Imagine you can make yourself invisible (at will) and, thereby, effectively innoculate yourself against the consequences of your violating behaviors. This playful scenario posits a power bordering on omnipotent. You can do what you want, when you want, to whom you want, secure in the knowledge that you can get away with it. Your invisibility effectively liberates you from the normal rules and boundaries that regulate interpersonal conduct. Now let's be honest”¦with this power, how many of us would use it for our own amusement, and to our own advantage? The true answer: most of us? Remember, I said “let's be honest.” None of us, of course, so far as I know, possesses this power, thank …
The silent (but deadly) treatment
The silent treatment is not only silent, but can be deadly. Deadly, that is, to relationships. Deadly, more specifically, to the trust, love, safety, communication and intimacy that preserve and nourish relationships. The silent treatment (also known as stonewalling) entails a partner's (the silencer) passive-aggressively refusing to communicate with the other (the silenced). Unlike avoidance (a conflict-aversion defense), the silencer deploys the silent treatment with toxic purposes in mind. The silencer's aim is, above all, to silence communication. More specifically, it is to render the other invisible and, in so doing, induce in the “other” feelings of powerlessness and shame. (Note th …
Psychopaths and predatory memory
When I was married to James Montgomery, who I believe is a psychopath, we once attended a local trade show together. We ran into a woman whom I didn't know at all and James barely knew. After about one minute of conversation, James started offering to help her with some project that she was working on. “What did you do that for?” I asked James after we continued on our way. “What?” “Offer to help that woman. You hardly know her.” “Do you know who she's married to?” James asked. It was a man that he believed could possibly be useful to his plans. Psychopaths are always on the lookout for people they might be able to manipulate. A study published last year by Canadian researchers …
SSSP meeting highlights: The psychopath’s inability to love
This week “Sarah” commenting on Lovefraud wrote: What is the biggest difference between Narcissists/Psychopaths/Sociopaths and us? The ability to love! What is one of the over-riding characteristics of the N/P/S? They are they are extremely jealous & envious and must WIN! We have something they will never have . . i.e., the ability to love. In the Mask of Sanity, the first book to describe psychopathy, Hervey Cleckley wrote: The psychopath seldom shows anything that, if the chief facts were known, would pass even in the eyes of lay observers as object love”¦ In a sense, it is absurd to maintain that the psychopath's incapacity for object love is absolute, that is, to say he is (in)ca …
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The pathological self-confidence of the sociopath
Pathologically self-centered individuals, such as sociopaths or narcissists, often project a level of self-confidence that is pathlogically tremendous. This can be a problem for others who, unlike the sociopath, will be prone to empathy and self-reflection, along with which come self-doubt and hence fluctuating, less dependable levels of confidence. But the pathologically self-centered individual is often seemingly immune to self-doubt and can thus seem implacably, impressively confident. Why? The answer is suprisingly simple: When your interest in others is principally, if not entirely, about what you can get, or take, from them; when you lack the capacity for, and/or inclination to, …
Psychopaths more likely to get out of jail
You would think parole boards would know better. After all, they deal with bad guys all day, every day, and they're supposed to decide when criminals are sufficiently rehabilitated to return to society. But a study released in January found that when psychopaths in Canada's prisons were up for parole, they were 2.5 times more likely to win conditional release than non-psychopaths. The study was conducted by Dr. Stephen Porter from Dalhousie University in Nova Scotia and published in the Journal of Legal and Criminological Psychology. It looked at 310 men who spent at least two years in a Canadian prison between 1995 and 1997. Most had committed violent crimes. Ninety of the men were …
Can a 5 year old be a psychopath?
This week while reflecting on the writings that most influenced my thinking about psychopathy/sociopathy, I received a letter from a mother of a five year-old boy whose father shows many signs of the disorder. She wrote: Do you believe that children can show signs of being psychopathic? If so do you teach them to suppress the way they really feel by masking the problems with fake feelings? Can feelings of love really be learned? Just because someone on the outside appears like they have feelings does that mean inside they have actually changed? As you know they are good actors. The skill is learned very quickly to lie to blend in with the others. I bought your book off Amazon I should be …
Is Sociopathy A Perversion?
Is sociopathy a perversion? If yes, a perversion of what? And if it is a perversion, does this compel us to revisit the sociopaths' culpability for his transgressions? After all, perversions imply antisocial, irrepressible impulses. If an impulse is irrepressible, or unsuppressible, how culpable is its expresser? I think a good case can be made that sociopathy is a perversion—a perversion of personality characterized by the unsuppressible tendency to exploit others. It's not so much a question of the sociopath's sanity: most sociopaths, by criminal standards, are sane. Then again, so are most kleptomaniacs. When I refer to the sociopath's unsuppressible tendency to exploit, I mean u …
Sex differences in antisocial behavior (part 4):Personality explains it all
Can sex differences in personality traits help to explain sex differences in antisocial behavior? Over the past month we have been discussing the results of the Dunedin Study of the development of antisocial behavior. In this study, researchers got to know over a thousand people through self reports, interviews, interviews of friends, teachers, parents and significant others, and official school/arrest records. One finding was a higher rate of antisocial behavior in males as compared to females. The study also explored the causes of the observed sex difference. The Dunedin findings Among both males and females antisocial behavior was positive associated with aggression, alienation, and …
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Sex differences in antisocial behavior (part 3)
Antisocial behavior is behavior that harms others or infringes on their rights. Sociopaths are antisocial in that this behavior has become a lifestyle for them. Although some might say that this lifestyle is “learned” volumes of research show that genes determine who learns this lifestyle. Furthermore, the learning begins in childhood and adolescence. In the last few weeks we have been discussing some of the findings of researchers who followed over 1000 people born in Dunedin, New Zealand in 1972. This week we will see how they answered the following questions: 1. Are men more violent than women? 2. Is antisocial behavior stable in individuals over time? 3. Is the degree of stability t …