CRON: Array ( [1553159115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553159415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553159715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553160015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553160315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553160536] => Array ( [wpbdp_daily_events] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => daily [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 86400 ) ) ) [1553160615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553160915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553160950] => Array ( [wpbdp_listings_expiration_check] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => hourly [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 3600 ) ) ) [1553161061] => Array ( [_cron_zencache_cleanup] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => daily [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 86400 ) ) ) [1553161215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553161515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553162115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553162344] => Array ( [wppa_cleanup] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => hourly [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 3600 ) ) ) [1553162415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553162715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553163015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) 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in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553165715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553166015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553166315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553166615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553166915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553167215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553167515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553167815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553168115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553168235] => Array ( [seopressor_site_audit] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => daily [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 86400 ) ) [seopressor_daily_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => daily [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 86400 ) ) ) [1553168415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553168715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553168849] => Array ( [check_plugin_updates-event-espresso-core-reg] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => daily [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 86400 ) ) ) [1553169015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553169315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553169615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553169915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553170215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553170515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553170637] => Array ( [simple_history/maybe_purge_db] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => daily [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 86400 ) ) ) [1553170815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553171415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553171715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553172015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553172315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553172615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553173215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553173515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553173815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553174115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553175015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553175915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553176515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553176815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553177115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553177415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553177715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553178015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553178315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553178615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553178915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553179215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553179515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553179815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553180415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553180715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553180821] => Array ( [yotuwp_cache_event] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => daily [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 86400 ) ) ) [1553181315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553181615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553182215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553182815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553183115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553183415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553183715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553184015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553184315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553184915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553185215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553186115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553186411] => Array ( [woocommerce_cleanup_personal_data] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => daily [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 86400 ) ) ) [1553186415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553186421] => Array ( [woocommerce_tracker_send_event] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => daily [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 86400 ) ) ) [1553186715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553187015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553187315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553187615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553187915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553188215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553188515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553188815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553189115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553189415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553189715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553190015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553190315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553190375] => Array ( [delete_expired_transients] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => daily [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 86400 ) ) ) [1553190615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553190915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553191215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553191515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553191815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553192415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553192715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553193015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553193129] => Array ( [wpbdp_license_check] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => daily [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 86400 ) ) ) [1553193315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553193615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553193915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553194215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553194515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array 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Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553213715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553214015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553214315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553214615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553214915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553215215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553215515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553215815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553216115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553216415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553217015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553217315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553217915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553218515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553218815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553219415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553219715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => 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[1553296515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553297115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553297415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553297715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553298315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553298915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => 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[40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553301315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553301615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553301915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553302215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553302515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) 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[1553335969] => Array ( [update_network_counts] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => twicedaily [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 43200 ) ) ) [1553336415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553336715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553337315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553337611] => Array ( [woocommerce_cleanup_sessions] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => twicedaily [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 43200 ) ) ) [1553337615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( 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By | November 24, 2006 38 Comments

Children of sociopaths are twice cursed

Many have declared that the lack of a conscience is the defect that defines sociopathy. Therefore, understanding how the conscience forms will lead us to better understand this disorder. Researchers currently discuss two basic pathways to conscience formation. The first and most common path to conscience is through guilt. Conscience through guilt develops from fear of punishment. Children who are genetically at risk for sociopathy are often fearless and so have little or no guilt, as discussed last week.

The second path to conscience

The second path to conscience is through empathy. A fearless child can have a conscience if he develops empathy. Conscience through empathy is called the “second pathway” or “alternative pathway” by researchers because empathy provides a conscience to fearless, relatively guiltless, people. Most humans have a two part conscience and experience both guilt and empathy.

Just what is empathy?

Empathy is our understanding of the feelings of others, AND a compulsion to treat others kindly based on this understanding. A compulsion is a strong urge— something a person feels he has to do. The compulsion to treat others kindly happens in part because an empathetic person actually feels another’s feelings as if they were his own. Thus the adage, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” describes a neural reflex.

If you have spent time with a sociopath, you can probably attest to the fact that although sociopaths have some understanding of other’s feelings, they lack the compulsion to treat others kindly. Brain imaging studies reveal that the parts of the brain responsible for empathy are smaller and poorly developed in sociopaths. Thus, sociopaths have failed to develop BOTH guilt and empathy. As a child, the sociopath did not travel down either path toward a conscience.

