting class, breaking into a sweat, and having what felt like a full on panic attack as the woman leading the class showed slides of "parenting schedules."  'How in hell was I going to co-parent with a man who was capable of such terrible things,' I thought as I tried to get myself under enough control to not look like a crazy woman.  At the beginning of the class, the leaders made a point to tell everyone to disregard most of what was being said if you were in a situation with abuse/domestic violence. For some reason, this statement made me …

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Keep Shining, Beautiful Ones

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This week I saw a quote on Facebook that spoke to me loud and clear “Keep shining, beautiful ones. This world needs your light” — because it immediately made me think of everyone here on Lovefraud. I imagined each and every beautiful person who reads and contributes to the site, and as I did so, my heart warmed and prompted a smile”¦ and moist eyes. Why did I think of this community? Because I truly believe that our experiences ultimately help all of us to shine more brightly as a result. At the same time, I fully appreciate that this notion may still seem to many to be a long way off, or even an impossibility to some people here — perhaps that was what prompted the tears? Well, that toget …

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Do we really just stand by and let these people hurt others?

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Last week I heard from a woman who realized that her work supervisor was probably disordered. The Lovefraud reader was hired by a school system to work one-on-one with a special needs child, but what she was directed to do made no sense. When she asked the school district's "professionals" about the "therapy," since, in her experience, it was inappropriate for the child's needs, they seemed uncomfortable and never really answered her. The supervisor, in the meantime, became belligerent. The Lovefraud reader saw that the supervisor was controlling, the professionals were intimidated, and the child was not receiving the right care. The Lovefraud reader was so upset that she took medical …

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