Recovery from a sociopath

Lovefraud recently received the following e-mail from a reader: How do I process a relationship that had so many lies in it that I don't know really with whom I was involved? I miss the person I thought I knew so much, but at the same time, he was involved with someone else, and others, since at least last June. I thought he had had one affair—but not anything to the extent that it looks like now. How do I process a relationship I never had? Was he lying the whole time acting out the "I love you's", the romantic comments, and the idea that we should be together? Is it all an act? Most of us are reading and posting on Lovefraud because we were intensely, callously, brutally deceived i …

Getting over the relationship that didn’t existRead More

Lovefraud recently received the following e-mail from a reader: I have a question for you. I've been divorced for 3 years now from my ex-husband who had a porn addiction. I've tried the Internet dating sites on and off since, and have had nothing but bad experiences. What do you suggest I do/ how do I go about finding someone? I am really lonely and would like to have a man in my life. However, I'm so afraid of attracting the wrong kind still. If you have any suggestions, I'd be happy to hear them. If you've had a run-in with a sociopath, before attempting to date again, you must first heal yourself. If you're feeling lonely and afraid, it is an indication that you are not yet healed. I …

How to attract a new relationship after the sociopathRead More

If after dealing with a sociopath you're feeling stuck, even trapped, in your life, EFT Tapping can help you break free and move forward. It's an amazing technique that can heal deep emotional wounds, calm PTSD, and overcome health problems. I'm not kidding. EFT stands for Emotional Freedom Technique. Tapping is what you do with your fingers, you tap specific accupressure points, mostly on your face, while bringing to mind the situation that you want to address. This changes the energetic connection between your memory or perception of the situation and specific structures in your brain. When the energy changes, your life changes.   This stuff works. I've used it myself, and I've …

Learn to use EFT Tapping to heal your life – FREE 10-day online summit starts 2/27Read More

Book Review: Healing from Hidden Abuse, by Shannon Thomas, LCSW Review by Donna Andersen Mind games everyone who has tangled with a sociopath, psychopath, narcissist or other exploiter knows them. The sociopath makes a statement, and then denies ever saying the words. You call out the sociopath's bad behavior, and it's all turned around on you. And the lies well, the objective of lies is to poison your perceptions. The more formal term for this destructive behavior is psychological abuse. And now there's a book that explains exactly what psychological abuse is, why perpetrators engage in it, and the steps of recovery. Healing from Hidden Abuse —A Journey Through the Stages of R …

Identifying and recovering from psychological abuseRead More

Just about every day, Lovefraud receives e-mail from readers who are looking for answers about confusing, contradictory and abusive behavior exhibited by people in their lives. The new readers don't understand what they are dealing with; they just tell, either in a few paragraphs or lengthy compositions, their stories. The e-mails describe some or many of the following behaviors: Pathological lying Pity plays Shallow emotions Devalue and discard Cheating or promiscuity Addiction to drugs or alcohol Controlling demands Financial irresponsibility Manipulation of children Broken promises Claims of “you made me do it” Pleas of “I'll never do it again” The …

Identifying sociopathic behavior is easy; giving advice is hardRead More

Lovefraud recently received the following e-mail from a reader—we'll call her Sally: It's been almost four years since I left my ex psychopath. He almost had me take my own life through guilt, when it was him lying, cheating, committing fraud, you name it—a textbook case. The reason I write to you today, however, is I am so sad and disappointed in myself yet again. Four years and I thought I was over the damage done by the psychopath so I stepped out of my comfort zone to contact an old friend I had not seen since before the psychopath came into my life. I made a decision to visit my male friend and we had a nice time. When I returned I started analysing the situation. Was my friend ju …

If our emotions are triggered, there’s more pain to processRead More

How do you get through the season of joy and hope when a lying, destructive, individual has wreaked havoc in your life? First, be gentle with yourself. You are a normal, caring, person. Perhaps you wanted to love and be loved, as all normal people do. Perhaps you felt sorry for the individual and wanted to help. Your intentions were honorable, but the exploiter took advantage of your humanity. Second, honor your experience. What does that mean? It means accepting that it happened. Much of the pain and confusion of tangling with a sociopath comes from not wanting to believe that these individuals are what they are, and they do what they do. Accepting that yes, they exist, and yes, you were …

For the holidays, give yourself the gift of honoring your experienceRead More