How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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School shootings: Understanding patterns is great, but doesn’t prevent murder

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Another school shooting — in Santa Fe, Texas. Ten dead — eight students and two teachers — and 13 wounded. This one wasn't like the Parkland, Florida shooting, where everyone knew that the perpetrator, Nikolas Cruz, had serious psychological problems. No, this time, when 17-year-old Dimitrios Pagourtzis opened fire, people were shocked. There was only one mention of a possible motive mentioned so far. One of the students killed was Shana Fisher, 16. Shana's mother, Sadie Rodriguez, said that for four months, Pagourtzis kept making advances on her, and she kept refusing. According to the Los Angeles Times, "Pagourtzis continued to get more aggressive, and she finally stood up to him and …

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A sociopath claims, ‘We are evolution’s next step’

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Do sociopaths know what they are? Many, many Lovefraud readers ask me this question. The short answer is that some of them do and some of them don't. The man who sent me the following email certainly has insight into his own personality: I would like to thank you for making your videos they have given me an insight into how you people recognize us. WE are not to blame for your short comings because you are weak minded and foolish enough to be taken advantage of. We are evolutions next step we don't allow silly emotions to cloud our judgments. In fact we use our advantage for survival because we are natures next course. I know I sound very narcissistic and apologize for that but if you …

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Book Review: ‘Miracle in the Madness:’ All real therapy is release from the past

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The Miracle in the Madness — Grateful to be the son of a murderer, by Travis Vining Review by Donna Andersen The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. Travis Vining is the son of a sociopathic serial killer. His father, John Bruce Vining, killed four people, and coerced Travis, as a young man, into helping him escape prosecution. How does anyone cope with that? Travis tried to forget what happened, and he did, sort of. His psyche repressed direct memory of many incidents. But the efforts of his mind had repercussions in his body. Travis had all kinds of physical problems, ranging from rashes to addiction to p …

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What do we do when sociopaths experience no consequences?

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Lovefraud received the following email from a reader who posts as "Salvation2012." Thank you for helping me decide when I needed to cut my losses during my divorce. I did cut my "losses," yet the total I received tallied up to a number similar, just not in all cash. Because I settled in his eyes, he told everyone I was just proving how I was the guilty one and didn't want to risk being exposed. To the end he will deny permanently injuring me and bleeding me of money, and cheating on me (which I only later found out about the extent). My recent concern is watching him seemingly have no consequences. I'm not a vengeful person, so this is a distressing area for me, but I just thought karma …

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After the sociopath, managing how my brain manages trauma

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By Eleanor Cowan I felt heavy as I awakened this morning. A toxic punch followed by a few slaps of self-recrimination are tossed with tuning forks—all delivered by myself to me. “No!” I say as I have for the past thirty years. I swing my legs out of bed and onto the solid oak floor. My gold filigreed daily planner is right where its supposed to be. I will never erase my actual history of having married a pedophile who molested first his siblings and then our children. His crafty, conscienceless siphoning of my time, energy, money and support for fourteen years can never be expunged. I can never, ever erase his small daily cruelties that sadly, I got used to tolerating, little by litt …

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Dating again after the sociopath – Webinar May 16, 8 pm ET

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[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/wMXEep7qAuM"] You'd like a romantic partner, but after one sociopath, you're afraid of meeting another. Learn how to know when you are ready for a new partner, and how to date with awareness, so you can protect yourself from scammers and predators. Bring your questions! Dating again after the sociopath Presented by Donna Andersen, author of Lovefraud.com Wednesday, May 16, 2018 • 8-9 pm ET • $25 Highlights How to protect yourself from sociopaths Why internal healing is important Lovefraud's 3 rules of dating 10 tips for dating with awareness Staying safe with online dating The initial presentation will be recorded. If you want to …

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Book Review: Domestic violence that lead to a near-death experience

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My Sweet Encounter with Death, by Ana Christina Review by Mary Ann Glyn, LCSW Ana had two relationships with seemingly opposite personality types. Her husband of many years revealed a controlling nature early on, but as you all know, divorce is not the first thing you think of doing when things are not going well in your marriage, especially once children come, and especially if your culture and belief system dictate otherwise. Ana found herself trapped in an unbearable prison where she remained until she eventually found the strength and conviction to leave. Once freed, she reconnected with a former love whose personality appeared to be the antithesis of her ex-husband’s. She was b …

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Are these warning signs that I’m involved with a sociopath?

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Editor's Note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we'll call "Cassandra18." I've been a longtime reader of your website and wanted to thank you for what a valuable tool it is. I figured, I'd finally write in with a question of my own and I was hoping for some feedback from you. So, the thing is, I have a propensity to date very selfish, controlling people and two of my past relationships have been with verifiable sociopaths. Most recently, I have been in and out of a relationship with a man I used to work with. Something keeps telling me that something is off about him but I can't pinpoint it. Some of the warning signs that have happened while with …

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‘Liar’ by the Rollins Band — singing about a sociopath

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[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/FFyZ8QU-FgE"] Check out this music video of the hard rock song Liar by the Henry Rollins Band. It's clearly about a sociopath. What's interesting is that this song was recorded in 1994. Without Conscience, Robert Hare's book that introduced psychopaths to the world, came out in 1993. I don't know if Rollins read the book, but he is certainly describing disordered behavior. Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader. …

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My Bill Cosby experience: I definitely dodged a bullet

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Entertainer Bill Cosby, 80, was convicted of sexually assaulting Andrea Constand last week. He drugged and assaulted her in 2004. Five other women testified that he did the same thing to them back in the '80s — proving it was Cosby's pattern of conduct. The Philadelphia Inquirer has extensive coverage of the Cosby case. Click this link: Bill Cosby trial And here's a story from USA Today: A complete list of the 60 Bill Cosby accusers and their reactions to the guilty verdict I am now convinced that my personal experience with Bill Cosby was a near-miss. I was young and naive. But luckily, my guardian angels were looking out for me. I wrote about my experience when the story f …

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