Dr. Dorothy McCoy, a licensed professional counselor and psychotherapist, has developed online quizzes to help you figure out if you are dating a psychopath or narcissist. The behaviors identified by the quizzes will certainly look familiar to Lovefraud readers. Psychopath Quiz Narcissist Quiz …
More on powerful men behaving badly
John Edwards has joined the parade. The former North Carolina senator and presidential candidate was indicted last week for using campaign contributions to keep his mistress and their baby in hiding during his 2008 run for the White House. He follows former California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, who admitted fathering a child with a member of his household staff, and Dominique Strauss-Kahn, who had to resign as head of the International Monetary Fund after he allegedly tried to rape a hotel maid in New York City. A lot of people are asking, why do they do it? Why are these rich, powerful men willing to chance ruining everything they have achieved for momentary pleasure? Psychology …
Powerful men and sexual impropriety
Time magazine writes about Dominique Strauss-Kahn, accused of assaulting a hotel maid in New York City, Arnold Schwarzenegger's child with an employee, and how society views powerful men taking advantage of women. Read Sex, lies, arrogance: What makes powerful men behave so badly? on Time.com. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader. …
Society for the Scientific Study of Psychopathy, meeting highlights: Researching victimization
Having spent time listening to many psychopathy researchers, I can attest to many times coming away with the feeling that very critical insights are being missed. An appreciation for the bigger picture just isn't there yet. For me the bigger picture always includes the family. A sociopath may prey on strangers, but usually that is after a lifetime of practice on family members. The reason this piece is so critical is that the personality disorder, psychopathy is a pervasive disorder of human social behavior that affects every relationship the disordered person has. Considering what this disorder actually is- a pervasive disorder of human social behavior, the perspective of family members …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: He is forbidding me to see my son
Editor's note: Below is an email exchange that I had with a reader whom we'll call “Vera.” Her ex-husband is a sociopath and a lawyer. I am co-parenting with a sociopath and I am at my wits end. He is constantly using our son in his ongoing battle to torment me. The boy is still in elementary school and spends time with him alone at his mountain home. I am concerned that besides being emotionally abused as he is, he will be physically harmed. I am in a terrible bind though. Being a lawyer and a sociopath, he conned his way into custody by paying over $100,000 to hire the best divorce lawyer in town. Without a six-figure retainer or his manifest abuse of our son, I cannot amend the custody …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: He is forbidding me to see my sonRead More
The special problem of the “sort of” sociopath
We tend to speak of sociopaths versus non-sociopaths in pretty much either-or terms, despite recognizing that we fall along a spectrum of behaviors and attitudes that range from extremely unself-centered (even to self-sabotaging levels, reflecting poor self-esteem and weak self-protective defenses); to levels we would describe as dangerously exploitive (moving into the range of full-blown sociopathic personality, characterized by a troubling indifference to, and disregard of, others as separate human beings whose dignity deserves to be respected). At bottom, as I have elsewhere written and stressed, the sociopath is a remorseless, chronic boundary violator; his regard for others' dignity …
After the sociopath: Being heard, being validated
Last week I posted two articles related to the Vienna Presbyterian Church in Vienna, Virginia. Between 2001 and 2005, as many as a dozen teenage girls may have suffered sexual, emotional and spiritual abuse from a church youth director. This year, the youth director was long gone, but church leaders felt that the wounds had not be properly addressed and healed. So a few months ago, the pastor and church issued a public apology. Lawyers for the church's insurance company warned the church not to accept responsibility for the failings of the youth director. Doing so, the insurance company said, would jeopardize the church's coverage in case a lawsuit was filed. The Vienna Presbyterian …
Donna Andersen and Dr. Liane Leedom present research at psychopathy conference
Dr. Liane Leedom and I spent last weekend, May 19-21, at the 4th Biennial Meeting of the Society for the Scientific Study of Psychopathy in Montreal, Canada. Approximately 200 people were at the conference, including the biggest names in psychopathy research: Robert Hare, Paul Babiak, Paul J. Frick, Kent Kiehl, David Kosson, Joseph Newman, Christopher J. Patrick, and many, many more. Also in attendance were graduate students and researchers from all over the world—nine different countries were represented. It was an opportunity to learn about the latest research going on in the field. A total of 46 researchers made 15-minute oral presentations of their work. An additional 91 g …
Donna Andersen and Dr. Liane Leedom present research at psychopathy conferenceRead More
Vienna Presbyterian Church gets it right with abuse scandal
Last week Lovefraud posted an article about the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Philadelphia and its evasive response, or nonresponse, to claims of clergy sex abuse. It was actually written by a member of the church review board, who was as dismayed as many of the faithful. Read Criticizing bishops in the Philadelphia clergy abuse scandal. The Vienna Presbyterian Church in Vienna, Virginia, faced a similar situation when a youth director maintained inappropriate relationships with multiple teenage girls. Eric De Vries infiltrated their lives and manipulated the girls into what they thought were mutual romantic relationships. They said he drew them in as a trusted mentor, friend and …
Vienna Presbyterian Church gets it right with abuse scandalRead More
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Part 2–“You have to start acting better”
Editor's note: This is the completion of Lovefraud's e-mail from “robxsykobabe.” The beginning was posted yesterday: Part 1—Giving him the benefit of the doubt. He contacted me April 13th, 2010. Three days before his son's 11th birthday. I didn't respond as he “dangled the carrot” with texting me simply, “I wish”¦” Yeah, it was a game. I didn't contact him because I felt sick to my stomach and severe panic after receiving it. I waited”¦and he didn't contact me again. And I responded”¦and so the story goes. We met and I was LESS than pleased. This was NOT the reunion where we embraced each other and kissed long, sultry kisses. It was the kind of meeting you'd see in a movie and expect a …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Part 2–“You have to start acting better”Read More