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Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales

You are here: Home / Archives for Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales
beach with shell

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I learned that I am strong and extremely capable

January 23, 2014 //  by Lovefraud Reader//  3 Comments

Editor's Note: Sarah Strudwick, based in the UK, is author of "Dark Souls Healing and recovering from toxic relationships." By Sarah Strudwick It has been nearly four years since I sold my house as a result of what happened with the man I call “Oliver” in my book. Occasionally I still get the odd email from readers who tell me how much the book has helped them. At the time of selling our family home I wasn't sure whether it would be possible to have a stable financial future ever again. With a pile of debts looming and two properties that were literally falling apart I certainly didn't know what my future would hold. Like most people, I've fallen down before but it certainly wasn't at …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I learned that I am strong and extremely capableRead More

Category: Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales, Recovery from a sociopath, Seduced by a sociopath

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: How do you learn to trust again?

January 21, 2014 //  by Lovefraud Reader//  11 Comments

Editor's note: This letter was sent in from Lovefraud reader wandergirl7. While reading through a magazine on "how to write" I came upon a phrase that completely caught my interest. "If it didn't have to be pretty, what would you write?" Life isn't all peaches and cream and your writing shouldn't be either. It is often quoted that what happens in your life, especially the incidents that cause you hurt, loss and pain, are lessons. Do things really happen for a reason? What is the reason and who is arranging the scenes? Yes, you could be in the wrong place at the wrong time or the other way around, the right place. Luck could fall upon you. Disaster strikes! There are no simplified answers. …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: How do you learn to trust again?Read More

Category: Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales

A child waiting for daddy.

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Document. Document. Document.

January 17, 2014 //  by Lovefraud Reader//  3 Comments

Editor's note: The following letter was received from a Lovefraud reader whom we'll call “Gianna.” When I left my ex he always promised me he would never let me have the kids. I have custody of our children, but he has not left me alone. Contempt motions Recently, we were back in court for a contempt motion he had filed against me. The magistrate stated I was not in contempt, but proceeded to set a date for a full day hearing anyway. My ex played the missing-the-kids-wanting-more-time-with-them card, so even though I didn't violate anything we are supposed to work out a better visitation schedule for him — one that gives him more time than Local Rules outline. Now, even though I am not …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Document. Document. Document.Read More

Category: Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales, Sociopaths and family

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: With this man, I felt physically ‘poisoned’

January 11, 2014 //  by Lovefraud Reader//  14 Comments

Editor's note: The following letter was received from a Lovefraud reader named Paula. Dear Donna, I read your story and the one about Lance Larabee. The man I was friends with was also a pilot, so that one caught my eye. I must say that I felt physically "sick" hearing all of the just disgusting ways in which Lance violated boundaries with his poor girlfriend despite her very obviously courageous attempts to "protect" herself with all those promissory notes. By the end of the story, it was predictable that expecting him to write his life insurance policy over to her in order to pay her back would never happen. I could almost see him laughing at that, which made me literally feel …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: With this man, I felt physically ‘poisoned’Read More

Category: Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales, Seduced by a sociopath

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I loved him and supported him … all while he was lying, cheating and using me

January 10, 2014 //  by Lovefraud Reader//  19 Comments

Editor's note: The following letter was received from a Lovefraud reader whom we'll call “Nicolette.” Names have been changed. I met “Jackson” online. I wasn't looking for a relationship exactly, just checking to see what was out there. He was the very first person to message me and he was exactly my type. We became Facebook friends and chatted for a couple days he seemed to have all the same interests — art, music, travel, etc. He seemed to have lived an interesting life as a touring musician in some well known bands. Now, he had just moved back to Florida, bought a house, and was building a recording studio in his home. That was his big new venture and he was confident with his connecti …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I loved him and supported him … all while he was lying, cheating and using meRead More

Category: Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales, Seduced by a sociopath

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I have NO family now, my sister has turned them all against me

January 3, 2014 //  by Lovefraud Reader//  18 Comments

Editor's note: The following letter was received from a Lovefraud reader whom we'll call  "Arabella." Names have been changed. I've been searching and searching for someone who understands. However, for me it's not a lover ”¦ but my older sister, who has taken great pleasure in trying to destroy me. Strangely though, I'm wondering if my mother is also touched with psychopathy. Her emotional reactions to things are very questionable. When she's been with me and my sister, mum has never raised an eyebrow at some of the REALLY awful provocations. My older brother has treated me like dirt on so many occasions.  Mum sides with him no matter what he does. Mum also made a mistake of telling me …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I have NO family now, my sister has turned them all against meRead More