Fearless at-risk children can develop a conscience through empathy

To develop a conscience through empathy, at risk children need large amounts of nurturing attention. An especially close, loving relationship with at least one caregiver is required for empathy to develop. Because at-risk children are also impulsive and very difficult to be with, it is hard to provide them with the nurturing attention they need. Parents who succeed with at risk kids do so because they strike a balance between training impulse control and paying loving positive attention. An excessive focus on “discipline” prevents a parent from providing enough of the nurturing attention needed for empathy to develop.

At risk children are twice cursed twice!

Children of sociopaths are therefore twice cursed. They are at risk to fail to develop both guilt and empathy, one double curse. They are twice cursed again when the same genes that put them at risk, also give them unfit parents. Sociopaths are not capable of providing the nurturing attention at-risk children require. They also model aggressive behavior. In an at-risk child, unchecked aggressive impulses further squelch the development of empathy.

Are you the only healthy parent of an at-risk child?

If you are the only healthy parent of an-risk child, you have the challenge of dealing with your child’s genetics while minimizing the harmful environmental influences caused by the sociopathic parent. The legal system has failed to protect many at-risk kids from the harm done by parents who are sociopaths. This is especially tragic when there is a relatively healthy parent who is willing and able to provide the love and nurturance the at-risk child needs. The legal system should formally recognize that a child does not need both of his parents if one is a sociopath.


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jfbelltown

You say the legal system should recognize that children don’t need both parents in the case that one of them is a sociopath. However, the legal system does NOT recognize this. That being the case, why write this? Do you have any solutions?

421dmb

I am not sure if my ex husband is a sociopath or not, but I do know that he exhibits many of the traits I have read about. My experience with the courts has not been very good. If you are a good parent, then you will try to encourage your children to love their father…and mine do. I don’t talk badly about him, so they love him.
My problem is that he is extremely hateful to me. He encourages total disrespect of me by my children. He is slowly eroding my relationship with my children. When I went to court to see if I could get visits supervised…they found kids that love their dad. The courts do not want to separate children from their parents even if they are being emotionally hurt by the parent…and I feel like I have a lot of written evidence, but it wasn’t enough. Now, the only thing I have is my agreement…which allows visitation, but at least it sets boundries for what he can do…and now when he violates it, I call the police. I think I was ill-advised by my children’s counselor not to involve the police early on. I was advised that involving the police would cause emotional harm to my children. This advice left me with no hard evidence in court of all that happened. It became his story against mine…and he is so cool and can lie so easily that he truly fooled all those involved. I, on the other hand, am kind of unsure of myself and anxious, so I look like a nervous Nelly.
My advice to anyone who is dealing with courts and custody and possible sociopaths is to hire someone who specializes in parental alienation and the law….have this person review your case and make recommendations as to what is best for your children. My experience is that many well-meaning counselors and lawyers do not understand parental alienation and so they make recommendations that are truly harmful to the overall situation. Normally, children need a good relationship with both of their parents…but dealing with a sociopath is anything but normal…and they are so good at manipulating that they can really make themselves look like wonderful, caring parents.

will be okay

My ex boyfriend is a sociopath, and I never saw it until I caught him cheating. He too, seems like the nicest guy in the world, and is able to fool everyone. I now think about the 4 1/2-year-old son he has with his ex wife, how the child is completely out of control… screams and punches him in resturaunts, has temper tantrums every time he doesn’t get what he want’s, hits & kicks other kids in daycare, etc.. My children are very well behaved, they have been raised with alot of love, and discipline… So seeing his son so out of control, used to drive me crazy!! I voiced my concern, and that always seemed to anger my ex. Now I know my ex was a pathological lying sociopath all along, and now I also know.. His son will probably be one, too. What a shame!!!

thereishope

I am the child of a sociopath who was raised by the state in between times that I was sent to Psycho mom and though I may have some issues with relationships and self image…I do not think I am anywhere near a sociopath.

I care about other people’s feelings…granted I am a Sag and often lack tact in my verbal communications but I never go out of my way and try my best to avoid anything that would hurt another person’s feelings.

I have been known to be too honest (if that is possible) even going so far as to tell on myself when I do something wrong because I feel so darned guilty!

I try my best to take responsibility for my actions. I don’t have trouble admitting I am wrong and I have even less trouble trying to fix my mistakes…I am human after all and I am entitled to make mistakes.

I don’t like to ask for anything from people and I have quite a tough time accepting things that people give me because I don’t want anyone to say I use them.

