Finally—the word “sociopath” is being applied to a high-profile case that doesn’t involve a serial killer.
Mary Jo Buttafuoco, wife of Joey Buttafuoco, shot in the head back in 1992 by Amy Fisher, the “Long Island Lolita,” is telling her story. And the first words of the introduction are, “Joey Buttafuoco is a sociopath.”
Getting It Through My Thick Skull—Why I Stayed, What I Learned, and What Millions of People Involved with Sociopaths Need to Know, has just been released. Why did it take Mary Jo 17 years to write the book? Because it was only in 2007 that she realized the truth about Joey Buttafuoco.
Perhaps you remember the case. Mary Jo got shot. The police said her husband was having an affair with her assailant, who was 16 at the time. Joey Buttafuoco denied the affair, and Mary Jo believed him, defended him, and rallied friends and family around him. But the cops were right and she was wrong—her husband was sleeping with the teenager. Then Joey Buttafuoco said it was all Amy Fisher’s fault—and Mary Jo believed him again.
Mary Jo describes the craziness of life with her husband: how he continued to reel her back in, how she coped with the ordeal (she became addicted to painkillers) and how she finally recovered—from the addiction and from Joey. The book is co-written by Julie McCarron, a well-known celebrity collaborator, so it’s an easy read.
Mary Jo Buttafuoco has launched her media tour with an appearance today on Good Morning America. See the coverage:
Mary Jo Buttafuoco speaks out about her ex-husband Joey, the “Sociopath”
Excerpt: Getting It Through My Thick Skull/p>
In her book, this is the message Mary Jo conveys:
I wouldn’t wish marriage or an intimate relationship of any kind to a sociopath on anyone; my hope is that this book will inspire others to “get it” and get out far sooner than I did. I promise there is a great new life on the other side!
Mary Jo actually contacted me when she was starting her book, and we spoke on the phone. Now the book is done, and I hope she gets a lot of publicity. I hope a lot of people buy it—especially people who really don’t understand how many sociopaths are in the world, and what they look like. Maybe, just maybe, this book will be a big step in raising public awareness about sociopaths.
Getting It Through My Thick Skull is available now on Amazon.com.
Read part of the book on GMA this morning – I really hope that people read this and take it seriously. Mary Jo is right when she states that many years ago people didn’t know much about autism, etc. but now they do. My daughter is about to marry one and apparently also has a thick skull. She will have to see for herself, I cannot see it for her. I hope this book will be helpful to a lot of people before they get involved or to be able to leave a sociopath or perhaps finally understand what they went through. It is very difficult when you don’t know why someone acts the way they do – maybe this book will provide the knowledge someone needs.
The Good Morning America clip and the book excerpt, I thought were outstanding. So far Mary Jo is accurate and very believable. It seems Mary Jo has taken the public awareness of her tragic life, and used it to educate others and give a message of hope to those ravaged by a sociopath. Maybe she can bring the public out of the fog. I will follow with great interest how the legal experts digest this. I’m going to buy this book, and I hope she has a best seller.
Thanks to Mary Jo. And as always, thank you Donna, for your own pioneering spirit that continues to enlighten and support so many.
Don’t know much about this one but it could possibly be handbook for how to spot them! Oh Oh I wish I wish I’d been armed with this 5 years ago.
I still have days when, despite all the evidence to the contrary, I think that I was the mad one – though obviously not the person who cheated, lied, manipulated a conned that was the S’s domain.
The thing that seems to defeat alot of us in the healing process (or at least delay our self-forgiveness) seems to be their ability to ‘take us in’ and reel us back – it often seems that so many of us just can’t get beyond how we could have been soooo stupid as not to see this BUT, of course, we were looking at the whole situation through ‘normal’ eyes NOT that of an S/P/N.
Should be a good read and, hopefully, enlightening.
I hope this book opens the path wider for all the writers here on LF! I remember reading this story in the “Womens Weekly” here in Oz. It got a lot of piblicity and painted Mary Jo in a “she must be stupid” light. Its great that she has comeback to have her say and enlighten people to the TRUTH about psychopaths.
So, any mention of Amy Fisher’s possible personality disorder?
True, she was young, selfish, naive, gullible while she was involved with Joey but when I viewed a few interviews with her she showed no remorse, guilt, any form of compassion for Mary Jo, the pain and suffering she caused her.
She was one cold cookie, defiant and I believe totally aware of the extensive damage she had done to Mary Jo yet uncaring.
Wonder where she is today? If she has matured, contemplated the hell she selfishly gave to Mary Jo and is truly contrite, remorseful? Hm.
I’m glad that Mary Jo finally saw the “light”
AND her name is so recognizable that hopefully enough people will be “curious” and read her book. I think her coming uot with this is a GREAT Thing. At the time all this happened I ithink people did see her as an IDIOT to stay with this creep.
I’m with Jane as well, I think that the “Lolita” was also a personality disordered person, the two of them were durally personality disordered, a “fire and gasoline” relationship, as someone once said.
I think this book will hopefully get the word out and I hope that Mary Jo can get on sxome of the day time TV shows, like Oprah where the word will be further spread along with the NAME OF THIS PROBLEM—-educate the masses!!! TOWANDA Mary Jo!!!!!
jane,
Mary Jo actually referred to amy fisher as a ‘narcissist’ on the The View this morning! and, her definition of a sociopath was very simple, accurate and understandable.
awesome.
TOWANDA, Mary Jo!
I saw Mary Jo on “The View”. Her reason for writing the book, is the same reason that I have been documenting and writing about my 5 1/2 years with a sociopath – to educate others about these toxic people.
Every family member and friend that has asked me why did you stay, how could you let that happen, get over it – move on, etc. is going to get a copy of this book for Christmas. Maybe a little light will be shed about the workings of an S, and why getting out and over it is easier said than done.
Mary Jo – you go girl!! An inspiration for all of us!
For what it’s worth, I think that we are “lumping” toxic people with Sociopaths and that does not serve the public or us in the end. Amy Fischer could not be diagnosed at the time of the shooting simply because she was 16 years old then and personality disorders are not diagnosed at that age.
In one of the previous blogs, Donna referred to one commonality with all Ps and that is pathological lying. The word pathological already means that it significantly varies from the norm. Everyone lies, according to research, at least 5 times per day (this is something I remember was a shocking discovery for me in college). Apparently, we do this without even noticing, when we exaggerate, or misrepresent some facts. However, I disagree that “everyone knows a P”, which I think I heard Mary Jo say. The remorseless cunning lies are rare, and are hopefully not nearly as rare as toxic, mean, or otherwise unhealthy people. If we want the world to understand psychopathy, we have to make sure that the world understands that not all abusers are psychopaths, not all killers are psychopaths, and not all thieves. A man who can look into your eyes and tell you that you mean a world to him after coming back from being with a long term lover, a man who can lie in each and every direction, 100 x day with no particular care, a man who cons, lives off of you, etc. – that is my P story. I had never known such a person in my life, and I hope I never will again. All of the bloggers here have experienced the Ps, but I am not sure that we are representative of the majority (G-d I hope not).
Disclaimer: did not mean to be offensive to anyone, just wanted to share my thoughts.
Another Disclaimer: Met the guy that “Spooked” me once more. Found him to be a bore. Bore = not a psychopath. I can go see movies now.
The remorseless cunning lies are rare, and are hopefully not nearly as rare as toxic, mean, or otherwise unhealthy people… Should read as: cunning lies are rare, and HOPEFULLY are more rare than toxic, mean, or otherwise unhealthy people