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By | June 25, 2010 97 Comments

Coming soon: Love Fraud, the book!

On and off for the past four years, I’ve been mentioning my upcoming book about my experience with a sociopath, James Montgomery, and my recovery from the ordeal. Well, the book, Love Fraud—How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan, is at the printer, and will be available in about a month.

In writing the book, I had five goals:

  1. Drawing attention to the problem of sociopaths.
  2. Showing how sociopaths weave their web of lies to trap people.
  3. Exposing the impotence of social institutions in dealing with these predators.
  4. Explaining why, from a spiritual perspective, we fall into these relationships.
  5. Offering hope that we can, even after these devastating encounters, recover and flourish.

I’ve launched a new blog specifically for this book. It’s called, simply, Love Fraud ”¦ the book.

I invite all Lovefraud readers to visit the new blog. You’ll find more information about the book. You’ll be able to read the introduction and a chapter. I even have a photo gallery. And, there are reviews. I’ve asked some Lovefraud authors and members to read advance copies of the book and write their impressions. Two are posted.

Autographed and numbered copies, plus FREE shipping

My family, of course, has known for a long time that I’ve been working on the book. Two years ago, my young nephew, then eight years old, asked me, “Can I have the first one?”

Of course, I said yes. Then I thought, how will he know which is the first one?

The solution is autographed and numbered first edition copies, which we’re making available to all Lovefraud readers in a special pre-order offer. If you reserve your book now, while it’s at the printer, when they arrive, I will autograph and number it, in the order in which purchases are received. (We’re up to number 5.)

Plus, SHIPPING IS FREE for all U.S. destinations. International shipping is 40% off.

For more information about this offer, visit the Lovefraud Store.

Different discussion

I’ll keep posting articles on Love Fraud ”¦ the book. As you all have a chance to read the book, you may have questions, which I’ll do my best to answer.

I expect that the blog will take our discussion of entanglements with sociopaths into a new direction. As painful as it was, I learned that the entire experience was an opportunity for spiritual growth. Although we’ve touched on the topic here on the Lovefraud Blog, it will be even more prominent on the new blog.

If you want to post a comment on the Lovefraud Book blog, your regular log-in credentials should work. The log-in link is on right side of the page, at the bottom. If you have any problems, please let me know.

Stop on by.


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Ox Drover

Donna,

this is a great promotional site for the Book, and I hope you sell 10 MILLION COPIES because the word about psychopaths goes with each copy that you sell.

Lovefraud the blog has been a life saver for many of the bloggers here but there are millions of men and women in the US alone who DESPERATELY NEED the information about “what is a psychopath?” Most of them don’t even know that they NEED the information that quantifies and qualifies the thing that is making life a hell on earth for them.

Thanks not only for the book and the blog, but for the many day to day things that you do that impact the lives of everyone here! ((((Hugs)))) and God bless you Donna!

bulletproof

Donna

I happened upon the book whilst looking around the site and had the pleasure of reading the chapter 9, as I have said before and I’ll say it again…it’s awesome… if that chapter is anything to go by.

You took me with you, I felt I was there with you, cringing with you, falling back into the illusion that ‘everything will be fine’ versus no this is a really bad situation!! congratulations, and as I have said before I want to continue the journey with you as I can feel you leading me into safety and growth from this inhumane experience…I know there has to be a spiritual reason and I already realised it’s part of the bigger plan.

I remember when I was in HIS foreign country last year grappling with a nightmare situation, I did tune in to spirit….I did not agree with what I was hearing, which was it’s okay it’s okay…it really was not okay…

super chic

Donna, I really think the new website is wonderful! I read the chapter posted on the site, and I can’t wait to read the book! You and Lovefraud have help me more than I can ever say, and now you will be able to help even more people. Thank you so very very much.

hens

Donna I just ordered your book, it will be one of my most cherished possesion’s. Thank you …
henry

erin1972

Donna
OMG-I read the introduction and it is awesome. I can’t wait to read a chapter, after I finish my dinner. If it weren’t for this blog, I wouldn’t be where I am in my recovery. I would still be stuck in shock and devastation and unable to move. When I first came here, I was in terrible shock, with PTSD, anxiety attacks, and I felt like I was in quicksand or having my feet stuck in concrete. Words can’t describe how much progress I’ve made and how much better I feel. I also shout out a big THANK YOU to all the people on here-it’s impossible to name all of them. I am going to order the book as soon as I get paid next week! I surely hope that it gets the word out and educates people. I want to see it in Barnes and Noble and Borders and all those places like that!

Ox Drover

Goodnight guys, can’t get on any thread but this one!!!!! Monday I am saying GOODBYE to AT& Farkiing T!!!!!!

