How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Is every pathologic liar a psychopath or a sociopath?

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Several weeks ago I introduced the idea that lying is the cardinal symptom of sociopathy/psychopathy. I believe that every sociopath/psychopath compulsively lies. Judging from the number of comments to the article, The cardinal sign of sociopathy: Every sociopath ______! you all agree with me. Since every sociopath lies, it is reasonable to ask if we can use lying behavior to help us identify sociopaths. The problem is that from time to time nearly everyone lies for any number of reasons, so lying is a rather non-specific finding in a person. It is instead pathologic lying that characterizes sociopaths and psychopaths. In a recent paper, Pathological Lying Revisited (J Am Acad Psychiatry …

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Finding value after the sociopath encounter

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Finding value in all things is an integral component of healing after an encounter with a sociopath. When I look for what is good in being freed from him, I create opportunities to be surprised by the unexpected. As Oscar Wilde wrote, “to expect the unexpected shows a thoroughly modern intellect.” Expecting the unexpected is not a license to let go of rational thinking. It means staying connected to intellect and allowing my intuition to guide me —- especially where people are concerned. New encounters can lead to wonder...or not When we first meet someone, we do not know who they truly are, just as they don't know who we are. New people in our lives can be the best thing that ever happe …

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7 points to remember about dating and predators

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As human beings, we all want love and companionship in our lives. It's a basic human need, right up there with the needs for food, water and shelter. When we are lacking an intimate relationship, most of us try to fill the empty space. That leads to dating. Here is what you need to know about dating and predators. 1. Evil exists. What the evil is called—psychopath, sociopath, antisocial personality disorder, narcissist—really doesn't matter. There are evil people out there, and they can be found in all segments of society—rich, poor, male, female, all races, all religions, all communities. They look like everyone else, but they are predators. 2. If you are dating, you are a targe …

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MAO A gene interacts with testosterone to predict sociopathy

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Genetic studies of our population estimate that about 50 percent of the differences in trait sociopathy between individuals are due to small differences in our genes. These small individual differences in our genes are called polymorphisms (poly=many, morph=forms), for many forms of the same gene. It is clear that polymorphisms interact with environmental factors during childhood and adolescence to produce sociopathy. It is also clear that the set of traits that we call sociopathy involves many polymorphisms. There is accumulating evidence that a functional VNTR polymorphism in the promoter region of the monoamine oxidase A (MAO A) gene may give some men a predisposition to sociopathy. …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFAUD: How do you fight against this type of person?

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Many people write to Lovefraud seeking advice for the situations they find themselves in due to a sociopath. I do my best to help, but sometimes the sociopath has created so much trauma that I feel like my suggestions are inadequate. Reproduced below is an e-mail exchange between a woman who faces a nearly impossible situation—we'll call her Theresa—and myself. If you have any suggestions that may help her, please post them in a comment. Theresa's first letter When I met my husband he was divorced (three times) and had joint custody of his biological son and stepdaughter. At the time it appeared as though he was this loving and caring dad, and he was so convincing that I was the one per …

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Prenatal smoking increases the risk of sociopathy

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The prevention of sociopathy is something we all should be concerned about. Last week, we had an excellent discussion about sociopathy and lying. We all agree lying is the cardinal symptom of sociopathy, thanks to all those who posted comments. Your comments truly help those who are new to the site. Lying is part of the poor impulse control that sociopaths have. Poor impulse control or impulsivity and lying are recognized as central to sociopathy by every expert and diagnostic method. To prevent sociopathy we must start by preventing impulsivity. Unfortunately the brain structures responsible for impulse control are very sensitive to damage, especially early in life; although, damage to the …

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3 steps to leave a sociopath and start healing

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It's easy to fall asleep at the wheel on the road of life. To lose consciousness under the seeming weight of sorrows, trials and tribulations pounding you into the dirt. To forget to open your eyes to the wonders passing by. Everyday living has a numbing effect on reality. However, if you're in relationship with someone who resembles the label of a sociopath, psychopath, narcissistic personality disordered or any other disorderly letter of the alphabet, it's even easier to forget who you are and where you're going. Staying awake drifts from your mind as you are drained by the numbing effect of his abuse. The deeper your drift, the further waking up races from possibility. When we're in an …

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Fred Brito claims he’s “The Benevolent Con”

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Last month Dr. Liane Leedom wrote an article called Fred Brito: A con artist profiled by Dateline. Dr. Leedom's observations about the Dateline story were: Fred fooled many people who should have known better Fred fits the profile of a sociopath Fred projects positive energy that is nearly euphoric Fred has an enormous sense of entitlement Fred sought the company of high-status individuals Fred doesn't appear to have a love life Dr. Leedom's comments about Fred strike me as being fairly mild. They aren't the type of comments that a man who agreed to be interviewed by a national investigative television show, or someone who is running for state senator in New Mexico, …

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The cardinal sign of sociopathy: Every sociopath ______!

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Lovefraud receives many letters from people who want a sign. Readers ask, "How do I know whether or not someone is a sociopath?" There is one behavior that every sociopath engages in to extreme excess. If I were only allowed one criteria for the diagnosis I would choose this behavior. If someone does not do this thing to extreme excess he/she is certainly not a sociopath. Those of you who have been involved with a sociopath know too well what this one thing is. It is lying. I enjoy reading old religious texts because I believe there is truly nothing new under the sun. It is comforting to get reassurance of that fact. I mentioned some time ago that female sociopaths are described in the …

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Book review: Win Your Child Custody War

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Lovefraud receives many e-mails and phone calls from parents who are in child custody disputes with sociopathic ex-partners. If this is you, you are desperate for help and advice. Personally, I think these are the most tragic cases involving sociopaths. Sociopaths are incapable of loving anyone, including their children. Children, therefore, are pawns in their game, and the game is to torture you. In the worst cases, the game is also to turn your child into a Mini Me, a budding sociopath. To make matters worse, sociopaths are capable of putting on such convincing appearances—smoothly blending partial truth with lies and accusations—that judges frequently believe them. Sociopaths also ma …

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