How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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The sociopath has changed me and I will never be the same: Part 1 of 3

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader in Belgium, whom we'll call "Enora." I had always considered myself to be an intelligent and confident woman. I had the college degrees and the high profile job to prove that. I was making very good money and people looked up to me. I was working in Brussels, at the top of the Belgian political establishment and in my hometown, I was elected as the president of the social welfare department, which was the second most important job in the city, next to the mayor. I had been single for a year, after leaving a bad relationship with an alcoholic. Working was my way of trying to forget my loneliness and the fact that, at age 31, …

The sociopath has changed me and I will never be the same: Part 1 of 3Read More

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: He wanted to drive her car, but didn’t want their child

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader who posts as "ifiwereabird29." I met him in 2009 at my job. He asked me for my number and his wit and funny personality won me over. The first night we talked, we talked for 6 hours straight. I was completely mesmerized. At the end of conversing, he stated, “You and I will be dealing with each other for a long time.” I was elated. I had graduated from college two years prior and I was certainly ready for love. I wasn't the girl who guys often pursued so when he pursued me, I was wide open! I had many red flags but chose to ignore them out of pure desperation. I will admit that I was too ready to jump into a relationship. The …

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‘Magnetic first gaze’ – a poem about my experience with a sociopath

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Editor's note: A Lovefraud reader, Ashley K, sends the following: I recently went through an awful experience with a man who I truly believed was trying to be my friend. A few months ago I woke up to what his true intentions were when his actions weren't matching up with his words and he initiated a discussion with me regarding developing romantic feelings for me. I was targeted by a man who I strongly believe is sociopathic. To complicate matters, he started dating my friend, who I think became the apath and I am the empath. I told my husband and my friend exactly what happened - my husband was upset but forgiving. My friend's words indicated that she believed his story, which, of course, …

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With her intense rage, lack of remorse and hate, she seems “possessed”

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Mario." My wife peed in my drinking water then turned down the lights and then laughed after I drank one gulp. She spent the night with a lesbian lover the night my grandmother died. She told me she didn't care that our 1 year old daughter was falling off the bed 3 feet to a concrete floor, raised a fist to punch my 15 year old daughter in the face 3 times, punched me in the back of the head multiple times, pinched her fingertips together to cut my face to shreds while I was holding my computer trying to load the car to leave, threw car keys, plates, ceramic mugs, and punches at me while I was holding our 9 …

With her intense rage, lack of remorse and hate, she seems “possessed”Read More

The professional sociopath: an embezzler and tax cheat

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Charlotte." I was married for almost 28 years. As the years went on, our marriage changed--especially after we had children. I noticed some lapses in parenting--carelessness, not following through on routines, etc. (Though I must say I was not aware of what a good marriage should look like, coming as I did from a narcissistic family background. I put up with way too much bad behavior, even initially.) I began to realize my husband was immature and irresponsible. He also was controlling, especially about money. I often felt gas-lighted by my husband: He would agree to something, then deny it, or spin it. …

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My sociopathic ex-husband is 100% committed to destroying my life

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Editor's note: The following story was received from a Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "Emilie." I was married to one. I left him for another one whom I've dated for over a year. My marriage ended with a violent incident. He is awaiting a criminal trial and is out of jail on bail. He is facing two child endangerment charges and was still awarded 50% custody of our two young boys. He fired a shot while we were fleeing to safety and the judge denied my restraining order, believing his testimony that he fired the shot to get me to stop and go back to talk to him. The case was appealed and again I was denied a restraining order. He is now harassing me by exploiting the legal system to control …

My sociopathic ex-husband is 100% committed to destroying my lifeRead More

He was the most cold, detached individual I ever met in my life

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a woman whom we'll call "Veronica Lee." Little did I know as a young woman to be aware of the signs. He was so callous, he lacked empathy, he had no reciprocation of any kindness, he was aloof, he always blamed others for all his circumstances in life and as a child. I felt so sorry for him. He was the most cold, detached individual I had ever met in my life. I began to get so sick from mold exposure in the apartments we lived in. Then his mother and he decided to buy a fixer upper home that had severe water damage or sick building syndrome. I was misdiagnosed for over 23 years for a disease I never had. I was treated for that …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Deception from the first encounter, and every single day thereafter

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader who posts as "amille2." When my boyfriend..........or should I say the man I thought was my boyfriend...........walked out the door a couple of days ago, I told him I felt like I had been sucker punched. He replied, "No, you haven't" and shut the door. Just two days before that, I read his wife/girlfriend?'s grandmother's obituary whereby he was listed as the husband/significant other. The physical jolt that went through my body was immense ........... followed by the sound of every lie I had been told for the past 5 years clicking open in front of me to see ........... really see this time. Then they all came crashing down …

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Deception from the first encounter, and every single day thereafterRead More

After 30 years with a sociopath, she’s now having the time of her life

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a 67-year-old woman whom we'll call "Maura." Lied, cheated, used me and others. Serial adultery, pornography, probable bisexual behaviors, never used condoms. I didn't know about the adultery until much later. He suffered a head injury, and I mistakenly attributed his bad behaviors to that. Violent and aggressive. Marital fraud; some possessions, like a boat and trailer, "disappeared." Claimed money and objects were stolen, but never reported thefts to the police. Nagged and pestered me constantly to buy large items, mostly vehicles, that we couldn't afford. Developed "hobbies" that kept him away from home on a regular …

After 30 years with a sociopath, she’s now having the time of her lifeRead More

Married to a sociopathic pastor for 55 years

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we'll call "Caroltta." I am 72 ”¦ was married 12/60 ”¦ found out in 1/14 my husband, a pastor for 45 yrs., committed adultery @ every pastorate. In fact, he says he has no idea how many x's & does not remember all the women. There was incest involved in his promiscuous life. He considered divorce for many of his women, but knew he could not preach after that, so his last girlfriend convinced him to murder me & they had a plan which did not work out because I told him I was retiring & he could come with me or not. He has been afraid to do anything, because it would mean no further contact with his child …

Married to a sociopathic pastor for 55 yearsRead More