Finally—the word “sociopath” is being applied to a high-profile case that doesn’t involve a serial killer.
Mary Jo Buttafuoco, wife of Joey Buttafuoco, shot in the head back in 1992 by Amy Fisher, the “Long Island Lolita,” is telling her story. And the first words of the introduction are, “Joey Buttafuoco is a sociopath.”
Getting It Through My Thick Skull—Why I Stayed, What I Learned, and What Millions of People Involved with Sociopaths Need to Know, has just been released. Why did it take Mary Jo 17 years to write the book? Because it was only in 2007 that she realized the truth about Joey Buttafuoco.
Perhaps you remember the case. Mary Jo got shot. The police said her husband was having an affair with her assailant, who was 16 at the time. Joey Buttafuoco denied the affair, and Mary Jo believed him, defended him, and rallied friends and family around him. But the cops were right and she was wrong—her husband was sleeping with the teenager. Then Joey Buttafuoco said it was all Amy Fisher’s fault—and Mary Jo believed him again.
Mary Jo describes the craziness of life with her husband: how he continued to reel her back in, how she coped with the ordeal (she became addicted to painkillers) and how she finally recovered—from the addiction and from Joey. The book is co-written by Julie McCarron, a well-known celebrity collaborator, so it’s an easy read.
Mary Jo Buttafuoco has launched her media tour with an appearance today on Good Morning America. See the coverage:
Mary Jo Buttafuoco speaks out about her ex-husband Joey, the “Sociopath”
Excerpt: Getting It Through My Thick Skull/p>
In her book, this is the message Mary Jo conveys:
I wouldn’t wish marriage or an intimate relationship of any kind to a sociopath on anyone; my hope is that this book will inspire others to “get it” and get out far sooner than I did. I promise there is a great new life on the other side!
Mary Jo actually contacted me when she was starting her book, and we spoke on the phone. Now the book is done, and I hope she gets a lot of publicity. I hope a lot of people buy it—especially people who really don’t understand how many sociopaths are in the world, and what they look like. Maybe, just maybe, this book will be a big step in raising public awareness about sociopaths.
Getting It Through My Thick Skull is available now on Amazon.com.
neveragain
LTL: The book Women Who Love too Much (which is NOT one of my favorite books, too much blame the victim) says there will never be a love as compelling as the one that recreates an original trauma. For me that was someone who treated me like I wasn’t quite good enough, that it was fine to stop speaking to me, to act like I had done something wrong when I hadn’t, to hurt me on purpose, etc.
Because they re-create what “love” felt like as a child, they are hard to get ‘over”, even when a good love comes along.
At least that was true for me. Not everyone was betrayed by love, and not everyone was re-creating a trauma unconsciously.
Tilly
Henry:
OMG I have had those exact “Last words ” said to me by two ex boyfriend psychopaths! It must be in their manual.
neveragain
But now the good news is it is no longer compelling to me….thank god! But it took a couple of years to sort it all out.
hens
Tilly what really pisses me off about it was I had made him leave several times before that, told him to go live his life somewhere else, that this is just not a healthy relationship. but in a few weeks there he would be with the pity and promises and I would take him back. I realize now he had no other options at that point, it was when he had options that he left me.. And when he chose me way back when – I was his only option at the time – I hate being an option…
Tilly
Henry,
Thank God we didn’t end up wasting a LONGER AMOUNT of our time with our “fake best relationship ever”. The longer we are with them the more they get under our skin. We will leave their OSCARS for “BEST PERFORMANCE OF THE DECADE” on their shelf where it belongs and try to recover long enough to trust someone again. xo
2MUCH2TAKE
I am so thankful for this website. I truly believe there are way more “sick-o’s” out there than we know.
I used to think people we good also. I have NEVER felt the negative emotions inside myself than I do now. I am not “out” as of yet. Much less contact, not allowing myself to be exploited as before. And told him so.
