How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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In the wake of a sociopath, feel better with Energy Medicine

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[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/Di5Ua44iuXc"] Involvements with sociopaths are often called "toxic." This is totally appropriate, because whether these predators engage in subtle manipulation and deceit that leaves you wondering what is "off," or whether they inflict outright emotional, physical, financial and sexual abuse, your body, mind and spirit are flooded with toxins. Sustained sociopathic exploitation drains you. Eventually, you can become so physically, emotionally and psychologically depleted that it becomes difficult to handle day-to-day life, let alone the drama of the sociopath. But to escape and recover from the sociopath, you need your strength. How can you rebuild it? …

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Everyone’s Ex is a Psychopath

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Hello, Lovefraud Readers. A quick reintroduction: I'm Helen Beverly, an author and psychotherapist who writes under the name H.G. Beverly. I was married to a psychopath for over a decade and am still dealing with the challenges of raising our children "together" in a society that struggles to deal with psychopathy. I've written some posts about those challenges that you can find archived here on Lovefraud. Also, I published my memoir, The Other Side of Charm, in 2014 and am now releasing my next book one chapter at a time. You can find it here and on my blog at hgbeverly.com. It's called My Ex is a Psychopath, But I Am Strong and Free. This book details my healing journey despite failed sy …

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The Road: A woman’s journey through domestic abuse

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Editor's note: The following was written by a Lovefraud reader. By Cynthia Creswell I took the road that shouldn't be traveled, so alluring was this path! Decadent flowers framed the entrance, the sweet smells of their majestic perfume luring me in, dripping with promises. The trees' flowering branches beckoned me in as though the crook of a finger, enticing me to enjoy its nectar. I listened to the call as it promised me things it knew I wanted; the soft, lush grass under my feet as to make my journey easier, the promise of sunshine to warm my soul, the glistening of dew covered foliage to pleasure my eyes and cool my brow... 'Come here to rest' it beckoned, 'let me care for you.' Unable to …

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This Year There’s a Parasitic Sociopath without a Host

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Weak Parasite, Strong Host One of my old friends said she saw SP still showing up to our old church.  She said that he didn't look attractive anymore and looks like he's lost himself.  I thought to myself, well he lost his HOST, that's why; well all the while, I feel great!  My health is improving, I'm eating well, sleeping well, it's amazing. I made my way out,  and I will continue to take whatever steps necessary to maintain that no contact.  I am now almost 2 years post divorce, and a year and a half of no contact.  Usually at the end of the year, there is a reflective time of that previous year, but for me, I am reflecting on when I first decided to move out of my house with my daughter, …

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7 Surprising Reasons Why Loving a Cheater Is Actually a Gift

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This article, by Donna Andersen, was originally published on YourTango.com. Your partner is a heartless, unrepentant cheater. Here's why it could be good for you. My ex-husband cheated as a way of life. He carried on affairs with at least six women (that I know of) during our relationship—which was amazing, considering we were only together for two and a half years. He had a child with one of those women. And then, 10 days after I left him—not after we divorced, after I left him—he married the mother of the child. It was the second time he committed bigamy. Sorting through the file boxes full of papers he left behind—the guy was a packrat—I discovered evidence that during the seven or so …

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Cancer at Christmas – Living in a Sociopath’s World

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When Things Were I used to be so good at taking care of things like decorating my house for Christmas with shades of red, green and gold, carefully outlining dark corners with beautiful, gleaming lights to create that wonderful, cozy ambiance of a home filled with love and joy—the way it should feel at Christmas time. There were carefully thought out, warm meals prepared, music filling the crisp air, homemade Christmas sweets to grab on the way out the door, and soft, warm blankets on every couch for that last minute snuggle.  I would intentionally direct my energies towards evoking wonder with my family and daughter every day of December. Denial of Darkness I lived in my own reality of den …

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Jacqueline Kraft Bruno: 6 Ways to Heal the Feminine Spirit after Abuse

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By Jacqueline Kraft Bruno You may have identified you have been in a relationship with a narcissist, or a sociopath or a sociopathic-narcissist. You may have read and re-read the signs and symptoms. Maybe you have compared your stories with those of others who have walked the same road. Perhaps you have felt shock, anger and grief, at the realizations of who you were really with. Maybe you're wondering why. Why did I choose this person, or why did I let this person choose me? Maybe you're ready to start moving past it but find yourself reliving the past or the feelings of the past. Now what? For me, there wasn't a one stop solution for healing from the complex-trauma left behind when the …

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How can a run-in with a sociopath be a spiritual journey?

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This post refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. My first book is entitled, Love Fraud how marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan.  I imagine that for many of you, your reaction to this title is, "Huh?" God is good, right? The Universe is supposed to support us, right? So how can there possibly be anything spiritual about having your life trampled by a sociopath? Believe me, as I was in the midst of the struggle, I asked those questions. Except in my pleadings with my Higher Power, I wasn't so polite. As you can see from my wedding video, I was well and truly duped into marrying James Montgomery. He presented …

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When You “Lose Yourself” Due To A Sociopath, Recovery Is Hard–Really Hard

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If I hear one more reporter or talk show host ask a victim of partner abuse, “Why did you stay?” and not really listen to the answer or not try to understand the psychology of how emotional, psychological, financial, and/or physical abuse can rewire your brain and murder your soul, I will scream. I want to scream because I don't think the interviewer is really looking for an answer. We Are Strong, They Were Weak Instead, it's as if the questioner is seeking to label the victim as “weak” and “not like us.” This creates a sense that the victim is different, and that perceived difference creates the comforting illusion that it could never happen to us or someone like us.  After all: We are stro …

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How to work with your brain to so you can feel better

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Dealing with sociopaths and the havoc they create crushes your sense of wellbeing, mood, self-esteem, confidence and happiness. In short, sociopaths make you miserable. Sometimes all you want is to feel better. Eric Barker wrote an article on BusinessInsider.com about how to feel happier. He summarized the work of multiple neuroscientists to come up with four steps you can take that will improve your outlook. They are: Ask "What am I grateful for?" Label negative emotions Make a decision Touch someone These aren't just "feel good" platitudes the suggestions are based on what affects your brain. Take these steps and you just might start to feel better. And that will enable you to deal with …

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