Lovefraud Blog

Evil sociopaths: When they reveal themselves, believe them

October 14, 2020 // by Donna Andersen// 12 Comments

Sometimes evil sociopaths will tell us exactly who they are. Unfortunately, many of us refuse to believe them. I've heard this many times from Lovefraud readers. Their romantic partner said things like: "I'm really not a very nice person." "You should get away from me. I'll ruin your life." "I'm a sociopath." But instead of running for the hills, the people who heard these statements stayed in the relationships. Needless to say, they turned out badly. Why do we do it? Why, when someone comes out and tells us that they will hurt us — at least emotionally, if not worse — why do we ignore the warning and stay? I can think of several reasons: We do not know that sociopaths ex …

Evil sociopaths: When they reveal themselves, believe themRead More

Protect, Feed and Share Your Light

October 12, 2020 // by Liberty Forrest// 2 Comments

Editor's note: Lovefraud welcomes Liberty Forrest, author of several self-help books and a certified Law of Attraction Life Coach. Read more about Liberty. By Liberty Forrest, PDHom You are a precious gift from the Universe. You might not feel like it sometimes, but that doesn’t mean it’s not true. In fact, it’s at precisely those times that it would serve you well to remember it and to connect with the beautiful Light that is you - your sweet spirit, the very essence of your soul. Perhaps you’ve spent too much time in the presence of people who do not appreciate your Light. It’s probably because it frightens them; they live mostly in their own shadow of Darkness that your Light is blind …

Protect, Feed and Share Your LightRead More

I missed the red flags of a sociopath

October 9, 2020 // by Lovefraud Reader// 3 Comments

Editor's note: Here's a letter Lovefraud received from a reader whom we'll call Irene20. She missed the red flags of a sociopath. I met my "soul mate" on a dating website called Zoosk. The first date I went out with him I found him physically attractive but he was distracted and I felt he was rude so I shortened the date and left. He then asked me out to lunch and I thought, I'll give him another chance, and that was a much better experience. It wasn't until the third date that we really connected. The third date he was charming, attentive, complimentary, and romantic. I had a little too much to drink by accident because I had gone on the date with a headache and it went straight to my …

I missed the red flags of a sociopathRead More

Why it hurts to leave the sociopath

October 7, 2020 // by Donna Andersen// 2 Comments

Lovefraud recently received the following email from a reader asking why it hurt to leave the sociopath: Why would a person become distraught when the narc/sociopath that has wronged them gives them the silent treatment? I have ridden the merry go round for 10 years with a guy that has cheated and not told the truth. We break up (usually me pushing him away and him acting the victim and then we never can stay away.) He begs, I reject and then he retreats and I feel overwrought. Horrible. I feel heartbroken every single time. So hard to understand and get out of this cycle. Any explanation? Actually, there are two explanations, rooted in human psychology, for why it hurts to leave the …

Why it hurts to leave the sociopathRead More

Waiting for the Ripples to Reach the Shore…

October 5, 2020 // by Liberty Forrest// 1 Comment

Editor's note: Lovefraud welcomes Liberty Forrest, author of several self-help books and a certified Law of Attraction Life Coach. In this article, she reminds us that this too shall pass. Read more about Liberty. By Liberty Forrest, PDHom Recently, a very dear friend was confiding in me. After a tremendous shock some months ago that left her reeling, she's been having a pretty bumpy time. She's been feeling stuck. Very, very stuck, and wondering if she'll ever see the light at the end of the tunnel (when it's not the train coming at her). One of the most difficult bits of her troubles has been that she's had no control over the situation. Finding herself in a toxic relationship that …

Waiting for the Ripples to Reach the Shore…Read More

Everyday kindnesses of love after the sociopath

October 2, 2020 // by Donna Andersen// Leave a Comment

Yes, there is love after the sociopath, and the proof is in the kiwi tart that my husband, Terry Kelly, made for us today. We received a gift box of fruit, including golden kiwis. It came with a recipe for a kiwi tart. Yesterday, Terry bought the rest of the ingredients. This morning, he made the tart. Why is the timing significant? Because I have hypoglycemia, or low blood sugar. I need to monitor my sugar intake, and if I eat sweets too late in the day, such as after dinner, the sugar keeps me awake half the night. Terry made the tart early so we could enjoy it with our lunch, and I'd be able to sleep later. This is just the latest of the multitude of pleasures and kindnesses that …