On the other hand I do know that some of my mother’s traits have been passed on to me. Lucky for me I think more along the lines that those behaviors were learned and are not part of my natural make-up and therefore I am able to control them. For instance:

As a teenager I was very good at lying to get what I wanted. I used to sit back and learn my mother’s methods of manipulation and saw how easily she could sell glasses to a blind man. To this day I won’t even allow myself to take a sales position for fear of being a con artist and selling people things they don’t need or want-this is my method of trying to control my mother’s power over me.

Another for instance: My mother is such a good liar that you could be standing outside admiring the sky and when you are looking at it, you see blue…you know what blue is. Then along comes a sociopath and within 20 seconds flat you are doing two things: a) questioning your ability to accurately judge color and b) you are thinking that maybe the sky is really orange…all because their job is to make you think that you are crazy and they have all the answers.

If I didn’t give an A+ effort everyday to not be like her…I would fear for this world because I am almost positive that second generation and third generation socio/psychopaths are even more adept at conning your pants off as they have perfected where their parents made mistakes.

I thank God that I am proactive in trying to be a normal person. It is hard work but then again I have taught myself that the things in life that are most worth it are those that you work your @ss off for.

I say give kids a chance. I have learned in life and through my education that labels cause more harm than good especially in children. Just because we are children of sociopaths does not mean that we are or better yet will be, sociopaths as well…positive thinking is the key. Build them up don’t knock them down and you just might be suprised at how far they excel and how easy they can prove statistics wrong. Some of us are living proof that life is mind over matter.

ember halo

i agree that the legal system needs to recognize that a child is better with only one parent if that parent is ‘good’ than with 2 if one parent is a sociopath. i’ve looked into trying to terminate the parental rights of the ex S to my daughter, and it’s nearly impossible. thank god he thought he could manipulate me into not divorcing him and so didn’t bother contesting the terms of visitation–and if i’d known him for what he is i would have been even stricter! but at least he only has supervised visitation, with someone i approve of. and so far, he’s only suggested one person whom i don’t trust. so he hasn’t seen my daughter in almost 7 months. hasn’t paid child support EVER.

and my lawyer said that i can’t even terminate his VISITATION rights for TWO YEARS, and only if he hasn’t done anything to see her or paid any support in that time… crossing my fingers that he gets distracted by some new “victim” and forgets about us!!!

and i worry that something might happen to me, or he might snap and “ax” me like he always used to “joke” about… and if they couldn’t prove it was him, he’d get custody of my little angel!!!

Ox Drover

How the heck did I miss this article? THEREISHOPE, I hope you are still around! I too am the child of a psychopath, but I’m also the mother of one. Thank God I wasn’t raised by my psychopathic sperm donor, but my enabling, persecuting, punishing egg donor iin many ways set me up to become a victim.

Great Artcile Liane!

Dear Ember! My heart is with you about your “little angel”–fortunately my sperm donor never tried to get me and my step father did adopt me after my egg donor had me declared an “abandoned” child. Maybe there will be something you can do down the line. Hang in there and my prayers are with you and your little Angel! (((Hugs))))

ErinBrock

What can we do…..you ask….
EXPOSE them to the courts….with information and documetnation……psychiatric reports, behavioral documentation.
THis is different than just playing foul with another parent…..
Totally different.
Playing foul is just that….
But being scared to death for your childs wealfare etc….and KNOWING there was abuse involved…..
We must pull out all the stops…..in the courts to protect these kids….

Too many people pull the ‘I hate you and I’m gonna take the kids from you’ card……use the kids as leverage….
We must look objectively at our situations and go into this fight with an absolute clear consciene that we are doing the best thing for our children…..
Being a sociopath is different than keepinga child up late…..or not doing what a mother expects and when she expects it….
Parenting is not about controlling a child….
It’s about loving and nurturing a child….protecting them at all costs…

It’s up to us to ‘change’ the system….the views of the judges…
Recognize how it got ‘here’…….and change our appearnaces in the courts, change our cases presentations…..to change the judges views…..
Currently all they hear is…..he said…she said…..and fighting over paperweights…..

It’s up to us!!!!!
You want it…..GO GET IT!!!!

myboysmattermost

My son received this email today:

Dear son,

I love you and miss you more than anything in the world. I cant come back because your mother will not and has not let me come back. That is why I cant come see you or visit you. Remember driving on the beach and how much fun it was just a couple of days before your mother called the police on me? Please remember all the years that I spent loving you. I gave you and your brother to much and I think I allowed you and your brother to grow up very spoiled. I worked and loved you for all the years you have been on this earth. I am very surprised that you are letting your mother who I always told you had mental problems all through her life tell you lies about me. Your older brothers real father left your mom, for he would not put up with her evil ways. Be the son I raised you to be and not a mean person. I did not raise you to be heartless. I raised you with a lot of love, praise and hugs. Nana’s cant believe that you would listen to your mothers sick lies. Your mother did and has done everything I did for mistakes in life. We all make mistakes, but she ruined our family. Hopefully someday you will realize this and write me or call me on Nana’s phone. I love you forever and a day. Never forget that.. Don’t let other people fill you full of lies. Your mother is keeping me away from you.

