How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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My sociopathic husband and mind control manipulation

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A fresh pail of red barbecue sauce sat on the chef’s counter, ready to marinate overnight. The gluey liquid was lathered on dozens of orders of baby back ribs before they were grilled over flaming logs. I recall thinking, as I brushed on my rouge and applied creamy lipstick for the night shift, that the difference between the calves and myself was measurable. The instant the thought occurred, though, I dismissed it. I wondered at myself. Where did these bizarre thoughts come from? It was the day Stan told me he wanted to take a psychology course at the university. Here I was waitressing nights to keep us afloat and my husband wanted to take a pricey university psychology course about ‘s …

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Yes it looks silly, but scientific research shows EFT Tapping relieves anxiety, depression and PTSD

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[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/0ErVkIcgOns"] After the sociopath, how to feel better quickly — that was the subject line of an email that I recently sent out about Lovefraud's new webinar on Emotional Freedom Techniques, or "Tapping." "This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen," responded one of our readers. I agree — tapping does look ridiculous. My email included the above video of the instructor, Stacey Vornbrock, and me tapping on our faces with our fingertips. But guess what — EFT Tapping works, as numerous scientific studies have found. The EFT Universe website includes a bibliography of more than 100 articles published in peer-reviewed professional journals. Studi …

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If you feel an emotional void, the sociopath will step right in

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I received email from a woman whom we'll call Adriana: I am told I am a very beautiful, intelligent, fun, woman, but that is all subjective. I am 61 years old but pass for late 40's; good genes. I have been divorced for 10 years and engaged once during that time. I have dated so many men and feel that I have no purpose because I can't find “him.” I don't find most men attractive don't have chemistry with them and I don't want to settle. I have not been successful in love at all and have tried to look within myself to see my faults but the truth is I just want to love and be loved. Anyway, I am so tired of dating and getting my hopes up each time I meet someone I really am attracted t …

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Escaping the sociopath and battling B.O.B.

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Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader who posts as “stopbuggingme.” After 25 years, she realized that her husband was a sociopath. When my life fell apart a feeling arose that I really hadn’t felt before. Bitterness. I was becoming bitter. A bitter old b*tch. I called her Bob. It was like every time I opened my mouth Bob took over, spewing her bitterness everywhere! Even if I was just talking to myself, Bob would interrupt. She had to be stopped! Here are three things I used to keep Bob from living my life. Laughter Yoga My wonderful sense of humor? Bob stole it. I just couldn’t laugh anymore. It seemed too dire and felt almost fatal. Laughter Yoga (Hasya yoga) …

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If the truth is inconvenient, sociopaths lie (with great calm and conviction)

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Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 51C: The Earthquake Strikes I tried to fight the wave of despair cresting above me. I could not. Gravity won—it always does. Anguish and hopelessness pounded down, expelling the air from my lungs and the tone from my body. Yet, driven by the instincts of a mother bear protecting her cub, I pushed through the emotional train wreck and crafted a response to Paul’s email. As before, the i …

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When women ‘of a certain age’ meet sociopaths

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Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following email from a woman whom we’ll call “Annamaria17.” Donna Andersen responds below. I met the SP in 2006 and he was a supervisor for electric utility company where I live. Due to a power outage he was the Environmental Rep and came to my home.  He had just moved here from out of state and I immediately fell for him.  We had lunch the next day and that was when I found out he was married.  Unhappily of course. Over the next few months, it was agonizing as he would disappear and I had already become addicted to him, the sex and everything else about him. Long story made short, he moved in with me and a month later a friend of mine disclosed tha …

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How to spot an abusive relationship before it gets bad

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[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/ythOTBEkUZM"] Are there warning signs that a romantic relationship will turn abusive? Emphatically YES!! Lovefraud has been saying this for years, and Dr. Dina McMillan, a social psychologist, agrees. A Lovefraud reader sent me the above video of a TEDx Canberra presentation by Dr. McMillan. She says that about one in three teenage girls and women endure physical or sexual abuse from a romantic partner at least once in their lives. That adds up to 1.16 billion people. And it doesn't count those who suffer emotional and psychological abuse, but no physical abuse. Interestingly, Dr. McMillan refers to the perpetrators as "abusers," but never mentions …

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Using “projection,” Sociopaths accuse you of being manipulative and unethical, while they play the saint or victim

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Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 51B: The Earthquake Strikes Two weeks later, as Paul dropped Daniel and Jessica off at school after a mid-week overnight, Paul told them he had a girlfriend and that she was moving in. The moving van arrived from Chicago the next day, as did Linda Peters (the name from the UPS package), and her cat, Freedom. The cat’s name struck me as ironic, because anyone involved with Paul was d …

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My First Unsuspecting Year in My Marriage to an Exploiter

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By Eleanor Cowan With a sparkling wedding ring on my finger, I’d claimed a much-desired new identity – no longer the binge-drinking daughter of an alcoholic mother who’d taken her own life, no longer the thrice-raped young woman drowning in shame, but instead newly married to a handsome, highly educated university student. I’d begun a whole new chapter of life. Still, I noticed things. Little things that I dismissed. That summer of 1973, after my regular work hours at the library, I waitressed part time for the extra cash to pay for my fall university courses in Paris. While I noted my husband’s five-year high stack of unpaid student loans, I decided that his finances were none of my bu …

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Maybe this tune should be the ‘Sociopath Song’?

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[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/6ZBuRtDWJhs"] The Brothers Osborne are a hit country band that took home a couple of Academy of Country Music awards this year for Vocal Duo of the Year and New Vocal Duo of the Year. Their most recent hit single is called, It Ain't My Fault. A Lovefraud reader suggests that it could be a theme song for sociopaths. What do you think?   …

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