Editor's note: This artice was written by the Lovefraud reader who posts as "One/joy_step_at_a_time." I have been thinking a lot about Donna's May 28 blog thread, If you feel an emotional void, the sociopath will step in, and the responses to it. Tonight I took a long walk and sat down by the lake and thought about what the spath drew out in me. She showed me ”˜the gap.' It's humourous to me to type the phrase ”˜the gap.' When I lived in Eastern Europe, I heard a phrase over the loud speakers at the train station, over and over again. I finally asked a friend the meaning of the phrase, and he told me it meant, ”˜mind the gap between the platform and the train.' I haven't minded the g …
LETTERS TO LOVE FRAUD: When life ain’t fair
Editor's Note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader called “Adelade.” Her previous post is "This is the time for me to learn who I am." I'm having a really tough time, these days. The divorce hearing is coming down to the wire, and I am very fearful that the sociopath ex-husband is going to walk away from his crimes, unscathed. Last week, I had a discussion with someone whose husband is an attorney. She works in his office whenever she can to help him with his busy practice. We were discussing the facts of my divorce, and she said several things that caused a mild onset of anxiety, but I began to cogitate about the US and State legal systems that have not been ove …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: The Old Me and the New Me
Editor's note: The following was sent by a long-time Lovefraud reader who posts as "Aloha Traveler." February 16, 2012 Dear LF Readers, I found this article below as I was cleaning up my computer files and thought I would submit it. I wonder if anyone else has the experience of the “Old Me and New Me.” I hope you enjoy. See below. Aloha P.S. I left the Bad Man on July 3, 2005. So the below article has been hiding in the Aloha archives. :O) * * * * * Dear LoveFraud Readers, A little over 4 years ago, I was a post Bad Man train wreck. My life was a shambles on the outside and my insides matched. Today, though I am in a much better place, I am still struggling with som …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: See, smell, taste, hear and feel freedom
Editor's note: The following essay was submitted by a Lovefraud reader, who has discovered that she can find healing from her encounter with a sociopath through writing. Awakened Senses By Nancy Voelker I see ”¦ a field as I drive through the countryside. We had a picnic and laid looking at clouds, bodies entwined. I smell ”¦ smoke from a chimney. His arms were wrapped around me as music played softly and we watched the flames dance. I taste ”¦ butter on my finger as I make dinner in my quiet kitchen. We spent an afternoon boiling lobsters and gorging ourselves. Kissing butter off our chins. I hear ”¦ a song playing as I wander through the bookstore alone. He grabbed me and …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I never thought I was capable of being duped
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader who we'll call "Rhonda." Hello Lovefraud …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Are you seeing someone else?
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader who we'll call “Adelle.” A little over a month after leaving an abusive relationship and refusing to have any type of communication with him, he asks if I'm seeing someone else, as if that would be the only way I could get over him, or as if after such a hurricane of a relationship anyone would be inspired to move right into another. Could it be that I finally opened my eyes, that I finally picked myself up from the floor along with my self-esteem? As I walked the other day, I pondered on that question, “Are you seeing someone else?” I'd like to answer that if I may! Yes, indeed, I am seeing someone else. I am seeing …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Male and female sociopaths have remarkable similarities
Editor's Note: The Lovefraud reader “PressEject” has written several insightful Letters to Lovefraud about his involvements with sociopathic men. You can read them here: Finding sanity after the sociopath (part 1) Finding sanity after the sociopath (part 2) Pulled in by the child in the sociopath As a bisexual person, PressEject was most recently romantically involved with a woman who also turned out to be disordered. In this post, he compares the two experiences. By PressEject There was absolutely NOTHING in her emails that asked me to find with her (together) some kind of understanding or resolution. Instead it was like she was writing the script for everything, for …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Raped-unzel
Editor's note: The following email was sent by a Lovefraud reader, “Pamela.” She was married to a sociopath and subject to domestic violence. She previously submitted a piece called All Alone. Raped-unzel let her hair down and a batterer climbed up. Mr. No-Longer-Charming had seduced her with lying words and false promises, and now she lay married to a man that called her a whore. Oh—and said he loved her, too, usually soon after he called her a whore. Raped-unzel said to Mr. No-Longer-Charming: "Don't confuse me with comatose Sleeping Beauty over there, in that fairy tale. I can see through your lies, straight down to your true colors." So, she is in The Flip Side of the Fairy …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Pornography Effect 101
By Marilisa Walker Following a heart wrenching break up of our nearly 11-year marriage, and after he ran our Chamber of Commerce award-winning businesses into the ground, stole all my money and drove off in our only car on a sizzling hot summer afternoon in August while I was taking a nap, I experienced "an overwhelming and overpowering feeling of not being able to make sense of it"—which is what I logged in my journal four months later. Throwing myself on the kitchen floor and sobbing uncontrollably, while these antics provided some emotional relief but horrified my dog—yet was I still left with an irreconcilable quandary. If I could only make sense of what happened between my hus …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Winning a court battle with a sociopath
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader who we'll call “Juliet.” Juliet negotiated a settlement with her ex, the father of her daughter. Names and locations have been changed. In the final papers, I am moving to Delaware and he gets supervised visits in Delaware (until age eight) for much longer than I would have if I were forced to fight in court and let the judge decide. Plus I am not paying for him to visit in Delaware. He agreed to pay child support of $450 once he gets a job. My daughter won't leave Delaware with him until age 10, and she won't fly alone to California until age 12. And she only can leave for California over spring break and summer vacat …
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