By Joyce Alexander, RNP (Retired) I live in the woods, and what passes for a “yard” (I can't possibly call it a “lawn” with so little grass!) is pretty much in deep shade most of the summer due to the tall trees. Because of the deeply wooded environment, I've had to make a choice to have either trees or grass, but not both. I chose the trees. Many of the trees are different varieties of oak, some of which tend to shed the lower limbs as they grow taller and the lower limbs receive less sunlight. This self pruning of the trees benefits them by taking the limited resources of nutrients from the ground and moisture from the rains, and using it to grow taller and wider at the top where it r …
Why Me?
Editor's note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. My father is a sociopath. He is also a convicted serial killer who resides on Florida's Death Row. I idolized my dad as a kid and wanted to be just like him, but I could not. Life, I thought, had betrayed me and given me something so cruel that I could never trust again. I didn't believe that I could ever make sense of this experience. How could I possibly come to terms with having been raised by such a monster? How could I possibly find peace in my life after being victimized as a child and young adult? How could I come to terms with a question that I though …
BOOK REVIEW: Travis Vining writes about life with his serial-killer father and miracles
Editor's note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. Most of us who have tangled with sociopaths have stories that our friends and families find hard to believe. Yet despite what we've been through, we know that some of us have been through far worse. Travis Vining has one of those really bad stories. He's written the book. Perhaps someday we'll see the movie. Travis wrote a series of articles for Lovefraud back in 2008, which you can find in the Travis Vining Category. He will begin contributing articles again, starting tomorrow. Growing up with a sociopath Travis' father is a sociopath. But the man wasn't …
BOOK REVIEW: Travis Vining writes about life with his serial-killer father and miraclesRead More
It’s Up To All Of Us Now
Wow, last week's course with Dr Robert Hare was absolutely amazing! A huge eye-opener on how offending psychopaths are measured and dealt with in the criminal justice system — and also an insight in to the astonishing man who has given so much to so many of us. I'm planning to cover more about that in future posts... This week I'd like to talk about another subject that came up last week. It was also spelled out loud and clear in the Fishead movie that I know many of you have seen. It's the point that, even though it's widely acknowledged that a psychopath cannot ”˜get better' (and therefore it stands to reason that we cannot change the way they behave) it's also true that the vast major …
Making the sociopath accountable: How far do you go?
A Lovefraud reader using the name Dawn H posted the following comment quite awhile ago. At the end of her story, she brings up important questions. My ex and I grew up in the same small town. We were like Barbie and Ken”¦expected to marry and live happily ever after. I watched him grow from a very nice guy into a predator and a very evil person in just a few years. After our child was born he started a new wonderful job in a bank and quickly climbed the ladder to success. I put him through law school as he became distant and harsh and wouldn't touch me. I found out he was bragging at work about secretaries' children being his. One of his secretaries divorced her husband to sneak around with …
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Reclaiming Who We Are
I'm so glad that so many of you found Fishead useful. It's yet one more resource, one more educational tool that can only help to highlight the cause about sociopaths. This week I am on a training course run by Dr Robert Hare, so next week I'm sure I will be writing about my experiences. Today, though, I felt it appropriate to share something of my own experiences following the aftermath of my relationship. It's a post that was written on the 19th June 2010, fourteen months after I discovered the truth. It was a time when I'd really begun to make progress. I had survived (probably the most important thing at the time!), I knew exactly what I was dealing with (in terms of the personality …
The consequences of stress
By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired) One of the things I studied in school was the findings of researchers on the effects of stress in our lives. Two researchers who have become the “gold standard” with their attempts to quantify stress and some of the effects on our lives (sickness and accidents) are Holmes and Rahe, who developed the Holmes and Rahe stress scale. According to Wikipedia: In 1967, psychiatrists Thomas Holmes and Richard Rahe examined the medical records of over 5,000 medical patients as a way to determine whether stressful events might cause illnesses. Patients were asked to tally a list of 43 life events based on a relative score. A positive correlation of 0.118 was found b …
Sociopaths Can Only Talk The Walk
This week I have been reading Jon Ronson's book The Psychopath Test. It's been on my list of ”˜must reads' since it came out earlier this year, and just a couple of days ago I downloaded it on to my Kindle. I finished it within 24hours. Jon Ronson is a British journalist who, among many other things, wrote the film Men Who Stare At Goats, which was made in to a movie starring George Clooney and Ewan McGregor. Jon interviewed my friend Mary Turner Thomson (author of “The Bigamist” detailing her marriage to the sociopath Will Jordan) and became fascinated with the subject of psychopaths. He subsequently attended Dr Robert Hare's training programme to understand the PCL-R checklist that many …
Stress is contagious
New research finds that stress in the workplace can spread from person to person. Read Work stress as contagious as a cold, says study, on HuffingtonPost.com. Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader. …
Because Shift Happens!
Shift happens all the time — and when it does, boy it can knock us off balance can't it? My mother used to tell me that the only constant thing is change — she didn't tell me that it was probably one of the most impossible things for which to plan. She also didn't tell me that it could arrive at any moment and that whether or not you're ready, it sure is going to have an impact on your life! It would seem that some of us have experienced more ”˜shift' than others. Some prolonged ”˜shifty' periods, and some shorter moments where the time may be less but the shift can be much more potent. Yes, there are indeed varying degrees and innumerable differences in our experiences — but …