Sitting with an antisocial or sociopathic client is an interesting experience—for a while, anyway, until it grows tedious”¦almost boring. There is the initial curiosity about, and fascination with, the client's antisocial behaviors”¦their nature”¦breadth. Perhaps there's even a certain rubbernecking interest in the train-wreck of moral turpitude these clients present—with their staggering patterns of ethical and moral debaseness. Admittedly, it can be breathtaking, on certain levels, to behold the magnitude of their abuse of others' boundaries and dignity, accompanied by missing feelings of accountability and remorse. And the interest in the experience with such clients persists a bit l …
Donna Andersen on Upfront & Straightforward radio show Feb. 10
I'll be a guest on the Upfront & Straightforward with Alan Roger Currie radio show tomorrow night. The topic: Romantic Sociopaths, Con Artists and Psychopaths. I will discuss "10 Signs that you're dating a sociopath," along with other issues related to these social predators. The show is on Blog Talk Radio, so you can listen to it on your computer. It starts at 10 p.m. EST I'll be on from 10:15 p.m. EST to 11:25 p.m. EST. Here's a link: Romantic Sociopaths, Con Artists and Psychopaths This is a call-in show, so if you have a question, feel free to join the conversation. The phone number is 646-478-5710. UPDATE: The show is archived on Blog Talk Radio—to listen, just click the …
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LOVEFRAUD TO THE NEXT LEVEL: Here’s why we need to educate high school students
I'll be presenting information about sociopaths to students in two New Jersey high schools next month. A blog posted recently on Women Explode reminds me why I am doing this. Although the author referred to the callous boy she was with as a "Psychotic Frog," he doesn't sound delusional. He sounds like a classic sociopath. At least she escaped, and the story has a happy ending. Read Psychotic Frog on WomenExplode.com. …
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Find meaning in the betrayal
Editor's note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. Lovefraud recently received the following e-mail from a reader who posts as “lostgirl.” I fell hopelessly in love with (read as I would have given him my real heart and died for him) a sociopath/psychopath. Skip the details. I am four years divorced. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't grieve the loss of the relationship I thought I had. I cognitively know that the person I married was not who I thought he was and I even believe I know how he came to be. Unfortunately, I have never felt anger, only sadness for what I viewed as the person he could hav …
BOOK REVIEW: A Mind of Its Own
By Ox Drover I recently read A Mind of Its Own—How Your Brain Distorts and Deceives, by Cordelia Fine, Ph.D. Dr. Fine was awarded a degree in experimental psychology from Oxford University, an M.Phil. in criminology from Cambridge University, and a Ph.D. in psychology from University College in London. She is currently a research associate at the Centre for Applied Philosophy and Public Ethics at the University of Melbourne in Australia. This book is very entertaining and as the book jacket says, In recent years, we've heard a lot about the extraordinary workings of our hundred-billion-celled brain: its amazing capacities to regulate sensation, perception, thinking, and feeling, its a …
Almost drowning with the con man Andrew J. Harper
Editor's note: Andrew J. Harper, who conned multiple women in Australia, was sentenced yesterday to nine months in jail. Here's what we hear from one of his victims, Rochelle Fisher. "Rebecca Bell was there, she said the magistrate gave him an absolute drilling, and was not falling for any of his crap. She said the fact that the victims had children made him very angry. "Also, his lawyer said that he didn't get any financial gain from his victims, that they were along for the ride and enjoyed it, like staying in hotels etc. And the magistrate said 'Yes, but, they would not have paid it if he had told the truth.' "He has been ordered to pay back 22k to victims and hotels, but there …
The Marriage Masks: Three types of sociopathic relationships
Here at Lovefraud, we've heard thousands of horror stories of marriages to sociopaths. Thinking about these unfortunate involvements, it seems to me that there are three types of romantic relationships with sociopaths. I call them the Marriage Masks, and they are: 1. Calculated exploitation The sociopath targets an individual for the explicit purpose of exploiting him or her, using the unsuspecting partner for money, sex, a place to live or something else that the sociopath wants. My ex-husband, James Montgomery, targeted me because I had what he wanted: money, good credit, my own home and business connections in the city where he decided he was going to make a fortune. He sweet …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Recovering from the con man
Editor's note: Andrew J. Harper wasn't who he said he was. He wasn't a professional drag racer and he didn't own properties in Europe. But at least 17 women in Australia, New Zealand and the United States believed him—and many lost money because they did. Two of his victims, Diana Mors, who posts on Lovefraud as “AJH_Victim1,” and Rebecca Bell, worked together to find the truth, and the con man was finally arrested in October, 2010. The women told their story in the January 2011 issue of The Australian Woman's Weekly, and then in the North West Star. Read: ”˜How I caught a con man' on NorthWestStar.com.au With the publicity, the women have been contacted by many victim …
Lack of remorse more significant of sociopathy than lack of empathy?
Sometimes I like to revisit, churn all over again, a prior concern around sociopathy. A number of colleagues were recently stressing the defective quality of empathy in the more sociopathic clients they work with, while I found myself stressing the quality of remorselessness in the more sociopathic clients with whom I work (and have worked). In my view, remorselessness is a much more serious indicator of sociopathy than lack of empathy per se. I know I've stated this in previous pieces, but well”¦here I go all over again. Many people lack empathy for a great many reasons, depending on how one even defines empathy. But clearly this is true—many of us have a relatively difficult time emot …
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The tangents and the point
Editor's note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. Love Fraud: How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan, is a long, expansive story, and there's a reason for its complexity. The reason is in the book's subtitle. Love Fraud tells the story of my marriage to a sociopathic con artist. It's a juicy, outrageous tale, full jaw-dropping lies and manipulation. The book focuses a harsh light on the despicable behavior of my ex-husband, James Montgomery. My goal is to give people an up close and personal look at what it's really like to be targeted by a sociopath. But that isn't my only goal. I believe the …