Pulling out all the stops – arrrrgggggggghhhhhhh

one/joy_step_at_a_time

myboys: every time another of us posts their emails, it helps me; their convoluted sentence structures (and the logic expressed) are particular to them, and can be used to identify them in the wild.

THIS;
‘That is why I cant come see you or visit you. Remember driving on the beach and how much fun it was just a couple of days before your mother called the police on me?
MADE ME LAUGH ALOUD – WE WERE HAVING SO MUCH FUN WHEN I KIDNAPPED YOU!!!!!! WHAT THE F*CK!?? IS HE F8CKING KIDDING?!!

Are you legally bound to let him have contact with your son via email?

i know your son *sees* him, knows that he is not right in the head, but what pain to put a child through. evil evil man.

what a piece of crap he is, cajoling your young tender son to betray you, asking him to set boundaries that no 10 year could, EVEN in the event of ‘real’ mental illness in his primary caregiver.

‘Your mother is keeping me away from you.’ and so she bloody well should.

best,
one step

ErinBrock

Block his email address from your sons email account!
QUICK….
Oh…..AFTER YOU PRINT THE EMAIL!!!!!!

This is just NOT okay!
I’t s confusing to a child and he is doing EVERYTHING in the book of DON”TS.

Hopefully your son has not seen this email ……(I can’t remember how old your son is)

It’s the projection of everything he’s doing….onto you….to the child.

Stay upbeat with your son….(if he did see it)….and NEVER talk bad about the s to your son.
If you handle it this way…..your son will see his father for wht he is….trust this!!!

It may take some time…..but he WILL see it…
Just DO NOT PARTICIPATE!

Your divorce is YOUR divorce…..It’s up to you to do all you can to keep it that way!

I’m sorry he’s doing this…..but expect it NOT tostop….
Remember…..YOUR NOT IN CONTROL OF HIM!!!

ErinBrock

Myboys:

I became mentally ill too…..this is what he told the kids….
We all contract a mental illness when the S’s don’t get their way with us…..it’s an anomoly all ‘victims’ get when we’ve had enough…..and the S’s have been ‘exposed’.
What turned me mentally ill was finding out about the S’s drug selling and involving the kids……funny how one turns mentally ill at that point.
Then it ‘graduated’ to I have always been mentally ill……and I was in a mental hospital for years……..
Ask her parents…… (this is what he TOLD A JUDGE)….who btw….didn’t buy it!
The ‘good news’ is…..this viral-mental illness has only one cure…..
Axing the S FROM OUR LIFE!

It’s funny how we don’t need pills or drinks to cure it…..just time away from a Cluster B!!!
An amazing Cure!! And much cheaper too, than pills.
🙂

myboysmattermost

He is almost 13 (Thursday:).

I told him about it but did not let him see it. I do not say anything about the spath, just listen and my son says plenty and he does *see* it.

We all went to the beach for a get away a few weeks before he snapped (he was stressed and I was trying to help) and I HAD to call the police – he beat himself up and went to the police to tell them I did it and then returned to the house to taunt me – 4:00 am – he had been up on drugs for days and refused to let me sleep and I couldn’t take it anymore – my sons 18 and 13, saw it ALL and frankly, he scared us all to death – the police took him away and committed him and when he was released five days later, he fled with all our money and not a word to any of us. We didn’t hear from him again until January 20th. He didn’t even call his son for Christmas or Valentines Day for that matter…

I see this as just plain abusive and have forwarded it to my attorney. I am sure a judge will not be happy with a man who ADMITS he has been trash talking his son’s mother “all this time”…

I did tell the attorney he can have visitation but I would prefer it be supervised and this is why.

Ox Drover

Yea,, EB, I always KNEW you were CRAAAAZZZZY! I never doubted it and I am glad to see you admit that you were/are CRAZY!

I laugh every time I read one of P-son’s letters “diagnosing” that I have a BRAIN TUMOR and that explains why I have “Changed” so much and am acting weird and (Get THIS) UNPREDICTABLE!!!!! Then P-son says “I’m not a doctor, but I think this is what is going on.”

