How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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New research shows single parenthood blamed for problems caused by sociopathy

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New research confirms something I have long suspected: There is a relationship between single parenthood and sociopathy that explains problems found in young people. Before I describe the research I have to give some background. Sociopathy is a set of personality traits that group together. These traits are also largely responsible for addiction and alcoholism. To read more about the connection between antisocial personality traits, addiction and alcoholism, see The Inner Triangle helps you understand sociopaths, psychopaths, addicts and alcoholics. I believe that people with sociopathic personality traits likely create many of the single parent families in Western countries. The problem …

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Psychopaths use our best qualities against us

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I am a person with a very strong sense of responsibility. If I make a commitment to do something, I honor my commitment. Generally, being responsible is considered a positive quality. But it is the quality that made me stay with my psychopathic ex-husband far longer than I should have. I knew he was taking money from me. I knew he was lying to me (although I vastly underestimated the extent of his deception). I didn't love him anymore. So why did I stay? I had married him, and to me, marriage was a commitment. I've written before about how psychopaths find our weaknesses and exploit them. The scary truth is that they also exploit our strengths. Nurturing qualities It takes a special …

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ASK DR. LEEDOM: How can I get my ____ away from the psychopathic con artist?”

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This week I will propose a strategy for helping a family member break free from a con artist/sociopath. The conclusions I have come to about how best to do this are based on the information regarding the techniques these people employ that I explained last week in Coercive persuasion, mind control and brain washing. Sociopaths establish control over a person little by little, BITE by BITE. Remember, BITE stands for behavior, information, thoughts and emotions. To help your loved one, you have to BITE back. Take a look at the situation and see how you can gently facilitate your loved one gaining back autonomy over his/her daily behavior. Try to always appear affirming and loving so that it …

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What is a sociopath feeling?

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Lovefraud recently received the following letter from a reader: "I am trying to understand what the sociopath is feeling. Do they feel love? Do they love? What hurts a sociopath? How can you communicate with a sociopath?" The problem in dealing with a sociopath, or psychopath, is that they are fundamentally different from the rest of us. The extent of their difference is truly difficult to comprehend—until you've had a close encounter with one of them. Let's look at these questions individually. Do they feel love? The short answer is no. In order to feel love, a person must be able to feel empathy. Sociopaths do not feel empathy for other people. Those of us who are c …

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Coercive persuasion, mind control and brain washing

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Over the last six months we have received many letters from desperate family members asking, “How can I get my ____ away from the psychopathic con artist?” What family members are really asking for is advice on how to overcome the brain washing of a loved one. When answering these kinds of questions, I like to provide some scientific evidence validating my point of view. Unfortunately, a search of the scientific literature, using the terms coercive persuasion, brain washing and mind control, does not reveal much. This week I will share some of what I have come to understand about how one person can assume control over another. Next week I will discuss how to overcome mind control by a psy …

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Sociopaths, at first, don’t act like jerks

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When I first met my ex-husband, James Montgomery, whom I now believe is a sociopath, he treated me like gold. His attentiveness started with our initial e-mail correspondence. Yes, we met via the Internet, but he lived nearby—I wasn't worried about the pitfalls of a long-distance relationship. During our three weeks of preliminary correspondence—his notes were clever and well-written—he made it clear that he was interested in me. When we did meet, Montgomery was attentive, charming and entertaining. He asked questions and listened to my answers. He was quick to pay me compliments. Yes, he talked about himself a lot, but he was intelligent and intriguing, so I didn't mind—I felt like I was g …

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ASK DR. LEEDOM: Have you considered exorcism as a treatment for sociopathy?

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Editor's note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. Recently a reader wrote asking this question regarding evil and sociopaths. Have you considered exorcism as treatment for psychopaths/narcissists? I have come to firmly believe these people - even the ones under-the-radar legally- are effected/infected by evil. As a practicing Catholic, I feel as if I have been targeted specifically. I realize you do not know me and that such claims are bizarre, but I know you have called psychopathy evil-so I wonder if you have considered what can be done spiritually? There is no doubt in my mind that the Bible makes references …

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The right question in Newark killings: Is he a psychopath?

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Three college students were brutally murdered, and a fourth left for dead, in Newark, New Jersey on August 4. The three students were forced to kneel in front of a brick wall in a school playground, then shot, execution-style, in the back of the head. The three young victims, Terrance Aeriel, 18; Iofemi Hightower, 20; and Dashon Harvey, 20; as well as the lone survivor, Natasha Aeriel, 19; were universally described as "good kids." None had police records. Terrance Aeriel was an ordained minister. New Jersey news commentator Steve Adubato wrote about Terrance in his column today. Adubato personally knew the young man. Adubato is a mentor in a program called "Stand and Deliver: …

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New study finds conduct disordered boys are just like their fathers

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Although fearlessness is not part of the formal definition of psychopathy or DSM IV antisocial personality disorder (ASPD), it is widely recognized that this temperamental attribute is part of these disorders as well as their childhood precursors, oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) and conduct disorder (CD). Thankfully, not all fearless individuals are sociopaths but it appears that fearlessness is present in varying degrees in everyone with these disorders. (Interestingly some sociopaths do show anxiety. The exact relationship between anxiety and fearlessness is not completely understood.) Fearlessness is a good trait to study because the trait reflects the function of specific brain …

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GPS tracking of sex offenders and batterers

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Last week, the state of New Jersey established a permanent program to monitor convicted sex offenders with GPS (global positioning system) technology. For the past two years, New Jersey has had a pilot program in which 156 "high-risk" sex offenders were tracked with GPS devices. The program was set to expire, but the legislators passed a law, which the governor signed, to make it permanent. In a previous post, Sexually violent predators, Lovefraud noted that sex offenders who are diagnosed as psychopaths are likely to offend again. One study found that within six years of release from prison, 80% of psychopathic sex offenders committed additional offenses, compared to only 20% of …

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