BOOK REVIEW: Never Date a Dead Animal

You can certainly say one thing about Never Date a Dead Animal The Red Flags of Losers, Abusers, Cheaters and Con-Artists: It’s a book with attitude.

And perhaps attitude is just what any woman who is, was, or always seems to be tangled up with the wrong type of man needs.

Author Nancy Nichols refers to her audience “Shoe Sistas,” and exhorts all women to find their “Girlfriend Within.” Who is this girlfriend?

My Girlfriend Within is a styling, strutting fashionista; she loves designer labels, handbags, jewelry and shoes. She feels especially sassy in her red patent-leather high heels. My Girlfriend Within is my super-sized, uber-magnificent alter-ego.

I can depend on my Girlfriend Within. She helps me conquer my fears, empowers my confidence, illuminates my femininity, and embraces life with gusto. She protects me from my naivety, gullibility, poor judgment and impulsive lovesick emotions. When I am smitten by a smooth-talking, sugar-dripping, boasting man, she furrows her brow, shakes her French manicured finger and cautions me to resist emotional entanglements with him.

Then, for the next 250 pages, Nancy tells you the behaviors to watch out for, and relates anecdote after anecdote of women who fell for men who seemed to be their soul mates, only to discover that they were heartless empty shells.

Nancy warns you about narcissists, sociopaths and dirtbags. She’s not very precise about defining any personality disorder, but that didn’t bother me much. I’ve always said that from the target’s point of view, the clinical definition doesn’t matter they’re all bad news.

So the book is a rollicking rollercoaster of disordered men behaving badly, while their partners are almost too shocked to react. Nancy reveals some of her own experiences:

It was Friday night and Dr. Dirtbag slithered into town in his reptile suit with an axe. As was his customary militant strategy he took me to dinner, instigated a vicious argument, and when we returned home he physically assaulted me. It was brilliant! During his long drive to my house he premeditated an altercation between us, he invited me to dine out, and when the suitable situation presented itself at the restaurant, he suckered me into the worst fight of our relationship. In Dr. Dirtbag’s delusional screwball mind, I flirted with another man and I deserved to be punished, creating the justification he needed to trash me for his Bimbo waiting for him back home.

The real value of this book is the pages and pages of examples of men who should not be dated. If you’ve already tangled with a few of these losers, the good news is that you’re not alone.

If you’re still involved in a relationship that’s going nowhere, that’s somewhere between one-sided and abusive, perhaps you’ll find a story that’s just like yours in this book. And maybe it will be just the push you need to get out.

Never Date a Dead Animal The Red Flags of Losers, Abusers, Cheaters and Con-Artists is available on Amazon.com.