One of Lovefraud's readers is Joshua Noel Tanner, a young man who is a singer-songwriter. He has personal experience with sociopaths, and has written a song called Old Father Incubus based on his experiences. I found the song to be creative, haunting and accurate. Caution: It includes narration that some readers may find to be triggering. You can buy the song, and listen to the rest of Joshua's album, on his band website. Joshua Noel Tanner band Or, you can listen to it on YouTube. [youtube_sc url=http://youtu.be/h4hU0U4v1_Y] …
New York Times article on child psychopaths
Today's New York Times Magazine has an excellent article on the signs of psychopathy in children. It presents a heartbreaking story of parents trying to cope with a "callous-unemotional" 9-year-old, and covers much of the current research on the disorder in children. Very well done. Read Can a 9-year-old be a psychopath? on NYTimes.com. Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader. …
Why laws don’t work with sociopaths
The federal Violence Against Women Act is up for renewal. This law, originally passed in 1994, provides the following programs and services: Community violence prevention programs Protections for victims who are evicted from their homes because of events related to domestic violence or stalking Funding for victim assistance services, like rape crisis centers and hotlines Programs to meet the needs of immigrant women and women of different races or ethnicities Programs and services for victims with disabilities Legal aid for survivors of violence The law has already been renewed twice, in 2000 and 2005, always without fanfare. This year, however, opponents object to expanding …
When all the world’s a stage: personas and psychopathy
By Linda Hartoonian Almas, M.S. Ed To psychopaths, life is often like a series of stage plays. They are like the play actors and they tend to keep themselves very busy, working in a variety of different productions. When they exhaust the audience pool in one venue, they move to the next. It is important to note that they may work many productions at the same time, as well. Unlike other actors, psychopaths do not worry about being type-cast. They may play evil villains on one stage and sweet, loving, misunderstood victims on the next. However, we must realize that they are just acting. In the theatres of life, psychopaths may showcase a variety of personas. What is a pers …
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Differentiating the sociopath from the borderline from the narcissist
Man, it's not easy out there. Your partner clearly has a major personality disturbance, but sometimes separating borderline, narcissistic and sociopathic behavior can be hard. Real tough. Especially when there are spill-over behaviors, cross-contaminating behaviors and attitudes (as there often are) that further muddy the diagnostic waters. Let's look at rage, for instance. Rage is a major marker of the borderline and narcissistic personality. Sociopaths, being essentially malignant, high-end narcissists, like any full-blown narcissist, are also capable of frightful, bullying, abusive rages. The borderline's rage, much like the narcissist's, tends to be elicted by disappoinment. And it's …
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The sociopathic syndrome
I recently heard from a man, whom we'll call "Jeff," who wanted to know if the woman he was involved with, "Amanda," was a sociopath. It started as a friendly involvement, with Jeff trying to help Amanda out. Amanda, who was from a foreign country, called Jeff her "best friend." Jeff eventually started to have feelings for her. But then came a series of unsettling experiences: Amanda made pornographic videos, which were posted on the Internet. Amanda worked as an escort. Jeff offered to pay her rent, so she wouldn't have to be an escort, and Amanda agreed—and continued being an escort anyway. Then Jeff asked Amanda to sign a contract promising that she wouldn't be an escort. She s …
Born bad
Two young girls adopted by a loving British couple took after their criminal biological mother. For the adoptive parents, it was a disaster. Read When Cherry adopted these 'angelic' sisters she thought a loving home would heal the wounds of their troubled past. how terrifyingly wrong she was, on DailyMail.co.uk. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader. …
When the sociopath isn’t wearing a mask
The concept of the sociopath as “masking sanity,” originally from Hervey Cleckley, MD, and since as confirmed and elaborated by other experts, is certainly chilling, great, profound and often-times apt. But I'd suggest we be careful not to apply it too indiscriminately. In other words, not all sociopaths “wear masks” in the classic sense of Cleckley's concept. For this reason, if you're looking for “masks” as a prerequisite to confirming the sociopath, you risk missing the sociopath. Some sociopaths are more manifestly who they are—sociopaths. They aren't “masking” much of anything. They aren't necessarily taking brilliant precautions to conceal themselves. Like many human beings the …
Is your stonewaller a sociopath, or someone else? Stonewalling, Part II
I wrote in my last article about stonewalling, that nefarious process (and pattern) of shutting down a partner's communication either aggressively, or passive aggressively, the effect of which is to leave the “stonewalled” partner feeling voiceless, alone, dismissed, negated as a person. Many sociopathic personalities stonewall, but many stonewallers aren't sociopaths, so how do you tell the difference? What are some signs that your partner's stonewalling is an aspect of his “sociopathy” versus, say, his high “conflict-avoidant” personality? Clearly some individuals are terrible at dealing with communication in general and conflict in particular. Their stonewalling may be mainly avoidan …
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Sociopaths, sex and power
Many, many people who were romantically involved with sociopaths have told me that the sex was amazing. Earth-moving. The best they ever had. At least, that's how it was in the beginning, while the sociopath was still reeling them in. The targets thought this amazing sex was proof of the real connection between themselves and the sociopath, proof that the two of them were wildly, deeply in love. The truth is that sociopaths are incapable of love. Oh, they're capable of feeling attraction. And they're capable of proclaiming love, very convincingly (especially when they're looking for sex). But they are not capable of genuine concern for another person's welfare, which is a key component …