Every so often I get down on myself for having believed the lies of a con artist. When I come across stories like The Ultimate Con Artist which recently aired on Dateline, I realize that many who should have known better have been fooled. Before you read the rest of this column, follow the link and watch the video of this man. Before my own encounter with a con artist, I thought I had personally observed most of the human behavioral repertoire. I had good reason for holding that belief, having trained in psychiatry at a large general hospital that served 4 million people. I didn't think much of “con artists” in my mind they were simply people who were "good at sales." The sociopaths I saw …
After the sociopath. Time passes. Love heals.
Time. It waits for no man. Nor woman. I cannot hold it in my arms. I cannot stop its inevitable course. I can only journey with it from this moment to the next. I cannot change time passing. I can change how I pass through time. Time. When in an abusive relationship, tied up in the lies of a sociopath, time was my foe. It passed in relentless pursuit of itself, while I stood still, locked into the macabre dance of his sinuously veiled truths reflected in the contortions of his lies sifting through the hourglass of time, burying me alive. With him, time passed slowly. Heavy. Ponderous. Dark. Angry waves crashing against the once impenetrable fortress of my psyche, eroding my foundation, …
Fake doctor Jeffrey Marsalis acquitted of date rape
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania has been transfixed in recent weeks by the trial of Jeffrey Marsalis, 34, who was accused of raping seven women. After five days of deliberations, a jury acquitted Marsalis of 24 counts of rape, and could not reach a verdict on one charge of rape by forcible compulsion. They did convict him of two counts of sexual assault. He could be sentenced to as many as 20 years in prison. Met on Match.com Marsalis met six of the women—all of them professionals—on Match.com. He told them he was a doctor. In fact, he walked the floors of Hahnemann Hospital in Philadelphia wearing scrubs and a lab coat. He had hospital ID badges and carried a stethoscope. His former fia …
Fake doctor Jeffrey Marsalis acquitted of date rapeRead More
Poor impulse control: a symptom of sociopathy in men and women
This week, I met a man in his early 20s, who approached me to ask about sociopathy. He is in search of answers regarding his former girl friend and BOTH his mother and his father. He stated he had just ended a relationship with a woman who was physically and psychologically abusive to him. He said it was hard to end the relationship because he still loved her. The man was raised by his father after his alcoholic mother abandoned the family. His father was an abusive character who also drank alcohol and paid little attention to the kids. He asked if I would explain why people are abusive psychologically and physically and why this is related to alcoholism. In answering his question, I …
Poor impulse control: a symptom of sociopathy in men and womenRead More
Is Tony Soprano a sociopath?
Tonight, in the final episode of the HBO series The Sopranos, we find out what happens to Tony. Will he get whacked? Will he escape? Will he go into the federal witness protection program? As a prelude, last week's episode, called The Blue Comet, showed Tony as a man alone, losing his family, friends and even his psychiatrist. Early in the show, Tony's shrink, Dr. Jennifer Melfi, is at a dinner party with other mental health professionals, including her own shrink, Dr. Elliot Kupfenberg. The conversation turns to sociopaths: Doctor #1: I Googled stuff on sociopathic personalities. Apparently the talking cure actually helps them become better criminals. It was fascinating. The study was …
ASK DR. LEEDOM: Is there a gender bias against men in the diagnosis of sociopathy?
There is gender bias in our current mental health diagnostic system. This bias occurs for three reasons. There are genuine gender differences in the manifestation of behavioral disorders. Those creating the diagnostic categories are biased. Those making the diagnoses are biased. Each of these reasons for gender bias is operative with regard to sociopathy. We would hope though that gender differences found in behavioral disorders reflect true physiologic differences between men and women. This week I will attempt to convince you that physiologic differences between men and women account for the higher prevalence of sociopathy in men. That men and women are different physiologically …
ASK DR. LEEDOM: Is there a gender bias against men in the diagnosis of sociopathy?Read More
How to find out if someone is truly military
My ex-husband, James Montgomery, told me he had earned the Victoria Cross, Australia's highest military honor, for his heroism during the Vietnam War. He said he continued his military service for 30 years, as an Australian attached to American Special Operations, including Navy SEALS. He said he became an intelligence analyst for the Special Operations Command and the National Security Agency. I saw the reports that he wrote about Islamic terrorists. Montgomery was the keynote speaker at a New Jersey Veterans Day ceremony in 1995. His photo, standing at the podium in a camouflage uniform and Special Forces beret, appeared in the newspaper. In 1996 and 1997, I accompanied him to a local …
ASK DR. LEEDOM: How does one ever get over the heartache of being taken by a con artist??
Con artists are a special category of sociopaths. In fact, most if not all are also psychopaths. If you were tricked by a con artist, I would say you are in good company, since all three of the authors on this blog were also fooled by con artists! This week one of our readers posted her story as a comment to ASK DR. LEEDOM: FAQ #1 “Why is this so hard for us mentally?” Her post illustrates many of the important characteristics of a con: In 1998 I was ripped off by a con artist, whom I met through a personal ad. I was going through a very serious depression at the time, and that's when I met him. He seemed like a breath of fresh air, very intelligent, different than other men I had met. He …
ASK DR. LEEDOM: How does one ever get over the heartache of being taken by a con artist??Read More
Anthony Owens has 8 wives, tries for 4 more
"Bishop" Anthony Owens, one of the original Lovefraud case studies, was back in the news last week. Perhaps you remember Bishop Owens. He married eight women, and divorced none of them. His last wife found out about his multiple marriages and turned him into the police. Owens was convicted of one count of bigamy and spent 17 months in prison. He was paroled in November 2005. According to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, Owens is back in jail because he violated his probation. He left the state of Georgia to re-establish his traveling ministry. And while he was traveling, he was proposing to more women. The newspaper reported that at least four women claim Owens has proposed to them …
Exercise to treat depression and anxiety
The trauma that a sociopath inflicts on those who love him/her can be exceptionally difficult to overcome. In the wake of a relationship with a sociopath, former partners can suffer with clinical depression, generalized anxiety, PTSD and panic disorder. All of these conditions are said to respond to SSRI antidepressants like Prozac and to psychotherapy. However, many people have written to Lovefraud.com lamenting that antidepressants and psychotherapy have not been particularly effective for them. The one good thing about a crisis is that it can be an opportunity to make major life change. I am a firm believer that it is possible to come out of a crisis better and stronger. I am also …