Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we'll call "Claudette19." I hope this letter explains to you all what I have been through and how I am still trying to recover from the impact. Dear ex Only by staying away from you did I begin to see your destructiveness and I had to detox from your trauma. For almost 4 years you projected all your anger from your past/present onto me. You did this by calling me a c**t b**h, throwing things at me, charging at me, hurting me, threatening to kill yourself, bullying me and breaking things. You were unpleasant, manipulative and you constantly lied to me. You told me you were the only person who knew how to love me, …
Video: After they’re gone, do sociopaths or narcissists return?
The sociopath is gone. Either you were dumped, or you finally threw him or her out. Now what? After they're gone, do sociopaths or narcissists return? You may feel like you're in shock, especially if your sociopathic partner abruptly discarded you, after days, months, or perhaps even years of saying that you were meant for each other. Or perhaps you finally got up the nerve to end the involvement. Your partner is gone, but your resolve is unsteady. What if he or she showed up again? Can you stand strong? I address these questions in the newest Lovefraud Lessons video: Do sociopaths return? I explain why sociopaths may return, and what you should do. To learn more about what to do …
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Love Fraud book excerpt: If my family knew what was really going on in my marriage
By Donna Andersen We married secretly in Australia. Then six months after we met, had another wedding, complete with a reception and band, attended by family and friends. By this time I had already spent more than $53,000 on my husband's projects, much of it on my credit cards. My brother's birthday was in March, and on a Sunday afternoon his wife planned a small celebration in their home. James said he had to work, as usual, so I went alone. Toward the end of the party, my brother cornered me in the family room. “You know, Donna, Dad is concerned about James,” he began. “What’s he concerned about?” “He thinks James doesn’t have any money and you paid for the entire wedding.” …
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Issues you should consider before taking a sociopath to court
Lovefraud received the following email: I was previously married to a sociopath, and we have a 4-year-old son together. I have sole legal and physical custody of our son, but have been fighting to reduce the amount of visitation for quite some time. I recently read that having a forensic psychological analysis done on the entire family would reveal that my ex is a sociopath and possibly prevent him from having ANY visitation going forward. Is this true, in your experience? Do you have any advice for me as I embark on this process? Many, many Lovefraud readers have realized — to their horror — that they've had a child or children with a sociopath (someone with antisocial, narcissistic, b …
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Wednesday webinar: What do psychopaths, sociopaths and narcissists want?
I'm prepping for my webinar on Wednesday — What did they want? Psychopaths, antisocial and other exploiters in romantic relationships — and I'm very excited about the material. If you're trying to understand why sociopaths, narcissists and the rest of these toxic manipulators do what they do, this webinar is where you can get clarity. I explain the clunky terminology of psychology researchers and mental health professionals (and why I refer to human predators collectively as "sociopaths"). I'll show you Lovefraud's research on when most people see the warning signs of exploitative behavior — if it took you awhile, you're certainly not alone. And I explain how sociopaths become disordered — …
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On TV Feb 9 : How Derek Alldred scammed dozens of women in love fraud
Last August, Derek Alldred was sentenced to 24 years in prison for scamming at least two dozen women out of hundreds of thousands of dollars in a massive love fraud. On Saturday, Feb. 9, at 8 pm ET, Oxygen Media will present a documentary of the case, with the women he deceived telling what happened to them. Seduced by Evil delves into the world of the wickedly smart and dangerously evil Derek Alldred, a criminal mastermind who sought out relationships with unsuspecting women and entangled them in a web of lies to deplete their savings and support his fabricated life. Through the eyes of the countless women he deceived, the documentary will feature exclusive interviews with former victims …
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Video: When sociopaths say, ‘I love you,’ what do they mean?
Most sociopaths in romantic relationships are quick to proclaim their love. But when sociopaths say, 'I love you,' what do they really mean? In this video, I offer 10 possible explanations — none of which have anything to do with real love. I will be addressing this topic — and much more — in my upcoming webinar: What did they want? Psychopaths, antisocials, and other exploiters in romantic relationships Wednesday, February 6, 2019 • 8-9 pm ET Instructor: Donna Andersen, author of Lovefraud.com If you want a primer on personality-disorder partners, here it is. I explain how these people behave, what they want, and why they turn so callous and cold. Their motivations are totally …
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Looks like Sen. Joni Ernst was married to a sociopath
Senator Joni Ernst of Iowa endured verbal, mental and at least one incident of physical abuse during her marriage, according to documents filed in her divorce from her husband of 26 years, Gail Ernst. When they married in 1992, Gail Ernst was 39 and a career Army man. Joni Ernst was 22 and had recently graduated from college. In her divorce documents, Joni Ernst says: Her husband assaulted her after she confronted him about his "special relationship" with their daughter's babysitter. She fled to her mother's house with their daughter in the middle of the night. After the incident, Gail Ernst agreed to counseling, but told her not to discuss the assault in the sessions. She a …
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Love Fraud book excerpt: Was the relationship moving too fast, or was I just afraid?
By Donna Andersen Not long after we met in person, James Montgomery proposed to me — he was smitten with me, and proclaimed we'd make a great team. But it felt like he was taking over my existence. What was I getting myself into? Life became a spinning tornado, with James at the center of it. He was working at full speed on all his projects, yet called me many times a day, keeping me apprised of his progress. He told me about his meetings, forwarding reports and faxes. He also asked for my help. James wrote newsletters for the American Legion, Vietnam Veterans Association and his new Lions Club. He wanted me to use my vendors to get them printed and mailed. I was busy as well. My b …
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Wed 1/30 – Sociopathic Seduction: How you got hooked and why you stayed
Webinar tomorrow: Sociopathic Seduction: How you got hooked and why you stayed Wednesday, January 30, 2019 • 8-9 pm ET Instructor: Donna Andersen, author of Lovefraud.com You’re smart, loving and accomplished. Take this course and learn how your exploitative partner used your good human qualities against you, by targeting your vulnerabilities and hijacking the human bonding system. Purchase the webinar Sociopathic Seduction: How you got hooked and why you stayed for only $25. More info. OR Sign up for the Lovefraud Understanding and Recovery 5-part Masterclass, and the webinar is included. You get six webinars for $99. More info. Highlights of this webinar: Why most …
Wed 1/30 – Sociopathic Seduction: How you got hooked and why you stayedRead More