How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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It’s never a fair fight with a sociopath, and that’s how they want it

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Every week, a chapter of  my book,"Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, use the links at the bottom of the post. I’ve also just released a new ebook titled Narcissists, SOCIOPATHS & Wolves: Lessons From Little Red Riding Hood. (Just click here to find it on Amazon.com Narcissists SOCIOPATHS & Wolves.) Chapter 56B:  It's Not Over Until Paul Says It's Over A month before Daniel’s half-sister was born, and after a sleepless night at his dad’s, Paul woke Daniel early and demanded he help Paul paint th …

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My sociopathic husband denied – with outrage and tears – what turned out to be the terrible truth

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In our tiny upper flat, I took all the vitamins and folic acid tablets never available to my pregnant foremothers. I ate well, our table a rainbow of green, orange and yellow every day. I drank a concoction called Tiger’s Milk, thrilled to nourish the growth of my child within, a baby I loved with all my heart. One sunny day, while Stan, my then-husband, subbed for the Toronto School Board, I sat on the carpeted floor near our tiny attic window, a pillow to my back, and gazed at an astonishing Time Life photo of a baby inside a mother’s womb. I had no idea how it had been taken, but it inspired me to draw a woven basket so full of colorful spring flowers they toppled over the sides, a wel …

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Learning that her father was a lying, cheating sociopath

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When she discovered her father, who had always been her hero, had been conducting extramarital affairs for decades, Jasmin Rosemberg, wondered if she had inherited his traits. A journalist, she wrote about her fears on LennyLetter.com: "What if I'd inherited his inability to commit, his desire to win and dominate other people rather than connect, his incapacity to truly feel and love?" The pain of her discovery, she writes, quite possibly saved her. Following in a sociopathic parent's path, on LennyLetter.com.     …

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Women aged 40-70: Be on the lookout for Internet predators like Tom Guida

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More than two years ago, Lovefraud posted about Tom Guida, age 55, of New Jersey. This guy is unbelievable. He finds women online, tells them he is a Ph.D. psychologist (lie), Special Operations military (lie), and suffering from brain cancer (lie). He tells the women he loves them (lie) and then proposes marriage. He doesn't tell them he is already married (truth). In fact, he's a bigamist. Here's the Lovefraud story: Tom Guida, aka Tom Gatto – fake psychologist, fake Special Forces, fake brain cancer patient – gets away with bigamy I just heard from another woman who was targeted by Tom Guida last week. We'll call "Marjorie." She wrote: Tom Guida is still catfishing onl …

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10 things sociopaths want from you (besides money)

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A Lovefraud reader asked the following question: If the sociopath is not in it for money (he pays for everything with no access to my accounts) then what are other reasons to stay in a relationship if he doesn't live with me nor do we share anything financially? Many of the posts I have read involve financial fraud. If a sociopath has targeted you, it's because you have something that he or she wants. Often it's money, but not always. Here are 10 more things that the sociopath may want: 1. Sex Sociopaths crave stimulation, and sex is highly stimulating, so they pursue it. However, sociopaths are not slaves to their physical urges. They often use sex primarily as a tool of …

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To a sociopath, children are simply bait and leverage

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Every week, a chapter of  my book,"Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, use the links at the bottom of the post. I’ve also just released a new ebook titled Narcissists, SOCIOPATHS & Wolves: Lessons From Little Red Riding Hood. (Just click here to find it on Amazon.com Narcissists SOCIOPATHS & Wolves.) Chapter 56A:  It's Not Over Until Paul Says It's Over Three months after the divorce became official, Daniel was at one of his hated, required weekend visits with his father when he walked by Paul’s …

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Psychologist kills his ex-wife in murder-suicide during custody battle

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Alabama police believe that Greg Scott, 63, a psychologist from Selma, killed his ex-wife, Mary Timmons Scott, 38, and then committed suicide. The couple were engaged in a custody dispute over their two young daughters. Greg Scott was found dead of a self-inflicted gunshot wound in front of a funeral home. The body of his wife was found locked in the trunk of a car. 'Daddy shot mommy': Father-of-two psychologist, 63, 'killed his ex-wife, 35, and locked her body in trunk of a car before committing suicide' amid a custody battle, on DailyMail.Co.uk.   …

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Marriage fraud: Immigrants profess love for U.S. citizens to get green cards

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Elena Maria Lopez was a victim of marriage fraud — but she's trying to do something about it. Elena met a man from the Netherlands who was "romantic and charming." (Sound familiar?) When they married, Elena was looking for a life partner. Her husband was looking for a green card. My ex-husband was Australian, but had four American wives. And I've heard from many Lovefraud readers who eventually found out their foreign spouses only married them to get citizenship. Elena sent me a link to a recent investigative report by KPRC Channel 2 in Houston, in which she told her story. Elena has also testified in Congress — trying to get lawmakers to understand that marriage fraud is a serious p …

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How long does it take to recover from a sociopath?

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When I talk to people who have had their hearts broken into a million pieces by a sociopath, a question that I'm frequently asked is, "How long does it take to recover?" I wish there were an easy answer to the question, but there isn't. Involvements with sociopaths cause serious damage to our emotions, psychology, health, finances, social connections — to our very lives.  What I can say is that recovery is certainly possible, but it will probably take longer than a typical breakup. Not breakup — betrayal Why is recovery from a sociopath so difficult? Because this is NOT a typical breakup — it is a profound betrayal. When normal people enter into a romantic relationship, it's becau …

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Grateful for the truth on Thanksgiving

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I remember the last Thanksgiving holiday with my sociopathic ex-husband, James Montgomery. We were fighting. He kept telling me money would come in from his business venture, and it wasn't happening. As we drove to my family's house for Thanksgiving dinner, I was still steaming. The thought popped into my head, "All I want is my money back, and then I'll get a divorce." I surprised myself. It was the first time I thought about divorce. I never did get my money back. In fact, with all that was taken from me, I had to declare bankruptcy. Still, on this Thanksgiving Day 19 years later, I have much to be grateful for. I am grateful to know the truth. My ex-husband is a sociopath, …

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