Dorothy Hooks is a Christian woman who tries to live by the Bible. When she met Cedric Youngblood, she saw a man who never had a chance. His family life as a child had been abusive. He had been in and out of jail. Dorothy saw someone who just needed to get out of the ghetto and learn the meaning of love and family. In Dorothy, Cedric saw a giving, caring woman who wants to do the right thing and help people.In other words, Cedric saw a target. Last week, the Cedric Youngblood story was posted on Lovefraud.com. Dorothy courageously talks about her marriage to the man who she now realizes is a sociopath. But for more than three years, Dorothy focused on Cedric's potential, hoping he would …
Why do we say sociopaths are like animals?
"He's an animal!" is a statement commonly made regarding sociopaths. To those like me who love animals, this comparison is a bit distasteful. However, this week we will see that this statement may indeed be true. Previously, I introduced the idea of the Inner Triangle. The Inner Triangle is a way to understand the hows and whys of sociopathy, and to predict how a sociopath will behave in a given situation. The Inner Triangle consists of our Ability to Love, Impulse Control, and Moral Reasoning. I have already described Ability to Love and Impulse Control, and the relationship these have to the disorder. This week we will discuss the Moral Reasoning of sociopaths. Animals do not possess …
“Would somebody please tell me why he did this!”
“Would somebody please tell me why he did this?” is one of the most common questions victims of sociopaths have. Three weeks ago I introduced the idea that the Inner Triangle can help each of us understand the individual sociopath that infected our lives. The Inner Triangle is formed by three qualities that develop in concert during childhood. These three qualities are Ability to Love, Impulse Control and Moral Reasoning. Last week I discussed the concept of Ability to Love. Lack of Ability to Love defines those with sociopathy. No less important however, is the lack of Impulse Control, also universally found in people with this disorder. What is Impulse Control? I'm sure many of you not …
Sociopaths and their smear campaigns
Lovefraud received the following letter from a woman who was married to a sociopath for 16 years. I was a stay-at-home mom until my son entered kindergarten, then I got a job. This was the end of any peace I would have for 10 years. The worst possible thing happened to my husband—the woman he could make fun of for being stupid or having no goals (whatever he would say to hurt my self-esteem) became a huge success. In fact, I made three times as much as Mr. Wonderful. The abuse escalated. He was so obsessed with destroying me that even on a business trip where I was getting an award for being the top sales rep in my company, he was pulling my boss aside and insinuating I was committing fraud …
The Inner Triangle: a means of understanding sociopaths
April, 2003, nearly four years ago, the police removed my then husband from my office in handcuffs. Following his arrest, the stories came rolling in. People called to say, “I never told you this but”¦” When the shock of it all wore off, I had to admit I had failed to make the most important diagnosis of my life, that of sociopathy in the man I married. I knew I had to understand, for the sake of my son and myself, why I missed this diagnosis. What did I not understand about sociopathy? Sociopathic traits versus sociopathy I have always been very well read in my field, so the problem was not that I was unfamiliar with DSM diagnostic criteria, The Mask of Sanity, or Without Conscience. I als …
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Why have sociopaths failed to develop a conscience?
Sociopaths are described as individuals “without conscience.” Specifically, sociopaths lack conscience because they are unable to experience guilt and empathy. To understand how sociopathy develops, we must understand how guilt and empathy develop. Scientists have begun to understand how guilt develops in children. Studies show that children who experience the most fear experience the most guilt. Children who are fearless have little guilt and less inhibition when it comes to violating rules. Is fearlessness inborn? It seems that fearlessness is an inborn trait, as children under a year old have been identified with this trait. There are however, researchers who believe that some of our ch …
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Telling our stories of being targeted by sociopaths
Sociopaths have no heart, no conscience and no remorse. They purposely drain the life out of people and then throw them away. Despite their charming and charismatic veneer, they are evil to the core. In my opinion, the people who truly understand this personality disorder are those who felt the full brunt of sociopathic deceit, and then woke up to the truth. We, the former targets, remember the promises of love and luxury, and how it all seemed so possible. We remember the confusion—how reality didn't match the promises, and the excuses that explained away the discrepancies. We remember attempting to express misgivings, only to be told we were crazy. We, the former targets, also remember t …
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Sociopaths don’t respond to punishment
In response to last week's entry, Sociopathy and the fearless child one of our readers (Bobby) wrote of his brother, "He was often punished - usually by being sent to bed without his meal - but he would repeat the same behavior as if nothing had happened." This statement illustrates why the usual parenting does not work with children at risk to develop into sociopaths. They do not respond to punishment! Parents of sociopaths are often blamed Tragically, the parents of sociopaths are often blamed for the presence of this condition in their offspring. The belief of many is, He wouldn't be a sociopath if his parents had taught him right from wrong. The belief that "discipline" will cure …
Sociopaths get out of jail–or try to
“True Lovefraud Stories” on Lovefraud.com is a collection of case studies about people who lied their way into the lives of others, leaving a wake of destruction. Some committed fraud. Some committed bigamy. Some committed murder. Five of the perpetrators in the True Lovefraud Stories received jail terms for their actions. Of the five, three are out of prison and two, claiming innocence, are appealing their convictions. Ed Hicks Ed Hicks was convicted of bigamy in Virginia on March 6, 2006. He was sentenced to a year in prison. With credit for the time already served, he was expected to remain incarcerated until the end of 2006. Due to his good behavior in prison, he was released on …
Sociopathy and the fearless child
Many have expressed doubt that a condition as complex as sociopathy can be genetic. The doubters aside, studies of identical twins separated at birth and raised by non-relatives do clearly show the condition is genetic. The question now is, “Just what is inherited?” Genes interact with environment Although sociopathy is genetic, it is not inherited in the same way as many other traits, for example, eye color. The genes that cause sociopathy do so by making a child vulnerable to certain environmental influences. A child can have the genes but if he is not exposed to the triggering environment, he will not develop the condition. Fearlessness an important precursor to both sociopathy an …