How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Sociopaths and forced teaming – ‘we’re in this together’

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By O.N. Ward Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the link at the bottom of the post. Chapter 2: Please Pay No Attention To The Man Behind The Curtain This probably sounds like the beginning of a love story, a second chance for two people moving on after unsuccessful first marriages. That is how I viewed it at the time, but I was wrong. I would not figure it out for twenty years, but the man to whom I was so attracted was, and is, a sociopath. Already, he was us …

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Date Differently: How to recognize, escape and heal from sociopaths

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  Donna Andersen is today's featured interview in this important series for women: Spot the Frogs and Find the Prince How to Date Differently and Create the Love You Crave In this interview, you'll learn: How to spot the Red Flags of Love Fraud Why women don't listen to warnings about romantic partners Risk factors that make women vulnerable to sociopaths Three steps for protecting yourself from sociopaths The surprising silver lining of being involved with a sociopath This is a great interview packed with information. It is available FREE online, but only until April 19. So if you want to hear it, sign up today. Spot the Frogs and Find the Prince How to Date Differently …

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After the sociopath, date differently

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  Many women, after realizing they were romantically involved with a sociopath, say they'll never get involved in a relationship again. I do agree that you should refrain from dating for a while, maybe a long while, until you are reasonably healed from your experience. But "never" is a really long time. If you never engage your heart again, the sociopath will win permanently. And that would be a crying shame. But how do you try again? You fell for the lies once. Can you trust yourself to spot a predator? To help women who want to move forward, my friend, Teagin Maddox, is producing a free series of interviews with recovery and relationship experts, including me. It's called: Spot …

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Victims of Sociopaths and Victim Blamers

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Searching for inspiration for this post, I stumbled across some pretty unattractive, “victim blaming” directed to someone who had been involved in a relationship with a person who is likely a sociopath. Victim Blaming  I find victim blaming unattractive for humanitarian and moral reasons, but I also find a deep irony in victim blaming—that the person accusing others of naivety and a lack of insight about human behavior, is in fact, themselves, displaying profound naivety and a lack of insight about human behavior. It's as if they are assuming that all people have the same experiences and opportunities, hence if someone is deceived by a sociopath, it can only be due to that person's inherent w …

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Prosecutor says teacher accused of sexual contact with his student married her so she won’t testify

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Alabama math teacher Matthew Shane Wester, 38, was indicted for having sexual contact with a student, Amy Nicole Cox. So he divorced his wife, and two months later, married his alleged victim. Blount County District Attorney Pamela Case calls the marriage a "sham." She says Wester married the girl so she couldn't be forced to testify against him. 'The marriage is a sham:' Teacher, 38, married his eighteen-year-old student just 67 days after divorcing his first wife to avoid having to testify in trial, says DA, on DailyMail.com. …

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Sociopaths Serve Up Double Standards

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Double standards are one of the many hallmarks of being in a relationship with a sociopath. Trust me, as a well-educated woman who was taught that she could hold her own with any man, I didn't think I had married someone who viewed me as a puppet and whose only purpose for me was to service his needs. But, as months slipped into years, profound double standards emerged in my relationship with "Paul." Of course, now that I believe Paul is a sociopath, I understand that Paul held these double standards all along. Although he did not display them at first, at some point, they became part of the poisonous air I breathed. Double Standards Deliver Double Benefits For A Sociopath These double …

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If you’re a domestic abuse survivor, a researcher wants to know about your experience

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Hello. My name is Courtney Humeny and I am a PhD candidate in Cognitive Science at Carleton University in Ottawa, Canada. I am carrying out an online study on survivors of romantic relationships with psychopathic partners. If you are interested in learning more please see the details below: Who we are recruiting The “Emotion, resilience, and post-traumatic growth in domestic abuse survivors” study investigates the outcome of being in an abusive romantic relationship. We are looking for participants (aged over 18) who identify as being in a prior heterosexual abusive romantic relationship. Abusive experiences may include verbal/ emotional abuse (i.e., bullying, manipulation), coercion (i.e., …

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Sociopaths: Setting The Stage For Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde Behavior

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Below is an edited excerpt from my book that spotlights how my ex-husband's, subtle, consistent, insidious devaluation of me throughout or marriage helped set the stage for his Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde behavior. Devaluing Everyday Tasks One of "Paul's" favorite chronic erosion techniques was to devalue the need to do a task. If I went ahead and did the job, he showed no appreciation. Instead, he ridiculed me, because the task was clearly unnecessary. This technique not only got him off the hook, it had the added bonus of devaluing much of what I did. Help mop up the basement? Just turn on a dehumidifier. Help shovel snow? His car could easily plow through it. Why did I even need to leave the …

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He was either the most incredible person I ever met, or a deplorable monster

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Adelaide." Names are changed. I met Joe at a bar. It was the first time I ever went out alone. I was forcing myself to do new things on my own. Trying to prove to myself I did not need a man beside me to do the things I wanted to do. After I ordered my drink I started to feel uncomfortable. I noticed a jukebox and thought it would give me some comfort to hear some music I enjoy. So, I went to put in my selections. When I turned back around I noticed someone sitting in my chair. All my belongings had been pushed to the side. But my drink remained right where I left it. I immediately got angry ... wrinkled my …

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On The Sociopath’s Menu– Kernels Of Truth With A Side of Word Salad

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A crazy-making, confidence-eroding weapon many sociopaths wield is their skill with words. Below is an edited excerpt from my book that highlights how my ex-husband ("Paul") manipulated our marital therapist. ”¦The therapist looked at me and said, “Have you ever asked Paul if he's having an affair?” “No, I guess not,” I responded. “Maybe you should.” “Now?” “Why not?” the therapist replied. “Paul,” I said, “are you having an affair with Anne-Marie?”   Turning the Tables “I am so hurt that you would even think that,” Paul replied, appearing genuinely concerned. Notice, he did not answer the question. Instead, he used the diversion tactics of trying to elicit pity and putting me on the def …

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