People who have not been entangled in abusive relationships often ask, “Why doesn’t she just leave?” By reading Trading Places, by Natalie Hutchison and Mary Turner Thomson, you begin to understand.
Natalie Hutchison was reproached as a child, ignored by her first husband, then physically abused by her second husband. Finally, she decided enough was enough. Natalie escaped the abuse, went back to work, started a business, and in 2006 won the Barclays Bank Trading Places award, given to individuals who overcome tremendous personal adversity to turn their lives around.
Natalie had health problems as an adolescent, and she tells how her parents reacted to her medical issues.You see the seeds of self-doubt being planted. This is how it starts. This is how some women become primed to be victims of abuse.
Then, Natalie tells her story and how she felt—and that, I believe, is the value of this story. It clearly illustrates the thought processes and emotional hooks experienced by the victims of domestic violence.
But this is a story with a happy ending. Natalie learns to trust herself, then makes a leap of faith to start her own business and rebuild her life. She leaves the pain behind to find joy and success.
Trading Places is available now in the Lovefraud Store.
Ox Drover
Dear Betty,
I’m so glad that my analogy of the Carrot and the stick helped you to clarify things and I am so glad that you are feeling better as well. I wish you well with your job search.
I turned in my license (RNP) about 6 months after my husband died, and put it on inactive status because truly I should not have people’s lives in my hands (short term memory problems etc from the PTSD) and I am actually glad I did. I could ge tit back in 30 days with some catch up courses, but the joke was “by then I would have sobered up.”
Of course it really isn’t a joke, because I do not need to be practicing when I have CRS this badly, and I did have sense enough to realize it. So much of my idenity was wound up though in BEING “Nurse oxy” and so I lost that part of my idenity too (and the income). But though your license isn’t active, I think the education and background in nursing would give you some UMPH! in any kind of hospital administration job and there are quite a few that don’t require licenses. Other jobs too. Maybe even auditing charts for insurance commpanies. Just need the knowledge for that, not the license. So keep your eyes open for some connected job that will use the experience and knowledge you have.
I am glad too that you are realizing those good feelings come from WITHIN you and you can enjoy them.
The MD’s oiffice called today and left a voice mail that the lab results were back, so we will call them back in the morning for the lab report. Keeping fingers crossed.
Have a good evening, Betty and thanks for your post and your prayers!!! (((hugs)))) Oxy
Tilly
Oxy:
I am having the two teeth pulled out. So I will look how I feel! ( like a wicked witch from down under!). But I will do your strategy..keep the swab in the mouth for class (IT WORKS). And catch up with my P teacher ….yeah, next decade. ( I love it!) lol!
Sorry your sons are going through so much, its hard to have to sit by and feel so helpless. But I know after what they have all been through that they are strong and will come out on top in the end.
I am going to try what you say with my son. Its usually money related things that they all lie about in, in regard to me. Of course.
Thankyou so much ((((Oxy))), you are always in my prayers now.
xo
Ox Drover
Dear Tilly,
There is nothing to say after these teeth are out that you can’t fake a “dry socket” (painful for weeks after an extraction) or ANOTHER abscessed and painful tooth—it is only for 3 months and you can fake being depressed and in pain for THAT long. Heck you can stand on your head in a sewer for 3 months if you know that will be the END of it! I had a job like that once, I HAD to stay there 3 months to get their clinic up and running and then I was OUT OF THERE, but if I quit, I would be OUT altogether, so I stuck it out. Was LIKE A TOOTHACHE but I made it. Used up all available sick leave and vacation time, and SCREAMED a lot after work, but made it!!! You can too, you are at least as STUBBORN and hard headed as I am, so just mark the days off the months one at a time and PRETEND TO BE DOWN, nothing a P loves more than for seeing you depressed, in pain and down so she ought to be HAPPY. FAKE IT TIL YOU MAKE IT!!!!! Huggles!
Ox Drover
ps..Tilly, thanks for the prayers, ALWAYS need them, my guys have made a lot of progress considering the air craft crash (son D was badly burned when my husband got killed in the same crash) my step dad’s illness and death, my husband’s death and all the P-chaos, but we are TOGETHER and are HERE for each other, so we are very fortunate. There are NO cross words or hateful behavior here in this house, it is FILLED with love and care for each other. It would take elephants to pull us apart! And that is a BLESSING. I pray that you and your son heal together to that point, believe me, I had about given up on C while he was married to that witch! Just keep praying God I firmly believes, gives us what we need when we need it! Keep th efaith!