I have not “caught” him red-handed but have had soooo many red flags. About other women. I have witnessed his “neediness” to be accepted by other women, but have never caught him. The lies, lies, lies though. Unbelievable!! Out of nowhere. And much secrecy. He knows far more about me than I have ever known about him. Twenty years. I left him once. For a few years. I truly WAS left emotionally, spiritually, and mentally bankrupt. I am gleaning so much from all of you people. This is a nice place to be.
I believe we are just part of these SP’s collections. The more vulnerable and innocent, the longer they can control. What really surprises me on this web site is that they are so predictable. The conning and manipulations. And lies with no remorse or regret. Like WE deserve it.
I “rescued” my SP. He is a much better person today for knowing me. His whole family has said so. They said he would have been in prison for sure had he not met me. ~He spent some time in jail for DUI’s during our relationship. What they don’t realize is that I am so much worse of a person from knowing him! I have no trust in anyone. What a “mental vampire” he has been. I hate him for it. And I hate myself for being soo stupid. Never, ever again. I can’t wait until I get to where I hear some of you are. I due time.
banana
My STBXP(S) tells me the day he picks up DS that he needs me to meet him 12 hours early because he has a prior engagement.
I told him I wish he told me sooner. I gave him no guarantee I could.
He said he was going to his ‘rents. He was mad I didn’t have shoes on DS…he didn’t care last week, as DS has shoes at STBX’s “home”.
Then he says he’s “staying” at his ‘rents.
Q:Why didn’t he pack clothes for DS?
A:LIE he’s not staying at his ‘rents
BTW his “Prior Engagement” is in OW’s hometown or his “home”.
Q: Why?
A: He’s trying to convince me he’s living with his ‘rents. Maybe OW is away, so he needs to be back “home” so she doesn’t know he was “staying at his ‘rents”
Ahhhhhhh. Arghhhhhh.
I wish I could call him on it, but we all know there will be a million more BAD lies to try to cover it up.
Ps I am putting GPS in the Diaper bag!!!!!!now
banana
LTL said,
“Ive been toying with What if I TRY to choose to just be happy”happier thoughts”Ive been so concerned about digging deep and getting all the wounds healed and not covering up anything”and maybe Im there”maybe Im closing in on letting go and WANTING to TRY this happy thing again””
LearnedTheLesson,
I’ve found that I try to focus on the hear and now also. I feel it is important to feel the pain in order to release it, but I have found that the best place to do this is in a controlled environment like therapy. I feel that I am healing, but it is not “dragging me down” so to speak.
Blindsided,
Please don’t feel hurt that he looks to have “moved on”. I thought it hurt to be “left behind” but it was SO MUCH easier to keep NC when he was involved with his mistress.
Me thinks all is not so wonderful in wonderland. I could be wrong but I think if he was happy with her, he’d be happy seeing his son 3 days a week.
I think he is just keeping me around (yes, he wants me to want him) SORRY.
As ThornBud said…I am backstock, a bullpin. He kept Ex GF around throughout our engagement, and now he’s tried to loop her in again. Now me too.
I want out of the loop, Blindsided. This is best for your healing, and I pray that your P/S stays out of your life. Your healing will be so much easier. If he tries to come back to you, you will be tempted. Remember you are in a healthier place now.
This hooking has been hard on me. I was in a place of peace and moving forward. With him begging me and lying to me, it’s like being back in the relationship again when I knew he was still seeing her. It hurts BAD!
banana
Henry,
A good quote for you…
“Never make someone a priority who considers you an option.”
blindsided31
I cried today. I hurt today. I love your quote, banana:
“Never make someone a priority who considers you an option.” That is surely my story, of course I didn’t know it at the time.
NC – no problem now because he says he is done with me anyway, “doesn’t want to hurt me again because he doesn’t love me”. But if he contacted me again, it still would be very hard to say no. However, I did make it through the anniversary of the D&D intact.
I was told by a couple of people that he taught me to love in a way I never knew- but how sad that I was loving a “fantasy person”.
I continue to take each day as it comes and continue to read the caring comments on this blog.