It can be pretty tricky navigating the continuum of narcissistically disturbed individuals, attempting to separate the salvageables from the unsalvageables. Yet, there are two awfully basic, interrelated questions that can help you cut to the chase, and guide your decision to keep going, or cut bait. Here they are: 1) Is your partner someone who genuinely recognizes he has a problem respecting you? 2) If he genuinely recognizes this, then does he have the genuine motivation to confront his disrespectful behaviors and attitudes (be they chronic or episodic; devastating in their impact or more quietly, gradually corrosive of your goodwill)? Ultimately, it comes down to these …
Sociopaths in classic dramatic arts
Last week my husband and I went to the opera to see Carmen. We saw the opera at the beautiful Academy of Music in Philadelphia. Before the performance, an opera expert gave the background of the story and the characters. Carmen was written by Georges Bizet, and premiered in Paris in 1875. Here's the basic story, as described by Wikipedia: The story is set in Seville, Spain, around 1820, and concerns the eponymous Carmen, a beautiful gypsy with a fiery temper. Free with her love, she woos the corporal Don José, an inexperienced soldier. Their relationship leads to his rejection of his former love, mutiny against his superior, and joining a gang of smugglers. His jealousy when she turns f …
The Corporate Sociopath
Today I've decided to tackle a different subject. Why? Because once again, just this week, I've been horrified by the sociopathic behaviour of a corporation towards one of my dearest friends. This friend of mine, I'll call him Jack, is a hugely talented, dedicated professional who has worked all his life in the people industry. He is a Managing Director, and has the most incredible people-skills. Teams who work with him — even those who may have been somewhat disparate before his arrival — will galvanize together and with him to deliver outstanding results. He is, in my opinion, a superstar who genuinely cares for people and who gives his all to his employers. He's always been that way. Oh — …
BOOK REVIEW: The Psychopath Test (redux)
Back in May and June, the media blitz for The Psychopath Test, by Jon Ronson, was in full swing. I finally got around to reading the book. Ronson is a British journalist who apparently specializes in writing about nut cases. He wrote The Men Who Stare at Goats, which was made into a movie starring George Clooney and Jeff Bridges. He has a BBC radio show that, according to the New York Times book review, is considered comedy. But he's famous, and people like him. I guess I wish that he'd used his clout and notoriety to do some good with this book. Its full title is The Psychopath Test—A journey through the madness industry. The title is accurate. The book is essentially a history of how …
Comparing stockbrokers and psychopaths
Dr. Robert Hare, the guru of psychopathy, has said that if he didn't study psychopaths in prison, he'd look for them at the stock exchange. Read about new research from Switzerland actually compares stockbrokers and psychopaths. Stockbrokers more competitive, willing to take risks than psychopaths: Study, on HuffingtonPost.com. …
The sociopath takes what he wants
The “sociopath,” boiled down, is someone who routinely does, and takes, what he wants, unconcerned with the impact of his behavior on others. Nothing in my mind defines his essence more than this concise, factual description. He is rather unique, and thus diagnosable as a sociopath, to this precise extent. Sure, we've discussed this before, but it always merits, in my view, fresh reconsideration. And so let me add, I think, an important caveat: The sociopath doesn't necessarily feel he has the “right” to what he's pursuing, or planning to take. Rather, he doesn't feel he needs the right. He just needs the want. Simply wanting what he wants, with or without the right to it, meets his …
The sociopath’s predatory stare, revisited
I was recently asked to comment on the sociopath's “predatory stare,” and my first thought was to play it down somewhat. Not all sociopaths have this stare, or else it would be pretty easy to bust them for the “look.” On the other hand there's a form of the “predatory stare” that I want to remark on briefly in this short article that signals my return to the blog, again, on a more regular basis. It is really the “predatory stare,” but masked as the “romantic stare.” Again, not all sociopaths deploy the “romantic stare,” let's not kid ourselves. But some do. I've worked with many woman (and a few men) who can attest to it, and I'm sure many of you have had experience with it. What is …
Tasteless t-shirts at UK retailer
Topman, a chain of men's clothing stores in the United Kingdom, was forced to remove hundreds of sexist t-shirts from its shelves. Read 'You provoked me': Topman forced to remove T-shirts after slogans 'glamorise domestic violence' on DailyMail.co.uk. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader. …
Don’t think ‘choices’ and ‘mistakes’ are the same thing
By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired) How we define words and concepts helps us to see human behavior in a realistic way. When people make bad choices, and do bad things, things they know are wrong, they ARE still CHOICES, not accidents or mistakes, even though the consequences were unforeseen when they are caught and punished. I've frequently heard people refer to what I consider to be deliberate and knowing “choices” as “mistakes.” In the sentence, “he made a mistake and robbed a liquor store,” my inclination is to scream, “NO, he did NOT make a ”˜mistake,' he made a deliberate choice to rob a liquor store.” The mistake was he didn't figure he would get caught, and he was wrong. He got ca …
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Psychopaths in the corner suite
According to research by Dr. Paul Babiak and Dr. Robert Hare, one in 25 business leaders may be a psychopath. Their research will be presented in a BBC Horizon documentary called Are you good or evil?, Wednesday, September 7, at 9 p.m. Read One in 25 business leaders may be a psychopath, study finds, on Guardian.co.uk. Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader. …