How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Dr. Laura Rubiales: Addressing fatigue after a social predator

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By Laura Rubiales, ND, LAc If you find yourself drained and tired after an experience or relationship with a social predator, these are my suggestions: Cut all ties with them and those with whom you will get the social predator’s manipulation. Try to reach some kind of emotional neutrality about the situation so you are not giving them your mental and emotional energy anymore. A skilled therapist can be invaluable in this process. I understand that this is much easier said than done when the predator was an intimate partner or affected your safety in the world. See if you can revitalize yourself with activities that recharge and soothe you…. Mine are yoga classes, time in nature, naps, …

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5 Ways to Feel Better After Dating a Sociopath

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Life gets everybody down now and then. Sometimes, we get hit with truly traumatizing experiences such as dating a sociopath. Sociopaths can cause a massive decrease in self-esteem, self-confidence, trust, happiness, and just ruin your life in general. Sometimes, when you get stuck in a hole of sadness due to this terrible person, it's hard to climb back out again. If you focus on your sadness, it gets bigger, more overwhelming, and harder to chase away. But you don't have to resign yourself to feeling down. Whether you're sad about something that's happened in your life or you're just in a funk, it's possible to feel better. Here are five things you can do to lift yourself up and renew …

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Recovery from the sociopath through self-forgiveness

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The sociopath devastated your life, and you feel like it's all your fault. In this webinar you learn that through understanding and gentle self-forgiveness, you can put down the burden of guilt and find peace. Travis Vining, the instructor, teaches from his heart — and from experience. His father was a serial killer who pressured Travis to help cover up his crimes. Talk about guilt! It was so traumatic that Travis repressed the memories for years. Finally, in a reflective and spiritual way, Travis found peace. In this webinar, he shares his approach with you. Click for more information: Self-forgiveness: Understanding and letting go of guilt   …

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My emotionally abusive ex-wife almost caused me to commit suicide

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call Andrew18. My ex wife was emotionally abusive throughout marriage. She had female "friends" throughout marriage of 21 yrs. Every weekend she went out with them and left me to watch kids. Played mind games of saying I should discipline kids but when I did she would overrule it and let kids off every time. She loved humiliating me in front of others by saying how she almost left me after our first born because she didn't need me but decided to stay for our child. Love was a carrot to dangle in front of me. Be a better husband and maybe she would not be mean to me. She regularly would slap my arm or leg if she …

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Social worker charged in plot to hire hit man

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So today I open up the newspaper and see that a local therapist, Diane Sylvia, 58, attempted to hire a hit man. She wanted a guy's "pretty little face" bashed in. She also wanted his arm broken, so he could no longer work out. Diane Sylvia is a licensed clinical social worker practicing in Somers Point, New Jersey. According to her title, she is also a certified domestic violence counselor. One of Sylvia's clients had belonged to a criminal gang. She asked him if he knew anyone who could do the job. The client notified the authorities, who then wanted him to introduce Sylvia to a hit man — except that it was really an undercover FBI agent. Sylvia claimed that the man, who lived in M …

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Utah track athlete shot by ex-boyfriend who lied about his name, age, and sex-offender status

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The story of University of Utah track athlete Lauren McCluskey, 21, is a tragedy from beginning to end. She started dating Melvin S. Rowland in September. A month later, she found out who he really was — a 37-year old sex offender who had recently been paroled. When Lauren broke off their relationship, Rowland stalked her. Then, on October 22, he shot and killed her, leaving her body in a car on campus. He fled and later killed himself. Here's a timeline of the events in the extortion and shooting death of University of Utah student Lauren McCluskey, on SLTrib.com When Lauren McCluskey first reported Rowland, the university police did not open an investigation immediately. They also …

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My ex wants to eliminate me from my son’s life

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Editors note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader who posts as "momto4kiddos." I dated my psychopath for almost 3 years. He manipulated me into having a child with him. My son is now 5 years old. I battled at court with him for 4 years now. He retained an attorney as ruthless as he is to obtain custody and put him on a path to totally eliminate me from my son’s life, including trying to put me in jail. He even filed bogus reports with CPS to have my then-boyfriend ordered out of my son’s life. My psycho took his truck door and slammed it in my son’s head causing head trauma and concussion and blamed it on my then-boyfriend. He has manipulated several people, inclu …

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Philippe Padieu gave 13 women HIV, but they fought back and put him in jail

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Diane Reeve dated Philippe Padieu for four years, but when he failed to show up at her daughter's wedding reception, discovered that he was cheating on her. Because she was paying for his cell phone, she checked his phone records and found that Padieu's cheating was rampant. She called the other women to tell them the truth. Then Diane, who was a martial arts instructor, started feeling tired. She thought she was just getting older. Soon she spoke with one of Padieu's other girlfriends. It turned out that they both had HIV. The women searched for other victims, and eventually found 13 infected women. They reported the situation to the police, and in 2009, Philippe Padieu was …

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Your Autonomic Nervous System and Healing from the Sociopath

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By Laura Rubiales, ND, LAc Do you feel like your body and mental/emotional state changed after an encounter or relationship with a sociopath?   Are you more frazzled, hypervigilant, with a potential sense of impending doom, increased anxiety and insomnia? Have you gained or lost weight? Are you having more digestive issues? Many of these symptoms can be explained physiologically by changes in your autonomic nervous system. Your autonomic nervous system has two states between which it alternates, the sympathetic and parasympathetic. The sympathetic state is your body’s fight or flight system which is meant to mobilize you away from danger. In the sympathetic state, your blood flow is …

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As you recover from the sociopath, remember to live

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For many of us, when we finally disengage from the sociopath, our lives are in shambles. We aren't just trying to recover from a broken heart due to the sociopath's unconscionable betrayal. We may also need to recover from financial devastation, ruined relationships with family and friends, lost jobs, lost businesses, lost homes, stress-related illness and the aftershocks of psychological manipulation. No wonder we feel like zombies. Where do we start? How do we rebuild our lives? In the beginning, our focus is rightfully on crisis management. We make sure we have shelter, food, financial support. We must find solutions for the basic issues of survival. Eventually, the crisis …

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