NOT A DOCTOR!!!!!! Not a High School grad either, BTW, but because his “beloved mother” has a “brain tumor” instead of reaching out to HELP HER like a “good son” wouuld do if mommie had brain cancer, he decided that the answer was to run her off the farm! Get rid of her! LOL ROTFLMAO

Ah, yes, “the CURE” for this crazy is to GET AWAY from THEM because being around them WILL MAKE YOU CRAZY, will WARP YOUR THINKING, WILL GIVE YOU STRESS OVER LOAD and ruin your freaking life!

Now that I am NC I am sooo much better, better, better, better, (but I digress) At not repeating myself, myself, myself….

myboysmattermost

What I told him is that his father believes that I am keeping him away from him and asked him if he felt that way and he replied that no, he isn’t interested in seeing him.

He wants to reply or call his dad and tell him “to screw” but I told him that it is best to just ignore this and let the courts handle it, that they will know best what to do. He says he is afraid they will “make him” see him but I assured him that he is almost 13 and will have a say in the matter.

I just don’t deserve this and neither does our son…

And he still has not hired an attorney…I think he thinks I haven’t either as he has not received the papers due to a glitch in the courthouse computers…I expect that will set him off when he does…

one/joy_step_at_a_time

myboys – i hope you have a lovely party. 🙂 13 is such a magical age, a cusp age. so much change and movement.

If you are going to delete email, print the header also – so that the IP address shows. Some jurisdictions do not admit printed emails as evidence.

In Outlook Express the path is: right click from inbox>properties>details>messagesource>print), in Yahoo webmail it is: open email> ‘full headers’ (bottom right of page)>print

best,
one step

myboysmattermost

I don’t delete anything, I have a folder just for the stuff he sends – really abusive emails and then this one today. My son’s email comes to my account first as I don’t think he is old enough for unsupervised computer access yet.

I, like EB, save and file everything. I have so much evidence of his financial “negligence” and cash withdrawals and prescriptions (he would pick them up before the insurance company would cover them and pay full price)…wish I could go after the doctor and pharmacy!! he always called me a “pack rat” but it looks now like it will help me!!

ErinBrock

Myboys:

Please DO not ever feel you need to ‘clarify’ any reason for calling the police…..
If you felt scared…..you called the police…No explanation required…..I did the same thing….and got ‘blamed’overandover and over…..
WHO CARES….fuckem!

At 13….your son is out of the woods….as far as visitation with daddyo.
A court will listen to him…..and they CANT enforce visitation….as long as YOU don’t interfere.

This is what I was told my a judge….
My kids were terrified of the visitation judgement….I told them Ididn’t have the money to fight for years over custody of them…..by the time a jdugement was handed down…theyd’d by 18 and redundant!
I told them….IF the judge order visitation…..it was up to them to fullfil THAT obligation .

I was also told in the event he was ordered visitation….
To set up a neutral….not involving ME place for father and kids to meet to be picked up……
Like Starbucks by the school etc…..
Then when the kids don’t show up…..you had NOTHING to do with it!
You can’t pick up a 13 year old and drag him over to dads house in handcuffs and ropes…..
SEE THE POINT!
If you mention this to your son….it gives him an out and keeps it HIS choice.
They also feel validation and worth, that THEY have a choice.

I always (andstill do) tell my kids…..they can have any relationship with ANYONE they want…..my only request is…..I am left out of any discussions. This means their father….anyone…..
If they said they wanted to see dad at this point….I’d bite my tongue and make arrangements and remind them to keep their eyes wide open and leave any discussions of ME out of conversation.
I’d hate that…..but it IS their father….
I do fully expect the kids at some point to want to reconnect or get pulled back in with daddy o…..and then get hammered again….
As their mother and parent….I would LOVE it if they could have a healthy relationship with their father (we all would choose this I think)….AS his wife and co parent for 28 years…..I know him, Iknow how he operates….and I know a healthy relationship with him is not in anyones cards…..whether it is his kids or a girlfriend/wife or anyone…..
But….if they want to see and give it another try…..go for it!
We all must learn on our own!
They have lived it, seen it and breathed it……HE won’t change!
That is the KEY…
THEY DON”T CHANGE!!!!

Once I realized this….and grasped it…..I was out! It was finally over!

Good luck…..your doing JUST FINE!

ErinBrock

Oxy….
Ya crazy ol biatch!

I took the crazy deeeelllleeeetttteeee pill…..self prescribed…..

The Bottle read….

EB… 1-18-08
1 superpack-wisdom

Take this RX immediately for instant releif of symtoms.