Category: Female sociopaths, Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Advice for relatives of elder abuse victims hooked by sociopaths

December 29, 2013 //  by Lovefraud Reader//  3 Comments

Editor's note: The following letter was received from a Lovefraud reader. Many years ago my wealthy (and elderly) widower father entered into a relationship with a sociopathic woman. She is very charming and beautiful. This was marriage number four for her. Her last marriage had been completely predatory. My father's health is good, his mind is sharp but his memory is failing. The more his memory fails, the more his wife isolates him. She does this in brazen and cruel ways too numerous to write about here in this short note. She also encouraged him to drink alcohol and take potent sleeping pills. He was hospitalized several times for overdose. My father has a substantial estate and it …

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Advice for relatives of elder abuse victims hooked by sociopathsRead More

Category: Female sociopaths, Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales, Sociopaths and family

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: An intense relationship, until he threw me back

December 28, 2013 //  by Lovefraud Reader//  65 Comments

Editor's note: This letter was sent in by Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "Renata." I know, as far as abuse stories go, this isn't a doozy. I'm sure other women and men have gone through far worse. And that is precisely why I want to share my story, because, even though this guy isn't a major abuser, he's a manipulative, conniving and voracious predator. He will believe he is using his charm and "kindness" to befriend women who are vulnerable and heartbroken, giving them something to feel good about, over and over. He will lead them down the rosy garden path, all the while knowing that he has NO intention of reciprocating a safe and loving relationship. He only uses his "victims" for …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: An intense relationship, until he threw me backRead More

Category: Explaining the sociopath, Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales, Seduced by a sociopath

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: The menacing spirit

December 13, 2013 //  by Lovefraud Reader//  29 Comments

Editor's note: The following article was written by Lovefraud reader "Carmella" and refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery.  The subject that I've been deliberating very long and hard about posting is very sticky, very personal, and somewhat spiritually volatile, but as I reflect, I begin to see how this phenomenon has followed me throughout my life from its very beginnings. I realize that my exposure to this psychological/spiritual archetype had even caused me to "join the ranks" temporarily as I (and here is the irony) searched for an escape from it. The archetype of which I speak is that of the menacing spirit the spirit of the bored, …

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: The menacing spiritRead More

Category: Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales, Recovery from a sociopath, Spiritual and energetic recovery

Letter to Lovefraud: Is his goal to break me?

December 8, 2013 //  by Donna Andersen//  23 Comments

Editor's Note: This Letter to Lovefraud is from a Lovefraud Reader whom we'll call  “Aubree.” Names have been changed. I recently got out of a two year relationship with a person who I believe is a sociopath, or at the very least an extremely vengeful borderline. When we first got together, he told me that he used to have a habit of going to bars, finding the prettiest and most confident-looking woman there, and proceeding to go up to her and start picking on her and making fun of her for something that he suspected she might be insecure about. For example, if he saw a girl who was beautiful but wasn't stick-thin, he'd go up to her and start making snide remarks about her weight. He said h …

Letter to Lovefraud: Is his goal to break me?Read More

Category: Explaining the sociopath, Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales

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Lovefraud Blog Recent Comments

  • recovery46 on LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: He assured me he would never, could never hurt me like that again: “Bernice—it’s 2025 and my experience with the spath was EXACTLY the same! I kept rereading bc all the details were…”
  • sept4 on LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Letting go of monetary justice is releasing the ties that bind: “This is what I actually struggle with most now that I am a decade out of divorce. I did not…”
  • Donna Andersen on 10 Crucial strategies for leaving the sociopath: “Good point! Thank you”
  • sept4 on 10 Crucial strategies for leaving the sociopath: “All very true and very good advice. I would like to add that too can always call police if you…”
  • eleanoreliza1234 on When bad behavior shows symptoms, not flaws  : “What a beautifully composed response by Emilie 18! Reassuring to know that others have experienced the same. Thank you, Emilie.”

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