Everyday kindnesses of love after the sociopathRead More

Military love fraud: Navy husband moves her to Guam, then abandons her

September 20, 2020 // by Lovefraud Reader// 1 Comment

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story about military love fraud from a reader whom we'll call Sally20. I am a Navy spouse and my active duty husband was the first man I ever met online. He convinced me my 3 kids and I deserved better than their abusive father and the life we were living. He convinced me to marry him and fight to move myself and my 3 kids to Guam for his overseas tour. I did. I won and we all moved to the other side of the world where things began not seeming normal. He became very critical of everything we did from washing to dishes to sitting correctly on a couch. I was not only finding evidence of other women but was also contacted by other women, …

Military love fraud: Navy husband moves her to Guam, then abandons herRead More

My cheating sociopathic fiancé

September 11, 2020 // by Lovefraud Reader// 1 Comment

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following letter about a cheating sociopathic fiancé from a reader whom we'll call, "Mandy20." I met my ex-fiancé in 2017 at work. He was attractive and charming. I found out he was engaged and although a co-worker thought he was flirting (he asked me if I had ever been to the Melting Pot) I didn’t pursue anything at that time. I ran into him at work after Christmas and when I asked about his holiday he said his fiancé gave him his ring back. We then connected on Facebook and started “talking” via Messenger (first red flag!) I told him I had recently broken up with someone too and suggested we go to the Melting Pot to commiserate. He then said he th …

My cheating sociopathic fiancéRead More

Range of sociopathic behavior: From sleazy to serial killer

September 7, 2020 // by Donna Andersen// 12 Comments

UPDATED FOR 2020: Lovefraud recently received the following email from a reader whom we'll call "Jason." It's an opportunity to explain the range of sociopathic behavior. My best friend of 20 years I believe is a sociopath. It's very sad because you want to give a person the benefit of the doubt, but after awhile it becomes apparent. He displays all the characteristics of the sociopath. I'm smart, but I can't convince myself with 100% certainty that he's a sociopath (maybe most people can't.) It's hard to reconcile with it. Is there any advice you can give me? Yes, Jason. First I'll give the somewhat easy explanation; then I'll give the more technical explanation. Cluster of traits and …

Range of sociopathic behavior: From sleazy to serial killerRead More

Sociopath ignores his child, the ‘dirty little secret’

August 30, 2020 // by Lovefraud Reader// 3 Comments

Editor's note: A Lovefraud reader, whom we'll call "Abigail20," describes how she met a man, had a child with him, and now the sociopath ignores his child. I met the sociopath at a birthday party in 2004, after exchanging numbers and a few dates I realised I only liked him as a friend, he tried to get tactile very early on but I rejected his advances, truth is my feelings lay elsewhere and regrettably I let the sociopath know this yet still he persisted, he still wanted to be around me, he knew exactly what he was doing and what his motives were. During the initial stages we were hanging out together as friends, so I thought, I learned that he was living as a tenant with a former …

Sociopath ignores his child, the ‘dirty little secret’Read More

eleanoreliza1234 on When bad behavior shows symptoms, not flaws : “What a beautifully composed response by Emilie 18! Reassuring to know that others have experienced the same. Thank you, Emilie.”
jhmb6 on Narcissists and hoarding disorder: “This article suggests that all narcissists are not simply narcissists. There always seems to be a co-occurring disorder. All evidence…”
Joanie Bentz, B.S., M.ED, LBS, CCBP on Narcissists and hoarding disorder: “Happy Sunday Donna, and I am not surprised based on the story of your ex that he may have been…”
Donna Andersen on Narcissists and hoarding disorder: “Hi Joanie — thanks for this article! My ex was a complete pack rat. I converted my basement into an…”
Donna Andersen on When bad behavior shows symptoms, not flaws : “Emilie 18 posted the following comment in the Forum. Eleanor Cowen posted a beautifully said piece in the Blog about…”