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Lovefraud Continuing Education

7 Social Science Insights that Will Help You Understand Why It’s Not So Easy to “Just Get the Hell Out”

Amber AultBy Amber Ault, Ph.D.

One of the many difficult questions survivors of toxic relationships ask themselves is “why is it so hard to leave someone who treats me so badly?” As rational people, we recognize that a relationship is extremely problematic and believe that the rational course of action would be just to stop the drama.

And yet.

And yet, this is usually harder than it sounds.

While there are practical and logistical barriers to people exiting, the emotional resistance to leaving is usually present even when there aren’t kids or property or business deals or divorce laws slowing us down.

What accounts for this? Why is it so common?

Social science has some insights that help … Read more

Help for Overcoming the Trauma of Facing the Abuser in Court

Woman in courtAfter suffering the trauma of domestic violence, many victims are terrified to face their abusers in court. The federal Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) can offer support, so in recognition of Domestic Violence Awareness Month, Lovefraud Continuing Education presents the online course, “Surviving Court When You’re Traumatized” on Oct. 17 and 25, 2016.

Domestic violence victims often suffer from anxiety, depression and post-traumatic stress disorder, explains Dr. Karin Huffer, an adjunct professor at the John Jay College of Criminal Justice and author of the course. When victims must appear in court with the abuser for divorce, child custody or other legal matters, their symptoms may make it impossible for them to respond appropriately and participate fully.

“If the … Read more

Leaving abusive relationships is especially hard for people in minority communities

Amber AultBy Amber Ault, Ph.D., MSW

Partners in abusive relationships with psychopaths, narcissists, and other disordered individuals often suffer in silence. This is especially true in marginalized communities.

Partners’ silence reinforces their isolation and reduces their capacity to end abuse and exploitation in these relationships.

What stops a partner from seeking help? Among the barriers to reaching out for a reality check and support for leaving are these common factors:

Shame. Partners worry that their association with a toxic person reflects poorly on them, and that others will judge them if they know about the abuse they are tolerating. If they’ve left and returned, the shame feels greater. Partners also often want to protect the “good reputation” of … Read more

Leaving abusive relationships is especially hard for lesbians – what therapists need to know

Due to shame, fear and hopelessness, anyone caught in an abusive relationship finds it difficult to leave. But for lesbians, who already feel stigmatized, the barriers to seeking help are even greater.

“Therapists may hold stereotypes that intimate partner violence doesn’t occur in same-sex relationships between women, or that in the absence of physical violence, same-sex relationships do not include cycles of abuse,” says Dr. Amber Ault, a clinical sociologist and psychotherapist based in Madison, Wisconsin. “Women in same-sex relationships often hold the same beliefs.”

Plus, lesbians often worry about protecting the reputation of their … Read more

Helping children overcome genetic risk for externalizing disorders

 

Liane_SSSP_crop copyBy Liane J. Leedom, M.D.

Imagine loving someone, having children with that person, and then realizing that you’ve gotten yourself involved in an abusive relationship.

Imagine suspecting that your partner, the mother or father of your children, has a personality disorder and then hearing that personality disorders are highly genetic.

If you’re a therapist, imagine this person is your client. What do you do?

I believe we can and should intervene in the lives of children who are at risk of developing externalizing disorders, such as ADHD, conduct disorder, oppositional defiant disorder, and substance use disorders. If we do, we may be able to prevent these children from developing personality disorders as adults.

When we study large … Read more

What teachers need to know about sociopaths and abusive dating

The smartest way to deal with love fraud is to prevent it, to teach people how to spot it before they get hooked.

That’s why I love presenting to students and teachers. Knowledge is power, and knowledge that sociopaths exist, and that they usually start their lying and manipulation in high school, gives young people the power to protect themselves.

The newest program offered by Lovefraud Continuing Education is geared directly towards teachers and other education professionals. It is a video of a presentation I did last year for the Association of Student Assistance Professionals … Read more

Specific parenting strategies may help children at risk for developing personality disorders

Many Lovefraud readers have loved  someone, had children with that person, and then realized that you’ve gotten yourself involved in an abusive relationship.

You suspect that your partner, the mother or father of your children, has a personality disorder and then you hear that personality disorders are highly genetic.

What do you do? And if you’re a therapist, how do you help a client in this situation?

Starting September 14, Dr. Liane Leedom will present a four-part webinar series called Overcoming Children’s Genetic Risk for Externalizing Disorders. It is designed for mental health professionals and … Read more

Coping with Stalking: How to overcome fear and fight back

Lovefraud Continuing Education webinar
Coping with Stalking: How to overcome fear and fight back strategies from a woman who’s done it
Presented by Vicki Kuper
Monday, August 29, 2016 • 8-9 p.m. Eastern
More info

Someone won’t leave you alone. This person follows you, calls or texts constantly, shows up at your home or workplace, sends you unwanted gifts, or threatens you. As a result, you feel vulnerable, unsafe, anxious, stressed and afraid. You are being stalked.

Vicki Kuper knows exactly what you’re going through. She lived it. The man who stalked her called her … Read more

When we stop wishing the past were different, we can recover from destructive relationships

Travis F. Vining

Travis F. Vining

Lovefraud Continuing Education webinar:
The Miracle in The Madness —Pathway to healing from destructive relationships
Presented by Travis F. Vining
Thursday, Sept. 8, 2016 • 8-9 p.m. ET
More info

By Travis F. Vining

It may sound silly, or even impossible to some who read this, but all we need to change the misery in our lives from pain to joy is a simple realignment of our perspective. Experience reveals the truth in this statement, but unfortunately, the process that facilitates this shift from misery to miracle is one of the most widely misunderstood concepts in the world ”¦ forgiveness.

Not only is forgiveness commonly misunderstood, but in some cases, it is intensely disliked and … Read more

Tina Swithin, author of ‘Divorcing a Narcissist’ to explain what they’re talking about

TinaSwithin_200x282Divorcing a narcissist is my superpower — what is yours? 

By Tina Swithin, author of OneMomsBattle.com and Divorcing a Narcissist

In 2009, I discovered that there is only one thing worse than being married to a narcissist and that is divorcing a narcissist. Being someone who cringes at the mere thought of conflict, I was not prepared for the onslaught of attacks, lies and character assassinations that were launched at me.

Even though I had been told by a therapist that my ex-husband was a “narcissist,” I had no idea that the horrific attacks were to be expected while going through a divorce with someone who suffers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Email, text messages and the telephone became Read more

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