My book, Love Fraud, has quite a cast of characters. Besides me and my con artist ex-husband, there are seven other women who he victimized, assorted friends, family and business associates, my new husband, three psychics, a channeler, an energy healer, and seven pets. Why did I include the pets? To illustrate the point that all of life is connected. We are all part of the same universal consciousness. The pets came into my life for a reason—to accompany me through my struggles. In fact, it was with my dog, Beau, that I first ventured into the feeling realm of love. My dog offered me what is so often difficult to find among the humans in our lives—unconditional love. His love was safe to e …
Blame the victim fallacies
Victims have a certain way of walking, and psychopaths can spot it. That's the conclusion two bloggers for Psychology Today reached, based on a scientific study released last year. The study, Psychopathic traits and perceptions of victim vulnerability, was authored by Sarah Wheeler, Angela Book and Kimberly Costello of Brock University. The abstract states: The purpose of this study was to determine whether individuals scoring higher on psychopathic traits would be better able to judge vulnerability to victimization after viewing short clips of targets walking. Participants provided a vulnerability estimate for each target and completed the Self-Report Psychopathy Scale: Version III …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Complaint against the magistrate
Editor's note: The Lovefraud reader who writes as "Aussiegirl" will be in court on December 6, 2010, seeking an extension of the Violence Restraining Order that she has against her ex-husband. She was already in court On October 18, 2010, because her ex had violated the existing order. The magistrate didn't take Aussiegirl seriously, and she's lodged the following complaint against him. Aussiegirl asks for your moral support during her next court date. I write in relation to the conduct of a Magistrate who tried my ex-husband for a breach to a Violence Restraining Order (VRO) at the **** Courthouse on Monday 18th October this year. My complaint is not about the judicial decision reached …
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Genetically prone to cheating
People who have a particular gene, scientists have found, are more likely to cheat on a romantic partner. Read The love-cheat gene: One in four born to be unfaithful, claim scientists on DailyMail.co.uk. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader. …
1001 Things I Did Wrong In Dealing with a Psychopath
By Ox Drover After reading Steve Becker's article yesterday, I commented that most of the articles here on Lovefraud that could be entitled “1001 Things I Did Wrong in Dealing with a Psychopath” were the ones that applied most to my own dealings with them. That was meant as a joke, but after I left that comment for Steve, I got to thinking about how right-on it was, joke or not, because I have done so much wrong in dealing with these people. I got my self deeper and deeper into trouble, doing the wrong things in interacting with them. Not that I was intentionally doing something mean or “wrong” per se, but I didn't make choices that led to positive outcomes in dealing with the psychop …
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Clinically Sitting With The Sociopath
It's disconcerting, no question about it, working with someone who's antisocial, with real sociopathic qualities (forgetting, again, for the moment, the hell of living with such an individual). Recently, I'm struck again, in my work with a client I'll call Howard, by the brew of certain qualities, certain attitudes, certain defenses that strike me as forming a rather sociopathic orientation. Howard is 19. He understands the suffering he's causing others in his life: he can “talk the talk,” meaning that he “gets it” on a cognitive level. He can say, for instance, quite accurately, what he's doing, why it's wrong, that it's wrong, even that he feels bad about it. How badly he really fe …
No more narcissists in the DSM 5
Earlier in the year, Lovefraud submitted a comment giving our views on the draft of the new Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the American Psychiatric Association, DSM 5. We commented on the proposed new term for antisocial personality disorder, "antisocial/psychopathic type," and the diagnostic criteria. One of the changes that the DSM 5 committee proposed was eliminating the diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder. According to an article in the New York Times, not everyone is happy about it. Read A fate that narcissists will hate: being ignored on NYTimes.com. …
Sociopaths target our dreams
Lovefraud recently received the following e-mail. In it, I felt like I was reading a rerun of my experience. I was involved with one of those 1 to 4% sociopaths/scammers you've outlined in your website. I lost everything — Long story — you already know it — he was so charming — the love of my life — kind generous, giving, very sexy in and out of bed — Anyways, it's been just over 3 yrs (I was only with him 2 + yrs with a 3-month breakup period. Yep I took him back — Call me a LOSER now and hit the delete button — Wait, please don't.) and I'm living in a mobile home park. Not any of the three properties I had on a golf course. Sold two of them and the third is heading for foreclosure. …
RESOURCE PERSPECTIVES: How sociopaths mess with your head
Editor's note: Resource Perspectives features articles written by members of Lovefraud's Professional Resources Guide. Sarah Strudwick, based in the UK, is author of Dark Souls—Healing and recovering from toxic relationships. She has also created a wonderful animation that describes the antics of a sociopath, called Exposing the Mask of Insanity. View the animation here. Getting your head out of the washing machine By Sarah Strudwick Sarah Strudwick profile in the Lovefraud Professional Resources Guide I often receive emails from people asking me to talk about different subjects. One recent subject was the mind-bogglingly creative ways in which a sociopath will literally mess w …
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Researchers minimize the psychopathy problem
Here's the headline for the cover story in the September/October issue of Scientific American Mind magazine: Inside the mind of a psychopath Neuroscientists are discovering that some of the most cold-blooded killers aren't bad. They suffer from a brain abnormality that sets them adrift in an emotionless world. The authors of the article are Kent A. Kiehl and Joshua W. Buckholtz. Dr. Kiehl is the researcher who examines the brains of psychopaths in prison using fMRI technology. Lovefraud wrote about him before in Psychopaths, crime and choice. This latest article, Inside the mind of a psychopath, is an excellent overview of the personality disorder. It summarizes the characteristics …