Researchers say that many people commit fraud unintentionally. And, they commit fraud not because they're greedy, but because they're nice! Great now sociopaths will say they're only being nice! Read Psychology of fraud: Why good people do bad things, on NPR.org. So how will the researchers explain this? Three Shoreline women charged with defrauding victims of more than $1 million in exclusive 'Gifting Club' pyramid scheme, on Courant.com. Links supplied by a Lovefraud reader. …
Comparing our losses to the losses of others
By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired) One of the things I have heard from victims of psychopaths here at Lovefraud, seemingly over and over, is that people compare their losses to my losses and Donna's losses and Dr. Liane Leedom's losses, etc. and think that their losses don't “count” because they haven't lost X, Y, or Z and we did. They seem to think that because I lost a child, or Liane lost her medical practice, or Donna lost a quarter of a million dollars, that they are not entitled to feel as injured as we were/are. The people expressing this somehow seem to have “survivor's guilt” about feeling so devastated when their losses were somehow “less.” Or they feel that we are somehow “sup …
When all the world’s a stage: personas and psychopathy
By Linda Hartoonian Almas, M.S. Ed To psychopaths, life is often like a series of stage plays. They are like the play actors and they tend to keep themselves very busy, working in a variety of different productions. When they exhaust the audience pool in one venue, they move to the next. It is important to note that they may work many productions at the same time, as well. Unlike other actors, psychopaths do not worry about being type-cast. They may play evil villains on one stage and sweet, loving, misunderstood victims on the next. However, we must realize that they are just acting. In the theatres of life, psychopaths may showcase a variety of personas. What is a pers …
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Learning To Trust Again
Well — what a week it's been! Last Wednesday I received the all-clear from my biopsy, and what a massive relief it was”¦ So massive that I hadn't fully understood how much I had been stressing over the whole episode. Yes, I know, it's only natural to feel anxious over the potential of discovering a life-threatening illness, but I hadn't appreciated just how much I'd been holding in, boxing off, pushing away so that I could deal with life on a day-to-day basis. It took a good couple of days for the good news to sink in, and since then I've felt more ”˜alive' and full of beans than I have done for a long time. It's only now that I'm feeling lighter and brighter, that I realize just how tense …
Differentiating the sociopath from the borderline from the narcissist
Man, it's not easy out there. Your partner clearly has a major personality disturbance, but sometimes separating borderline, narcissistic and sociopathic behavior can be hard. Real tough. Especially when there are spill-over behaviors, cross-contaminating behaviors and attitudes (as there often are) that further muddy the diagnostic waters. Let's look at rage, for instance. Rage is a major marker of the borderline and narcissistic personality. Sociopaths, being essentially malignant, high-end narcissists, like any full-blown narcissist, are also capable of frightful, bullying, abusive rages. The borderline's rage, much like the narcissist's, tends to be elicted by disappoinment. And it's …
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The sociopathic syndrome
I recently heard from a man, whom we'll call "Jeff," who wanted to know if the woman he was involved with, "Amanda," was a sociopath. It started as a friendly involvement, with Jeff trying to help Amanda out. Amanda, who was from a foreign country, called Jeff her "best friend." Jeff eventually started to have feelings for her. But then came a series of unsettling experiences: Amanda made pornographic videos, which were posted on the Internet. Amanda worked as an escort. Jeff offered to pay her rent, so she wouldn't have to be an escort, and Amanda agreed—and continued being an escort anyway. Then Jeff asked Amanda to sign a contract promising that she wouldn't be an escort. She s …
Born bad
Two young girls adopted by a loving British couple took after their criminal biological mother. For the adoptive parents, it was a disaster. Read When Cherry adopted these 'angelic' sisters she thought a loving home would heal the wounds of their troubled past. how terrifyingly wrong she was, on DailyMail.co.uk. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader. …
The Red Flags of dysfunction
Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired) After reading Donna's newest book on the 10 Red Flags of spotting psychopaths, I got to thinking that there are Red Flags in our own lives that we should also take notice of and avoid. When we first start the “journey toward healing,” and I do think it is a journey, not a destination, we have to learn the things about ourselves that we need to change in order to live a healthy life, one free of psychopaths and other abusers. Our journey started out in learning the behavior of the psychopaths and abusers so we could spot these people who will not change their bad behavior, but it ends up being learning about ourselves, and how our own behavior contributed t …
LETTERS TO LOVE FRAUD: When life ain’t fair
Editor's Note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader called “Adelade.” Her previous post is "This is the time for me to learn who I am." I'm having a really tough time, these days. The divorce hearing is coming down to the wire, and I am very fearful that the sociopath ex-husband is going to walk away from his crimes, unscathed. Last week, I had a discussion with someone whose husband is an attorney. She works in his office whenever she can to help him with his busy practice. We were discussing the facts of my divorce, and she said several things that caused a mild onset of anxiety, but I began to cogitate about the US and State legal systems that have not been ove …
When the sociopath isn’t wearing a mask
The concept of the sociopath as “masking sanity,” originally from Hervey Cleckley, MD, and since as confirmed and elaborated by other experts, is certainly chilling, great, profound and often-times apt. But I'd suggest we be careful not to apply it too indiscriminately. In other words, not all sociopaths “wear masks” in the classic sense of Cleckley's concept. For this reason, if you're looking for “masks” as a prerequisite to confirming the sociopath, you risk missing the sociopath. Some sociopaths are more manifestly who they are—sociopaths. They aren't “masking” much of anything. They aren't necessarily taking brilliant precautions to conceal themselves. Like many human beings the …