Lovefraud Blog

When I talk to people who have had their hearts broken into a million pieces by a sociopath, a question that I'm frequently asked is, "How long does it take to recover?" I wish there were an easy answer to the question, but there isn't. Involvements with sociopaths cause serious damage to our emotions, psychology, health, finances, social connections — to our very lives.  What I can say is that recovery is certainly possible, but it will probably take longer than a typical breakup. Not breakup — betrayal Why is recovery from a sociopath so difficult? Because this is NOT a typical breakup — it is a profound betrayal. When normal people enter into a romantic relationship, it's becau …

How long does it take to recover from a sociopath?Read More

I remember the last Thanksgiving holiday with my sociopathic ex-husband, James Montgomery. We were fighting. He kept telling me money would come in from his business venture, and it wasn't happening. As we drove to my family's house for Thanksgiving dinner, I was still steaming. The thought popped into my head, "All I want is my money back, and then I'll get a divorce." I surprised myself. It was the first time I thought about divorce. I never did get my money back. In fact, with all that was taken from me, I had to declare bankruptcy. Still, on this Thanksgiving Day 19 years later, I have much to be grateful for. I am grateful to know the truth. My ex-husband is a sociopath, …

Grateful for the truth on ThanksgivingRead More

By Eleanor Cowan One bitterly cold winter’s morning at the Vendome metro in Montreal, I hopped a bus that would take me to a lecture on "Attentiveness and Developing Awareness" — and got a complete lesson well before I arrived at the class. The driver of the vehicle, an unsmiling muscled-bound individual, closely examined my transfer for the minute expiry hour stamped upon it. With a curt nod, I was permitted to take my seat. About two minutes later, the driver revved up the ignition for departure, but not before an elderly lady rapped on the glass door, asking for entry. The driver looked down at her, examined his watch for the ten seconds it would have taken to open the door and adm …

Overcoming the residual fear from sociopathic abuse — two steps forward, one step backRead More

Sociopaths do terrible things to us. I hear so many painful stories from Lovefraud readers — perhaps you have a similar experience: You may have had your heart shattered into a million pieces You may have lost your home, your job and all your money You may have suffered physical assault, illness, and emotional or psychological breakdown You who have lost your children, because the sociopaths got custody, poisoned the kids' minds, or both You may who have lost years of your life, time that can never be replaced Sometimes when I hear these stories, my heart just breaks. Because sometimes, as much as I would like to offer solutions, the sociopaths have enacted such total d …

5 stages of endurance to help you recover from the sociopathRead More

I've heard from multiple Lovefraud readers over the years who were annoyed, angry, horrified. These readers had finally realized what they were dealing with—a sociopath. They extricated themselves from the relationships and had no further contact with the disordered individuals. And what happened? Another sociopath came into their lives. The readers asked: What is going on? Why can't they leave me alone? Am I a sociopath magnet? The answer is, not necessarily. Following are some observations to add perspective to the situation. Millions of sociopaths These disordered individuals are everywhere. As long as we're living on this planet, we face the possibility of running into t …

After getting rid of one sociopath, another sociopath shows upRead More