How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: A sociopath in a very senior position

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Editor's note: The following letter was sent by the Lovefraud reader "Speakout." Have you ever wondered what happens when your sociopath goes to the office? Where to start ”¦ I should begin by saying that my experience included getting to know his ex-wife after I was fired, reading the transcripts and emails of their seemingly endless divorce. She is the one who opened my eyes. I reacted poorly to her when she first told me about her experiences with him; I sat there in stunned silence. I had to let it sink in. She told me later that my response confused her. I had no idea such creatures as him existed. I'm a girl geek I'm not good with feelings and people. Some highlights that …

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Keeping sociopaths out of the workplace

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At Lovefraud, most of the discussion is about sociopaths in romantic relationships. But here is a key concept to understand: Sociopaths don't just exploit romantic partners. They exploit everyone who crosses their paths, in all aspects of their lives. That includes everyone they work with or do business with. Forbes.com just posted the following article: How to screen out the sociopath job candidate The author, Rob Asghar, asked  Dr. Matha Stout the warning signs of a sociopath in a job interview. Number One on her list was overwhelming charm. Wow, that sounds familiar.     …

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FTC survey shows 25.6 million Americans fell victim to fraud in 2011

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WASHINGTON, D.C. The Federal Trade Commission released on April 19, 2013 a statistical survey of fraud in the United States during 2011, which showed that an estimated 25.6 million adults — 10.8 percent of the adult population — were fraud victims. “The FTC fights fraud every day by taking scammers to court and telling consumers how to avoid being scammed.  Studieslike this one help us fine-tune both our enforcement and education efforts,” said Charles Harwood, Acting Director of the FTC's Bureau of Consumer Protection. While fast-growing online commerce has benefitted consumers with greater choice and convenience, the survey indicates that, as of 2011, the Internet was also the place …

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What happens when we fail to take action against bad behavior

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A few articles in the news recently illustrate a disturbing failure in that can be seen in a multitude of situations throughout society. These cases are from the U.S., but I imagine the pattern applies just about anywhere. In Dallas, Texas, Antoine Flowers, hired for a top information technology post at Dallas City Hall, resigned after four months on the job. Two weeks later, he was arrested for stealing and pawning $10,000 worth of the city's iPads. The real question is how he got hired in the first place. Flowers' resume stated that he'd worked as a software engineer at NASA, was a college education director and had served in the Army, with top-secret clearances. This did not raise …

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Towards a graduate degree in Workplace S&P&N-ology

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Editor's note: The following was written by the Lovefraud reader PressEject. He previously wrote "Male and female sociopaths have remarkable similarities." Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. It has been about 4 1/2 years since my absurd abuse at the hands of the sociopath, which your great site helped me to make sense of, and, to eventually overcome. I am writing today in gratitude, but also with a bit of an update and reminder (at least to myself) to remain vigilant. With your help, and with the help and support of your readers, I finally had a set of tools to work with to navigate the world should S's and P's and N's eventually fall right back in my pathway. …

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Doing business with a sociopath is bad business

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Here's a scary fact about the prevalence of sociopaths, also called psychopaths: Dr. Robert Hare, the psychologist who developed the Psychopathy Checklist-Revised (PCL-R), says that approximately 1% of the general population meets his definition of a psychopath. But in a study of 200 high-potential executives, he found that 3.5% of them fit the profile of a psychopath. That means there are 3.5 times a many psychopaths in corporate offices as there are on the streets. One of them, in my opinion, is Carl R. Greene, former executive director of the Philadelphia Housing Authority (PHA). I've posted several articles about him since he was fired from the agency that he ran for 12 years in …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Recovering from a Sociopathic “friend” and business partner

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Editor's note: The following post was written by the Lovefraud reader “Brielle.”  Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. Three years ago I left someone whom I only recently understood displays all the classic symptoms of being a sociopath. I'm writing this now to help other people who have had a close relationship, but not a romantic relationship, with a sociopath. It is still just as devastating when you have made the person the centre of your world. Young, vulnerable, and naive; the perfect target I was very young when I met her, emotionally vulnerable and naïve. To me she seemed so clever and charismatic. She offered me love, seemingly solutions to my lack of self …

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Revisiting Joe Paterno’s involvement in the Jerry Sandusky case

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The Penn State bombshell exploded on November 4, 2011. That's when court documents were posted online indicating that Jerry Sandusky, the former assistant football coach, would be charged with 40 counts related to sex crimes involving minors. Since then, Jerry Sandusky has been convicted and sentenced to spend the rest of his life in prison. Graham Spanier, the Penn State president, Gary Schultz, a vice president, and Tim Curley, the athletic director, were all charged with crimes related to an alleged cover-up of Sandusky's predatory actions. They are awaiting trial. Joe Paterno, the legendary Penn State football coach, was not charged with anything. Paterno died on January 22, 2012.  …

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BOOK REVIEW: The No Asshole Rule

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Here at Lovefraud, most of the conversation is about the sociopaths we've encountered in romantic relationships. But sociopaths are equal opportunity exploiters, and are often abusive in some way to almost everyone in their lives. Therefore, we can encounter sociopaths anywhere—especially in the workplace. I recently read a book that's helpful for avoiding, or surviving, abuse on the job: The No Asshole Rule Building a civilized workplace and surviving one that isn't. The book is written by Robert I. Sutton, Ph.D., a professor of management science and engineering at Stanford University. Yes, there is a mild obscenity in the title, and the A-word appears throughout the book. Still, I'd …

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Research findings: workplace psychopaths

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Editor's note: A master's student from Carleton University in Ottowa, Canada, is researching psychopaths in the workplace. She invited Lovefraud readers to participate in her research, and many of you did. Below are her preliminary findings. Backstabbing bosses and callous co-workers: An examination of the experience of working with a psychopath. Very little research has been conducted on the phenomenon of corporate psychopathy or victims of psychopaths. This study was one of the first to take a victimcentric approach to study how psychopaths behave in a workplace. The purpose of the study was to better understand the effects (mental, physical, financial, social) of working with an …

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