How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Questions that best identify sociopathy in a person

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It really bothers me that researchers haven't developed a measure to help people figure out if their loved ones are sociopathic. Instead, measures have been developed and the public is told NOT to use them to “diagnose” anyone. What good is research if it doesn't teach people how to protect themselves? It would not be too difficult to identify a group of sociopaths, then determine a few easy questions related to the disorder most of the sociopaths answer yes or no to (that is sensitivity). The questions would be even better if non-sociopaths were unlikely to give the same response (that is specificity). In a recent study (Comp. Psych. 48, 529), Dr. Heather Gelhorn and her colleagues from …

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Differentiating narcissists and psychopaths

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Editor's note: This article was submitted by Steve Becker, LCSW, CH.T, who has a private psychotherapy, hypnotherapy, and clinical consulting practice in New Jersey, USA. For more information, visit his website, powercommunicating.com. We can begin by noting something that both narcissists and psychopaths share: a tendency to regard others as objects more than persons. Immediately this raises concerns: you don't have to empathize with objects; objects don't have feelings worth recognizing. You can toy with objects; manipulate and exploit them for your own gratification, with a paucity of guilt. Welcome to the world of the narcissist and psychopath. Theirs is a mindset of immediate, …

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ASK DR. LEEDOM: Are sociopaths (and psychopaths) vindictive?

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A woman who married and had children with two different sociopathic men wrote us this week. Her story and questions are timely since they allow me to mention another upcoming book, the conference Donna and I attended last weekend and to discuss vindictiveness. It seems most women who have children with sociopaths end up with the sociopaths walking out on their children as well as the women, leaving the survivors to mop up and struggle to understand what happened on their own. From what I understand of sociopaths, the prevalent attitude they seem to behave as if they "don't care" about anything except doing what benefits them”¦ (she told her story of marriage, children, custody battles and …

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The psychopath’s bewildering ways of talking

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A reader says: "I kept wondering what was going on in his head. I could never follow his thinking. I think he might have been into alcohol and drugs and that in itself messes the brain, and along with his other personality disorders, sure makes for a confusing relationship." The thinking patterns of the psychopath are indeed weird. It seems there are biological and intentional reasons for this. In others words, he is unable to think very logically PLUS he intends to mislead. No wonder he is hard to follow! Below I list several factors which together make the psychopath a most bamboozling character. The odd speech of psychopaths The psychopath makes "frequent use of contradictory …

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ASK DR. LEEDOM: Are there psychological tactics for dealing with a psychopath?

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I received this question from a woman who is divorcing a man she believes has the traits of a psychopath (according to the psychopathy checklist): “What psychological tactics can you suggest in dealing with a psychopath? There must be some tools and strategies to stay a step ahead. I've read books on identifying liars and tried to educate myself on strengthening my position in recognizing The Predator. There has to be some guidelines somewhere on How to Ride That Horse. I have had hundreds of horses throughout my life and pride myself on being able to ride anyone that crosses my path. Although this horse has been the most difficult and I continue to be dragged, trampled and kicked, I …

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Nothing says “I’m sexy” like an automatic weapon

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Allow me to introduce the "Babe" who could be Drew Peterson's next wife. She is Kumari Fulbright, a young lady who participated in the Miss Arizona pageant as Miss Pima County in 2005, and Miss Desert Sun in 2006, who also reportedly serves as a law clerk for U.S. District Judge Raner Collins. Here, she is pictured as Miss May in a calendar for Subguns.com (www.title2media.com, photo used with permission). See ABC News for the complete story. But Drew Peterson and the rest of you guys had better watch out because sweet little Kumari "is accused, along with three men, of tying up her 24-year-old ex-boyfriend with plastic cable and duct tape, and holding him captive for hours in two …

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A female serial killer

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The Deccan Herald newspaper in Bangalore, India reports on the arrest of a female serial killer, 43 year old Mallika. The story can be read here and here. Serial killers are actually very rare creatures, and the female of the species is truly unusual. Perhaps that is good reason not to make a big deal about something so rare. One thing, though, caught my eye and made me think lovefraud readers may be interested too. I'll summarise the story and you tell me what you think. Here's what raised my eyebrow She allegedly committed all the murders single-handedly and for gain. She is no psychopath, the commissioner said. …

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What does the psychopath ‘do’ with this diagnosis?

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LoveFraud reader buzzibee raises some important issues in a recent comment. How does a tested and proven psychopath usually respond to being told “You have a mental disorder. You are characteristically a psychopath”? Are [they] so arrogant to dispute a medical diagnosis that they have a mental disorder? Do they display any desire to learn more about the disorder and at any point admit to it? In order to be diagnosed as a psychopath, a person needs a score of 30 out of a possible 40 on the Psychotherapy Checklist-Revised test (PCL-R). This is a very time-consuming test which only trained personnel can administer, so by and large only prisoners and research subjects are likely to have it. …

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A common verbal ploy of the psychopath

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This is my first post on the LoveFraud blog. It's a great pleasure to be part of this most worthwhile effort to teach people to recognise and avoid sociopaths. (Or psychopaths, as I prefer.) Over at my blog - the top two inches - I have been thinking and writing about something that psychopaths invariably do to deflect things away from themselves and onto others. Perhaps you've encountered it: the psychopath does something wrong, but the moment attention is drawn to this he (usually it's he) magically causes you to feel bad. Here are a few examples: 1. The wifebeater says: "Why are you making me do this!?" Consequently she may think: "It's true, I shouldn't do X [usually something …

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Should I warn the sociopath’s next victim?

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As many of us have painfully learned, before sociopaths dump one victim, they usually have already targeted another. In the following letter, a Lovefraud reader asked what she should do about the new victim: I am finally away from the sociopath, although he still continues to contact me from time to time demanding money. He has a new target—as always, a financially secure woman, vulnerable and he has "given her a shoulder to cry on." Her father just died, her mother has cancer and she stands to inherit some valuable land and she is already "hooked" thinking that he is "so caring" and "has been there for her and she for him." He has told her I left him took all his money, etc.—the same story …

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