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Is the guy trying to pick you up really a soldier?
Cases of wannabes pretending to be military heroes are rampant. This article offers some tips on spotting if the soldier is really a fake. Be sure to read the comments for additional perspective. An officer, gentleman and a total fake!!! on MyWingmanDiana.Military.com. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader. Here's more info on Lovefraud.com: Is he or she military? …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: None of us stood a chance if I didn’t get out
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader who we'll call “Laurel.” She married Frank as a teenager and had five children with him. Her oldest, Amy, is 19 in the story and married to Matt. Her son, Andy, is 14. Names have been changed. I knew I was leaving. I had been plotting for months, since my first few tastes of TRUE freedom and being around normal people, that I was getting myself and my children out. I had been saving and accumulating paperwork, solid proof of income for months. Keeping it safe and duplicating everything. One morning I walked into Frank's bedroom to give him his coffee and do whatever bidding he had in mind on his IPad, when it occ …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: None of us stood a chance if I didn’t get outRead More
Once we know what they are–we must maintain No Contact
By Ox Drover One of the themes that seems to run throughout the stories of many of, if not most of, the people who have had experiences with psychopaths is that we have either had repeated episodes of being abused by the same psychopath, even after we saw their dishonesty, or had episodes of being sucked into the webs of multiple psychopaths. Or, we have both of these—multiple episodes with multiple psychopaths. Most of the people I have known who were formerly victims of psychopaths are not stupid. In fact, some of the smartest, most accomplished people I know are former victims, and have been repeatedly victimized by one psychopath after finding out that this person was dishonest and …
Once we know what they are–we must maintain No ContactRead More
Pain connections, emotional and physical
New research shows that emotional and physical pain draw responses from the same regions of the brain. Read To the brain, getting burned, getting dumped feel the same, on CNN.com. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader. …
Sociopaths change our beliefs about being human
Lovefraud received the following e-mail recently from a reader, who we'll call “Iris.” She was married for 20 years to a man who she now realizes is a sociopath. I avoid talking to my ex-husband as much as possible, but he is 4 months behind on court ordered spousal support as I am in school getting my business degree and working. He has to pay $600 a month for 3 years. The court also ordered the support to pay me back for $11,000 I had to put into our house and property to make it "sellable" after he left me in the dust and moved to another state. He left me with 5 acres, a house falling apart, a barn with code violations, and our 3 family dogs. I went into survival mode and got it all fix …
Being a “judgmental person” is more than okay–it is wise
By Ox Drover Many people think of the term “judging others” in a negative way. I think a lot of this comes from the Biblical admonition found in which Jesus said, “Do not judge, or you too will be judged” (Matthew 7:1). Matthew 7:2-5 says, "For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” What Jesus was condemning here was hypocritical, self-righteous judgments of others. I frequently hear others say, “Well, I'm not judging him ”¦” when they talk about how someone they know has done something that is less than morally upright. When I was a young person in this community of mostly Scots-Irish Protestants, people were fr …
Being a “judgmental person” is more than okay–it is wiseRead More
What was your turning point?
Lovefraud received the following e-mail from a woman whose daughter is caught in the web of a sociopath. The woman and her husband are not enabling the relationship—the sociopath, of course, wants money. They are hoping and praying that their daughter will escape. Here is her question to other Lovefaud readers: What was the "turning point," "awakening moment," "realization point," that woke them up OUT of the fog, the gaslighting, etc., and what made them realize they needed to RUN, to get away from their sociopaths? What finally "did it," what finally "broke the camel's back?" Where they realized what was happening to them, had been done to them, when they finally realized things were …
BOOK REVIEWS: Looking at love and fraud from both sides
By Ox Drover I just finished reading the dueling autobiographies of the disgraced former governor of New Jersey, James E. McGreevey, and his ex-wife, Dino Matos McGreevey. His book is called The Confession and hers is called Silent Partner. Former Governor McGreevey, as you may remember, publicly announced in 2004 that he was resigning as governor of New Jersey because he was being blackmailed by a former homosexual lover. As he pronounced to the world that he was a “gay American,” as he styled himself, his then-wife, Dina Matos McGreevey, stood beside him with a stricken deer-in-the-head-lights look. Many times we get a book from one or the other of two aggrieved parties that sur …
BOOK REVIEWS: Looking at love and fraud from both sidesRead More
The Sociopath as “The Missing Link?”
Is it possible that the sociopath is, in a sense, the missing link? Who is he? He is human but, in another sense, not quite human. Much like the Neandarthals, who were humans but not quite homo sapiens, and whom you'd have had a hard time differentiating from homo sapiens in a crowd, the sociopath may mix in seamlessly with the more fully developed human race. Meaning, like the Neandarthal race of humans, he isn't noticeably different, at least not by appearances, from his fellow homo sapiens. And yet he is different”¦he is missing something. There is something primitive and underdeveloped in him. This is a very crude analogy, admittedly. Neandarthals weren't more sociopath than their f …