No contact…..100,000,000,000 miligrams
Refills available, if necessary.

Ox Drover

Dear EB, well, I am “still on MEDICATION” LOL and I’m not always sure it has cured my “crazy” but at least most of the time it keeps the worst of the symptoms under CONTROL! ROTFLMAO (sigh)

Sometimes the “wisdom” is hard to swallow and sticks in my craw! Or, Worse yet, I FORGET TO TAKE IT or forget where I left it (is there a pill for memory?)!!!!

Just like this thing with my egg donor e mailing me part of the business information about the natural gas pipe line going across the farm (they really did a lot of damage last time they put one in) and refusing to give me the phone number of the supervisor, but you know, that refusal at least let me know that she was “up to something” even if it was only to try to make me call her. OH how I WANTED to call her!

I figure with the upcoming parole hearing (she should have hired him an attorney by now) she is either trying to get me to “lose it” and get angry (it worked in the past) or she is trying to weasel back into contact so I will NOT hire an attorney (TOOOOO LATE!!!)

I’m not sure what she is up to exactly, but at least I realized that HOOK was in the bait she threw out there. I’m going to an attorney Tuesday and talk to him about all this stuff (local) and see what he recommends. he’s a pretty bright guy and I know him enough to trust him, so I think I will get what I need from him.

GOSH I WISH THAT DOWN POUR would stop! I think I should be out in the barn building an ARK, I have at least two of about every critter all gathered up already! (((hugs)))

myboysmattermost

I didn’t realize until after he was gone and I found LF that he is most likely a sociopath/narcissist. I always thought his problem was drugs and immaturity and he would “grow out of it” and with a lot of love and counseling and rehab, it would change. But it never did. He had the counselors believing that I was making his life miserable. Well all but one, and after that first session, he went off and we never went back to him. The spath said the counselor only wanted to sleep with me.

Boy was I wrong! And when I started reading and was actually seeing MY story spelled out again and again – and my epiphany that I was NOT in normal marriage and it would NEVER change…and now since I have ended it, his response tells me for sure. As does the validation I get here at LF…from you EB, and Oxy and One_Step (glad to see you back!:)

The drugs were a symptom, not the problem. I am so glad I am out but wish it was just “done”. Looks like it may not be for some time as he feels justified in doling out punishment and he has his mom validating him.

I do feel bad for his son and you are right…I would LOVE it if he could have a healthy relationship with his father but it just is not gonna happen.

ErinBrock

MYboys:
I didn’t realize either what I was dealing with…..all along….
Knew he was selfish, committed to drugs, mean, a punisher…..I didn’t notice the control……becuase I was always strong and opininated and was adament I could not be controlled…..BUT HE DID……through various avenues….

I too was ‘saved’ by finding this knowledge of Cluster B’s.
When I read the symptoms…..I was freaked out by it….it was like the dr’s had been following him around.
I was ready hear it……
THANK GOD!!!
You’ll be okay myboys…..you’ll be okay…..keep believing in yourself!!!

one/joy_step_at_a_time

EB – thanks for your words earlier. x

taking a bit of a break today – from siphoning of the spath poison in me. it is amazing to know i can do it.

x one step

one/joy_step_at_a_time

thanks my boys 😉

myboysmattermost

EB:

You are the best!! I spoke with mortgage company and the fax is on the way now. The TRO does indeed say that he is not in any way to prohibit me exclusive use of the home while the divorce is pending and this includes not paying the mortgage! So I called them, they noted it, are awaiting the fax and I have more time:) I also supplied his new address and phone. Hopefully he will be forced to modify the mortgage to something I can afford, it I decide to stay.

He has sent progressively ugly emails today, spelling out that he is rebuilding his life and bought a computer, phone and getting a new car (proof he has income for the judge!) and that he will not pay the mortgage so I will be kicked out of the house…guess not!

Eb, just wanted to let you know that I tried to email the Xmas Pics to you, but your address bounced back. Also, Donna was cross with me for giving my email address and she removed it.I thought it was OK if we were introduced by Donna.Not sure where to go from here.Im GLAD that I exchanged my email and street addresses with NewLily, as it enabled us to correspond before her op and subsequent death and Im also glad I mailed her the bead necklace and scarf, which gave her some pleasure, God knows she had little enough love in her life, except the loving messages from her friends on LF. If you ask Donna if you can email ne again and give me your postal address I can mail the pics to you. Much Love, Gem.XX

Ox Drover

Dear Gem,

Donna does not, for SAFETY reasons, want us to post our personal e mails on the BLOG. She is absolutely right in that as well, remember that there are trolls who come here from time to time.

