Editor's note: Lovefraud received this e-mail from a man who posts as “Drained.' I guess I have been in a bit of a hole for a while now and have generally been going through a rough time, which in hindsight may have made me ripe for the picking by my sociopathic ex girlfriend. I had been unhappy in a previous long term relationship (prior to meeting my SP) for a considerable time, my ex partner is an amazing person, however we grew apart and were more suited as friends than lovers. I had been in this relationship for 12 years. My father passed away last year after losing his battle with cancer, which was incredibly hard to watch. I have been battling depression for some time and have a …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Recovering from the con man
Editor's note: Andrew J. Harper wasn't who he said he was. He wasn't a professional drag racer and he didn't own properties in Europe. But at least 17 women in Australia, New Zealand and the United States believed him—and many lost money because they did. Two of his victims, Diana Mors, who posts on Lovefraud as “AJH_Victim1,” and Rebecca Bell, worked together to find the truth, and the con man was finally arrested in October, 2010. The women told their story in the January 2011 issue of The Australian Woman's Weekly, and then in the North West Star. Read: ”˜How I caught a con man' on NorthWestStar.com.au With the publicity, the women have been contacted by many victim …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: ‘O like Umbrella,’ and the shut down mechanism
Editor's note: The following was written by the Lovefraud reader who posts as “Quest.” As most of us know what its like to be a psychopath victim, I am not going to go into all the details of my relationship with a full-blown psychopathic woman that turned my life into a living hell in just 18 months. What I really want to talk about is the mental effects that this woman was able to inflict upon me without my conscious realisation, gaslighting it's called. Just so there is a little background, I am a 55-year-old male and split from my ex psychopath female mate three years ago. We were in a relationship for 18 months. At the time we split up, I knew the relationship was beyond repair, bu …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Complaint against the magistrate
Editor's note: The Lovefraud reader who writes as "Aussiegirl" will be in court on December 6, 2010, seeking an extension of the Violence Restraining Order that she has against her ex-husband. She was already in court On October 18, 2010, because her ex had violated the existing order. The magistrate didn't take Aussiegirl seriously, and she's lodged the following complaint against him. Aussiegirl asks for your moral support during her next court date. I write in relation to the conduct of a Magistrate who tried my ex-husband for a breach to a Violence Restraining Order (VRO) at the **** Courthouse on Monday 18th October this year. My complaint is not about the judicial decision reached …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Things people say
Last week, Lovefraud posted a letter from “Cybil,” I did not choose this guy. Here's more of her experience. I'll call this, “Things people say, part II.” This is the other one that bugs me: "You're paranoid." I always have a good 24 hours of self-doubt before I realize they're the ones that are nuts, not me. I know a lot more about what crazy stuff is out there in the world than your average, never-tangled-with-a-sociopath human does. I just went to a seminar of a national expert on how domestic violence leads to murder, especially for women. Over and over he said, "Trust your instinct." He told the audience to take women seriously when they have these stories (like those on this blog) …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I did not choose this guy
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following e-mail from a woman who we'll call, “Cybil.” She was married to a sociopath, and is now raising two toddlers, paying 75%+ of their support, and being run into the courts, stalked, threatened and harassed. Today I was thinking about this comment I get a lot from the supposed "resources" I have. What I have found is that there really is not much in the way for resources out there for abused women. Even my family, who have been helpful and are starting to "get it" little by little, can be a little backhanded in their support. The comment goes like this: "Well, you chose this guy. You chose to have kids with this guy." It is always said after …
LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: I fear for my granddaughter’s life
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following e-mail from a reader whom we'll call “Veronica.” She fears for her granddaughter's life, and it appears that she has reason to. I'm desperate and very afraid. I hope you can help and help quickly. My daughter was married to a man, who by all accounts, appeared to be the most wonderful guy in the world. It wasn't until after she left him that she finally confided in me as to the truth of their relationship and I was horrified. I know he is definitely a sociopath. For 5 years he made her life a living hell. The only reason she stayed with him she said was because it was the only way to protect her daughter. She left him over a year ago, a …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: ‘Good Guy’ Gone Terribly Wrong
Editor's Note: October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Lovefraud received the following story from a woman who went public with her experience in order to draw attention to this terrible problem. The name she uses on Lovefraud is “Tormented.” In 2008, I divorced my husband of 18 years due to differences that unfortunately we couldn't work out. We have three amazing children together and remain good friends in spite of our divorce, which has made things much easier for all of us. Just five months after the divorce, I met a man who charmed me from the very beginning. I thought he was wonderful, and I quickly fell head over heels for him. A former county deputy sheriff, presently wor …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Should I warn the next victim?
Lovefraud recently received the following e-mail from a reader who posts as “forever_me:” Hello. I am looking for some guidance. I was in a romantic relationship with a P for over 2 years, but just broke it off earlier this week. I discovered that he was using an online dating site and was able to access it because I knew the patterns of his passwords. I created a bogus profile on the same website and contacted one of the women he was messaging. She was shocked to hear from me because my P told her he was single and not dating anyone. What was worse was that they had engaged in unprotected sex a few days before my P and I had unprotected sex. We agreed to meet each other to discuss the det …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Will I be able to prove it?
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following e-mail from the reader who posts as “Hehadme39.” Okay, I became involved with my psychopath in Dec. 2008. I ended our relationship in July 2010. During the course of this relationship he took advantage of me in several ways. The first time he took advantage of me I came to find out he was committing a mass amount of fraud. Not only with me and my financial information but with several others' financial information. I kicked him out took the evidence I had to the police. The Secret Service and the FBI got involved as well as the Department of Education. There was a mountain of evidence I delivered to them but in the end, I was told by a TX …