Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from the reader who posts as “Duped no more!" {A brief definition of my breaking NC, after almost 9 months, and a brief explanation of the experience and what I would say if I had to explain it to someone else. I had to send it to myself because there is nobody else but you who would understand ”¦} "I went back for you, with my heart in my hand and you just devoured it with no care nor consceince." Nothing has changed; don't listen no more; don't go back! This is it. I have seen and heard what I needed to and now it's time to move forward once and for all. I have set myself free. The last few text messages that I sent, t …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: See, smell, taste, hear and feel freedom
Editor's note: The following essay was submitted by a Lovefraud reader, who has discovered that she can find healing from her encounter with a sociopath through writing. Awakened Senses By Nancy Voelker I see ”¦ a field as I drive through the countryside. We had a picnic and laid looking at clouds, bodies entwined. I smell ”¦ smoke from a chimney. His arms were wrapped around me as music played softly and we watched the flames dance. I taste ”¦ butter on my finger as I make dinner in my quiet kitchen. We spent an afternoon boiling lobsters and gorging ourselves. Kissing butter off our chins. I hear ”¦ a song playing as I wander through the bookstore alone. He grabbed me and …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: My biggest regret is that my girls were forced to do what I decided
Editor's note: The Lovefraud reader who posts as “Missymooz” sent the following e-mail. I also was married to a sociopath!! For 15 years!!!! We had 4 children together, bought homes together etc., etc. I just left (for the third time) 2 months ago. I would like to tell my story, just in case it may help someone else out there. I feel very stupid to have stayed for so long. But here goes: I met him briefly when I was only 16, but we both went our separate ways. I married another guy when I was 19. This marriage dissolved when I was 25, and guess who was there to lick my wounds??? It all seemed like fate!! So I dated him for a while, and craving a child by then (my first husband did not w …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I never thought I was capable of being duped
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader who we'll call "Rhonda." Hello Lovefraud …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Losing the fear of What Ifs
Editor's Note: This is another email from the Lovefraud reader whom we're calling “Adelle.” She previously contributed, Are you seeing someone else? I finally left my SP and like the alka-seltzer commercial used to say, “Oh what a relief it is.” My decision to leave was made a long time ago. Today I thought to myself, “Why didn't I do this sooner?” I didn't do it sooner because of fear, of course. I had so many “What Ifs?” I never questioned whether it was in my best interest, I knew it was. The “What Ifs?” were in reference to him. What if he contacts my friends and tries to make me look bad? What if he does damage to my car so that I can't get around? What if he hacks my email and st …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Are you seeing someone else?
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader who we'll call “Adelle.” A little over a month after leaving an abusive relationship and refusing to have any type of communication with him, he asks if I'm seeing someone else, as if that would be the only way I could get over him, or as if after such a hurricane of a relationship anyone would be inspired to move right into another. Could it be that I finally opened my eyes, that I finally picked myself up from the floor along with my self-esteem? As I walked the other day, I pondered on that question, “Are you seeing someone else?” I'd like to answer that if I may! Yes, indeed, I am seeing someone else. I am seeing …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Male and female sociopaths have remarkable similarities
Editor's Note: The Lovefraud reader “PressEject” has written several insightful Letters to Lovefraud about his involvements with sociopathic men. You can read them here: Finding sanity after the sociopath (part 1) Finding sanity after the sociopath (part 2) Pulled in by the child in the sociopath As a bisexual person, PressEject was most recently romantically involved with a woman who also turned out to be disordered. In this post, he compares the two experiences. By PressEject There was absolutely NOTHING in her emails that asked me to find with her (together) some kind of understanding or resolution. Instead it was like she was writing the script for everything, for …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Raped-unzel
Editor's note: The following email was sent by a Lovefraud reader, “Pamela.” She was married to a sociopath and subject to domestic violence. She previously submitted a piece called All Alone. Raped-unzel let her hair down and a batterer climbed up. Mr. No-Longer-Charming had seduced her with lying words and false promises, and now she lay married to a man that called her a whore. Oh—and said he loved her, too, usually soon after he called her a whore. Raped-unzel said to Mr. No-Longer-Charming: "Don't confuse me with comatose Sleeping Beauty over there, in that fairy tale. I can see through your lies, straight down to your true colors." So, she is in The Flip Side of the Fairy …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Pornography Effect 101
By Marilisa Walker Following a heart wrenching break up of our nearly 11-year marriage, and after he ran our Chamber of Commerce award-winning businesses into the ground, stole all my money and drove off in our only car on a sizzling hot summer afternoon in August while I was taking a nap, I experienced "an overwhelming and overpowering feeling of not being able to make sense of it"—which is what I logged in my journal four months later. Throwing myself on the kitchen floor and sobbing uncontrollably, while these antics provided some emotional relief but horrified my dog—yet was I still left with an irreconcilable quandary. If I could only make sense of what happened between my hus …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Winning a court battle with a sociopath
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader who we'll call “Juliet.” Juliet negotiated a settlement with her ex, the father of her daughter. Names and locations have been changed. In the final papers, I am moving to Delaware and he gets supervised visits in Delaware (until age eight) for much longer than I would have if I were forced to fight in court and let the judge decide. Plus I am not paying for him to visit in Delaware. He agreed to pay child support of $450 once he gets a job. My daughter won't leave Delaware with him until age 10, and she won't fly alone to California until age 12. And she only can leave for California over spring break and summer vacat …
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