My e mail addy that I have had for years, unfortunately leads back to my home address and web page for my farm, so I have to be very particular how it gets out there.

I am glad that you corresponded with Lily, and I know it meant so much to her, but please be careful, the wonderful SAFETY that we feel here at LF can become a danger if we are not careful! Love Oxy

OK, Oxy, darling, point taken!
How are you going by the way? Im a bit like you, good some days, and other days Im overwhelmed by sadness anda sense of “what was it all for,” raising two lovely little girls to have them turn into spaths!
But most days Im doing OK, and trying to move on with my life. Sometimes it seems that everyone I know, practically is either a spath,a bully, a control freak or a useror parasite,,and Ive had to cut a lot of people out of my life, I even had to give up the volunteer job which I enjoyed, as the woman who runs it is a control freak, a bully, and her mood swings were not doing me any good at all.So, back to the drawing board. I have MUCh to be thankful to God for, my loving husband, our lovely Iranian “kids”., {who are coming to lunch next Sunday,– great!!As you said and its so true, when you “draw a line in the sand” and insist on certain behaviours, you have to be prepared for the relationship,{or relationshit!} not to survive, if the spath wont play ball. I havent had any contact with d since the beginning of June last year, and I havent seen her since Dec. 8th, 08.Im still reeling from the shock of finding out she embezzled,{stole<} A$62,000, and was "forgiven" A$50,000 of this amount! It explains to me now why she lost a top job witha top Nature mag, she had her own office, surrounded by bushland, her own secretary, she was the editor, and worked on her kids mag at the same timeWhen the nature Mag was taken over by new management, they ran an audit, and discovered she'd put the $62,000 thru their accounts, and then siphoned it off into her own bank balance..Now she is largely unemployed, flat sitting fo r a girlfriend, doing articles for various publications. she tells people she isa Journalist, which she is NOT. she has no paper qualifications of any kind. The years my ex and I hoped shed be at Uni, were spent in a squat with her feral, hippy mates.Like your son, she seemed to crave the company of her social and intellectual inferiors, who looked up to her, and stroked her ego.She will be 46 in a few months , and I wonder where shell end up when shes run out of suckers to con.Im looking forward to another trip to bonny Scotland in may, where I still have a few old and dear friends.
Take care, Much Love, Gem.XX
Temps have been AWFUL, up to 40 deg.C, and 100% humidity, but today is much cooler, thank God. Weve hada lot of tropical type rain too.

ErinBrock

Gem:
No worries…don’t know why it bounced? It’s a valid address…..
There needs to be anonimity for our own safety….remember the web is world wide…..and like oxy said….ya just never know who is lurking….

I know s #2 was hacking into systems through email…..just an example of how dangerous these dipshits can be…
He even hacked into the courts computer…..pretty ballsy!

So…..think smart and protect yourself darlen!

Have a wonderful weekend with your cherished Iranian friends Mama!!!

XXOO
EB

EB, Thank you darling for those kind words! Yea your right, we need to be careful of these trolls. Im feeling a lot more positive these days, but I swing a bit from sad to happy to energetic to tired out, I guess its normal, after all these spaths were in our lives fora long time, its like withdrawal from toxic drugs, I suppose! Its still the hardest thing Ive EVEr had to do in my life, to go total NC with my adult spath daughters. {well, only one really as the younger one, the control freak, hasnt allowed me to see her or her kids in 17 years.} Now the boots on the other foot , as I dont wish to see the little bitch again, I cant stand her. She is snobby, haughty, bossy, money hungry, controlling,cruel,and everyone dances to her tune, NOT ME anymore!!She will be 44 on the 25th of this Month, I plan to buy some flowers for ME, not for her, she doesnt deserve any!! Much Love to you and everyone I love, Oxy, hens, witty, one step,ALL of you ROCK!!! {{HUGS!!}}} Gem.XXXX

ErinBrock

GO GEM!!!!!!

Happy FREEDOM DARLEN!!!!

banana

Liane,

I wrote to you under Steve’s article, but I just remembered and wanted to ask you about spanking…it doesn’t typically hurt me son because he is wearing diapers, but when he hits his cousin repeatly, when asked to stop, and I thereofre spank him he smiles. This disturbs me.

he also does thins thing some times where he is scolded so he does what i call the kiss and make up, then will repeat the unwanted behavior, sometimes for another scholding and another kiss and make up.

What are your thoughts on this.

