Editor's note: The following article was written by Lovefraud reader "Carmella" and refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. The subject that I've been deliberating very long and hard about posting is very sticky, very personal, and somewhat spiritually volatile, but as I reflect, I begin to see how this phenomenon has followed me throughout my life from its very beginnings. I realize that my exposure to this psychological/spiritual archetype had even caused me to "join the ranks" temporarily as I (and here is the irony) searched for an escape from it. The archetype of which I speak is that of the menacing spirit the spirit of the bored, …
Co-Parenting With A Sociopath: Children and Healing
By Quinn Pierce Two weeks ago, my older son was admitted to the hospital due to his anxiety. He was unable to overcome the panic attacks and overwhelming fear that has plagued him since the end of the summer, and we decided it was time for a higher level of care. As traumatic as the decision was for me, I knew in my heart it was the best decision for him; and it truly was. It may have been the most difficult day of my life, but I kept in mind the healing that would finally begin for my son. The Constant Drama Takes a Toll I also kept in mind the fact that all of this might not have happened if it were not for my ex-husband, my son's father, who has riddled our lives with such chaos …
Co-Parenting With A Sociopath: Children and HealingRead More
Do sociopaths return?
I recently received an email from a Lovefraud reader who had only one question. It's a question I hear frequently: Do sociopaths return? The answer: Some of them don't, but some of them do. Many people who have been romantically involved with sociopaths experienced the sudden "devalue and discard." One day the sociopath loves you. The next day the sociopath tosses you aside like a used tissue and walks away, without ever looking back. As the person left behind, you may be in shock. You may have had no idea that your partner was unhappy. You may ask yourself, did I do something wrong? Why didn't he or she say something? Can't we work this out? You are also astounded at the …
Stop Asking Yourself Why and What
By Patricia Jackson When you live with a sociopath or psychopath (the difference will be the subject of a future article) you find yourself analyzing everything he (or she if you were unfortunate enough to be targeted by the fifteen per cent that are estimated to be female) says can be a source of endless analysis. The questions go something like this: 1) Why did he suddenly change? (Meaning why did he just go from being pleasant/kind/good/nice/reasonable to mean?) 2) What happened in his past that makes him act like this? 3) What did I say, do, fail to say, fail to do, that provoked him? 4) What if I do X. Y. Z? Or for that matter A. B. C. D. E. F. G. through W? (Maybe that will …
Divorcing A Sociopath: The First Steps Are The Most Difficult
by Quinn Pierce I remember walking along the sidewalk, the ice-covered snow crunching under my feet. The moonlight did nothing to warm winter's night air, but I couldn't feel the cold. I just walked. One foot in front of the other. Next to me, my dog, Sammy, followed my pace keeping her long Great Dane legs in short strides. This was our usual Saturday night outing since separating from my ex-husband. It was the only thing I could bring myself to do instead of sitting at home, missing my children and crying. I tried so hard to shield them from the angry and hurt emotions swirling around my dissolving marriage. I believed it was best to try to foster a healthy relationship between …
Divorcing A Sociopath: The First Steps Are The Most DifficultRead More
Lovefraud Professional Resources Guide: Patricia Jackson, B.A., CAC III
Lovefraud presents a series of Q&A articles with members of the Professional Resources Guide. Patricia Jackson is a Psychiatrist, psychologist and therapist, who specializes in depression, women's issues, parenting, legal abuse, anxiety, eating disorders, substance abuse, victim of injustice, isolation, and special needs of intuitives and artists. She also offers expert evaluation and court testimony on issues of abuse and psychological torture, victimization assessments, treatment recommendations and provision and substance abuse. Q. What experience have you had dealing with sociopaths or other disordered personalities—personally, professionally, or both? A. I have been personally an …
Lovefraud Professional Resources Guide: Patricia Jackson, B.A., CAC IIIRead More
Recovery From A Sociopath: Next Steps
Some of our greatest life lessons are learned after we think we already passed the test. I believed that ending my marriage to a sociopath would be the defining step to my recovery and healing. I committed myself to a healthy lifestyle, and practiced the long-forgotten skill of believing in myself and trusting my instincts. So, it came as quite a surprise that there was much more work to be done if I wanted to rid my life of the residual effects of a toxic fifteen year relationship. Starting Over By the time I met the man who would turn out to be the real love of my life, I thought I had grown and healed much more than I actually had. Not eager to start a new relationship, I spent …
Divorced From a Sociopath: The Imperfect Stranger
by Quinn Pierce Have you ever looked at someone that you've known for much of your life and thought, “Who are you?” I had that moment today, standing outside my son's doctor's office listening to my ex-husband threaten to bring the police to my house to enforce his visitation rights. I watched his face contort and strain, his eyes hardened to match his tone, and his entire body tense as if for a fight. I looked to his right to see my younger son frozen in place, thrown into a state of post traumatic stress, and I thought: who is this maniac standing here yelling at me? A Moment of Clarity But then, I snapped back into the moment and realized I was about to get sucked into arguing wi …
Sociopaths and soul mates
I'm reading Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert, which was the #1 New York Times bestseller when it was published in 2007. Gilbert tells her story of supposedly having everything career, marriage, home yet feeling depressed and unhappy. She left it all, got a divorce, and then spent a year abroad to find herself. She ate her way through Italy, studied spiritual practice in India, and sought to balance pleasure and divinity in Indonesia. While going through her divorce, Gilbert had a relationship with a man whom she calls "David." This didn't seem to be a sociopathic relationship, just normally dysfunctional. Although they broke up, Gilbert, from time to time, pined for David. Her …
Divorced From a Sociopath: Tools For Success
by Quinn Pierce It's like a switch, really, the way he turns his charm on and off. I watch the tell-tale facial expressions change in a split second as someone enters or exits the room. I often want to look around and yell, “Didn't you see that?” But he is too careful not to reveal the wrong mask to the intended person. It's another one of those moments when you think, “Am I really the only one who can see this? Doesn't anyone else realize this is all an act?” The Mask Slips And for so long, no one saw. He practiced and planned his timing like a seasoned actor on stage: perfect performance every time”¦.until recently. It may have taken twenty years, but it was worth the wait. …