How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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The right question in Newark killings: Is he a psychopath?

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Three college students were brutally murdered, and a fourth left for dead, in Newark, New Jersey on August 4. The three students were forced to kneel in front of a brick wall in a school playground, then shot, execution-style, in the back of the head. The three young victims, Terrance Aeriel, 18; Iofemi Hightower, 20; and Dashon Harvey, 20; as well as the lone survivor, Natasha Aeriel, 19; were universally described as "good kids." None had police records. Terrance Aeriel was an ordained minister. New Jersey news commentator Steve Adubato wrote about Terrance in his column today. Adubato personally knew the young man. Adubato is a mentor in a program called "Stand and Deliver: …

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New study finds conduct disordered boys are just like their fathers

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Although fearlessness is not part of the formal definition of psychopathy or DSM IV antisocial personality disorder (ASPD), it is widely recognized that this temperamental attribute is part of these disorders as well as their childhood precursors, oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) and conduct disorder (CD). Thankfully, not all fearless individuals are sociopaths but it appears that fearlessness is present in varying degrees in everyone with these disorders. (Interestingly some sociopaths do show anxiety. The exact relationship between anxiety and fearlessness is not completely understood.) Fearlessness is a good trait to study because the trait reflects the function of specific brain …

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GPS tracking of sex offenders and batterers

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Last week, the state of New Jersey established a permanent program to monitor convicted sex offenders with GPS (global positioning system) technology. For the past two years, New Jersey has had a pilot program in which 156 "high-risk" sex offenders were tracked with GPS devices. The program was set to expire, but the legislators passed a law, which the governor signed, to make it permanent. In a previous post, Sexually violent predators, Lovefraud noted that sex offenders who are diagnosed as psychopaths are likely to offend again. One study found that within six years of release from prison, 80% of psychopathic sex offenders committed additional offenses, compared to only 20% of …

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Is every pathologic liar a psychopath or a sociopath?

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Several weeks ago I introduced the idea that lying is the cardinal symptom of sociopathy/psychopathy. I believe that every sociopath/psychopath compulsively lies. Judging from the number of comments to the article, The cardinal sign of sociopathy: Every sociopath ______! you all agree with me. Since every sociopath lies, it is reasonable to ask if we can use lying behavior to help us identify sociopaths. The problem is that from time to time nearly everyone lies for any number of reasons, so lying is a rather non-specific finding in a person. It is instead pathologic lying that characterizes sociopaths and psychopaths. In a recent paper, Pathological Lying Revisited (J Am Acad Psychiatry …

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Finding value after the sociopath encounter

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Finding value in all things is an integral component of healing after an encounter with a sociopath. When I look for what is good in being freed from him, I create opportunities to be surprised by the unexpected. As Oscar Wilde wrote, “to expect the unexpected shows a thoroughly modern intellect.” Expecting the unexpected is not a license to let go of rational thinking. It means staying connected to intellect and allowing my intuition to guide me —- especially where people are concerned. New encounters can lead to wonder...or not When we first meet someone, we do not know who they truly are, just as they don't know who we are. New people in our lives can be the best thing that ever happe …

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7 points to remember about dating and predators

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As human beings, we all want love and companionship in our lives. It's a basic human need, right up there with the needs for food, water and shelter. When we are lacking an intimate relationship, most of us try to fill the empty space. That leads to dating. Here is what you need to know about dating and predators. 1. Evil exists. What the evil is called—psychopath, sociopath, antisocial personality disorder, narcissist—really doesn't matter. There are evil people out there, and they can be found in all segments of society—rich, poor, male, female, all races, all religions, all communities. They look like everyone else, but they are predators. 2. If you are dating, you are a targe …

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MAO A gene interacts with testosterone to predict sociopathy

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Genetic studies of our population estimate that about 50 percent of the differences in trait sociopathy between individuals are due to small differences in our genes. These small individual differences in our genes are called polymorphisms (poly=many, morph=forms), for many forms of the same gene. It is clear that polymorphisms interact with environmental factors during childhood and adolescence to produce sociopathy. It is also clear that the set of traits that we call sociopathy involves many polymorphisms. There is accumulating evidence that a functional VNTR polymorphism in the promoter region of the monoamine oxidase A (MAO A) gene may give some men a predisposition to sociopathy. …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFAUD: How do you fight against this type of person?

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Many people write to Lovefraud seeking advice for the situations they find themselves in due to a sociopath. I do my best to help, but sometimes the sociopath has created so much trauma that I feel like my suggestions are inadequate. Reproduced below is an e-mail exchange between a woman who faces a nearly impossible situation—we'll call her Theresa—and myself. If you have any suggestions that may help her, please post them in a comment. Theresa's first letter When I met my husband he was divorced (three times) and had joint custody of his biological son and stepdaughter. At the time it appeared as though he was this loving and caring dad, and he was so convincing that I was the one per …

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Prenatal smoking increases the risk of sociopathy

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The prevention of sociopathy is something we all should be concerned about. Last week, we had an excellent discussion about sociopathy and lying. We all agree lying is the cardinal symptom of sociopathy, thanks to all those who posted comments. Your comments truly help those who are new to the site. Lying is part of the poor impulse control that sociopaths have. Poor impulse control or impulsivity and lying are recognized as central to sociopathy by every expert and diagnostic method. To prevent sociopathy we must start by preventing impulsivity. Unfortunately the brain structures responsible for impulse control are very sensitive to damage, especially early in life; although, damage to the …

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3 steps to leave a sociopath and start healing

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It's easy to fall asleep at the wheel on the road of life. To lose consciousness under the seeming weight of sorrows, trials and tribulations pounding you into the dirt. To forget to open your eyes to the wonders passing by. Everyday living has a numbing effect on reality. However, if you're in relationship with someone who resembles the label of a sociopath, psychopath, narcissistic personality disordered or any other disorderly letter of the alphabet, it's even easier to forget who you are and where you're going. Staying awake drifts from your mind as you are drained by the numbing effect of his abuse. The deeper your drift, the further waking up races from possibility. When we're in an …

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