BTW I have a lot of hope for my son as he is a really adorable, kind, playfull, and affectionate boy 90% of the time.

Lack of a conscience makes the kids and teenagers out of control. There may be various reasons and issues behind the irresponsible behavior of teens but extended care and moral support can help defiant kids to overcome all types of stressing issues. Emotional, mental and psychological disorders cause depression and restlessness in children which make the difficult to understand. Parenting and counseling programs are effective in dealing with harassing issues of adolescents.
http://www.troubledteens.net/Problems-in-Teens/Out-of-Control-Teenagers.html

ErinBrock

Troubledteens;
So…..when your destroyed by one sociopathic parent and your left holding the ‘bag’ of one angry teenager……
HOW IN THE HELL DOES ONE AFFORD YOUR PROGRAMS?

These are for ‘designer’ kids with rich parents able to spend that sort of money to send Jr off….

Typically…..that is NOT the sort of Parent who comes to LF….we have been financially destroyed!!!!!

bluejay

ErinBrock,

Ditto! Yeh, when you have a financially irresponisble sociopathic partner who spends money on who knows what, plenty of times behind your back, you’re left with very little. By the time you wake up to his/her shenanigans (realizing that you’ve been lied to and that money has indeed been stolen), you’re in the “poor house.” One partner is frugal, the other one is NOT, making living more difficult than it should be.

kaya48

I have been married to a sociopath for 20 years. My son is 19 so yes, he was at high risk to copy his “fathers” cold, emotionless world. But I was the “healthy” parent and every day I made sure that my son would not follow my husbands evilness. Very interesting about the fact that the part of the brain responsible for empathy and compassion is usually underdeveloped and small. I always believed I could change my husband. That I could teach him empathy and compassion. Now I know that it was for nothing because he would never “improve”. I still remember how ice cold he was when my father or my dear friend passed away. I was told “get over it, people die every day”. No sympathy, no hug, no comforting. I filed for divorce on July 08 and I am done with his abuse. I can see it so clearly now, that my son and I never mattered to him. We were just “extensions” of him. After he was exposed in his affairs, in his lies and betrayals , he really had no other choice but to leave us. And I thank god every day for taking him out of my life.

heart1

Yes, leaving a spath is like quitting smoking. They do perverse your whole perception of the world. Fear of leaving and entering the same situation again. Every year of my marriage was like do I “jump of the burning boat into shark infested waters”. Amazing at conning and lies, deceipt. The lies would get so ridiculous, and it seemed a form of amusement. You live swimming in lies. What real what not. The strength in him I saw in the first place was nothing bothered him. Someone with a cool mind attracted me. Cause I can be a worry wart. So it was balance. Boy was I wrong. It wasnt a cool mind. It was lack of empathy, conscience. Cant blame any women for ending up with men like that. The lovebombing is over the top and amazing, no normal men would do. But its all fake and artificial and serves their purpose and not their emotions. Dont waste your time angry and hurt, they wont respond. They just analyse at your emotional dance and wonder how they can profit from this weakness…..

Delores

I wish my daughter would see that. He told her he was just not marriage material after his third divorce and she should not let him get married again. Now she is his target, minion or apath in his continued attempts to destroy me. I still hurt for all of us except him, but I will not let either of them destroy me.

The pain they cause on purpose and with malice is unfathomable to most as they hide in plain sight. God help us all.

kaya48

You are so right “swimming in lies”. At the end his lies got so ridiculous that I actually had to laugh about it. How in the world did he expect me and my son to believe this trash ? I honestly think they create world of lies and betrayals where they are so comfortable that they believe their own lies. Every time I caught him he had that arrogant smirk on his face. His most favorite answer was “I do not recall” or “maybe it’s true, maybe it’s not”. I even printed out the nude pictures he had exchanged with the mistress/co worker. His answer was “I don’t know her”. He even lied to my son. My son who used to respect his father and now wants nothing to do with him. Evilness throughout. The day he left I had this voice in my head “I am done” and I filed for divorce. Where was my self respect, my integrity, my self worth ? I got it back with the no contact for over 6 months. I am glad my son is not a minor. My soon to be ex would even be more ugly in this divorce. And what makes me so proud is the fact that my son is the total opposite of his so called father. He is a caring , full of empathy and compassion and smart young men. To this day I look at it as my biggest accomplisrnt in life. He will never be like his father because he has a heart. Sociopath have ice blocks where their heart should be. Even though I stayed 20 years I managed to raise my son to become a “healthy” person. He was smart to see his fathers evilness . That is why he does not miss him at all. We have peace now.

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