Frank Lee Speaking

I just ordered my copy. The international shipping cost from USA to Europe was really inexpensive and I look forward to reading about this.

I agree completely that our encounters with sociopaths is designed to have us grow spiritually. I think the guy on the Transsociopathica site called it “our soul evolution trigger”.

Good luck with the book and I hope you sell millions.

bulletproof

Frank Lee Speaking

This is the last hope I have, that the encounter is designed to have us grow spiritually, I can handle it if that is the case!!

“our soul evolution trigger”

Along with Donna’s Book, That’s the most exciting thing I’ve heard yet….I’m off to investigate!! thank you so much!

Frank Lee Speaking

You should be very proud of what you have done Ms Andersen. I have major respect for yourself and others who have been victims of sociopaths, realised that there was a bigger picture to the experience and then turned it around to help others.

I was on another group dealing with sociopaths and some of the posters there were self confessed sociopaths. One of them said something which I will never forget to a victim. “do you ever think that maybe there is a reason for everything in nature, including sociopaths like me?” – After reading this and thinking about it further I had to agree with the sociopath. They come into our lives and “shake it up” and if we process the experience and learn from it we become ultimately more balanced and holistic human beings in the long term. I certainly have.

Another aspect is when you move into this ‘Transsociopathic’ phase (to quote that blog again) – you start to recognise sociopaths like second nature. This is were the ‘100 Monkeys Concept’ comes in and eventually others around us develop this skill as well. In time, we end up with a society were sociopaths cannot hide in plain sight anymore as there is a greatly increased instinctual awareness among society of sociopaths.

This is how we win – in fact, I look around me and I currently see the sociopaths I know in disarray and confusion. There is almost like a ‘fight or flight’ thing going on with most of them. They are not as cocky as they used to be – something seems to be up in sociopath land. They are finding themselves working harder and harder to find prey, and even if they get some it is usually not the rich bounty they enjoyed in the past, or they get found out a lot quicker than they once did. People like yourself Ms Andersen are responsible for this and you should be very proud indeed.

Namaste.

Frank Lee Speaking

bulletproof, there was an amazing blog called Transsociopathica which was nothing but using the sociopath experience to grow spiritually.

The blog owner actually made fools of sociopaths by pretending he believed they were actually demons and the sociopaths played right into his hands by coming on and condesendingly lecturing him on how stupid he was. He literally out sociopath the sociopaths. He took most the blog down unfortunately after he met a nice girl and found happiness in his life. Shame as it was brilliantly written too.

bulletproof

Frank Lee Speaking

I’m just back from visiting the site…what a pity it’s gone! I read through what is there, very interesting. I would have really enjoyed the way he made fools of sociopaths.. he must have deleted the posts, cant find em.. It’s so good to hear he met a nice girl and found happiness, proof there is life after the sociopath.

That sociopaths may be in disarray and confusion makes me smile, that Donna has written a book makes me smile, that the net is closing in ON THEM is such good news.The ‘100 monkey’ phenomenon will see to it that sociopaths will be unable to swagger around for much longer

Ox Drover

Frank lee,

I agree that there is much learning imparted to us by the experiences we have had with sociopaths, along with a great deal of “damage” at the same time. We are able to heal if we grasp the LEARNING. I definitely believe that humans are on a spiritual journey on this earth (whatever your religious or spiritual concepts are) The psychopaths, to me, represent the “demonic” spirits if you will, the purveyors of EVIL, but I also believe that they have CHOSEN that path with a FREE WILL (whether in this life or a previous one). We also, as well as they, can CHOOSE to do good or to do evil.

We have a choice to learn or not to learn. The lesson is presented in our “schoolhouse” of life and we can learn it and not have to repeat that lesson, or we can not learn it, and go on repeating the lesson until we get it.

Looking back over my life, I realize I had many chances to “get the lesson” in dealing with psychopaths in my life and my family, and I didn’t get the lesson, but did get to REPEAT the class until I did finally get the lesson.

I also realized that I cannot “save” these people from themselves, and that everyone else must learn their OWN LESSON and that I cannot save them either.

“Tutoring” others who are working on learning the lesson (like we do here at LF) is the ONLY thing we can do for these people who are WILLING to be “tutored”–that’s what LF does. That’s what Donna’s book and every other book about this kind of thing does. It TUTORS the WILLING, but no one, no book, nothing can make someone wake up or be WILLING to be tutored until the time comes that they themselves see a NEED to learn, to be tutored. That’s why many times warning someone does not work. I have been warned several times by people about a person being UN-trustworthy (i.e. being a Psychopath) but I did not listen.

Years ago I dated one for a while (I was 21) and smitten. I found out he was cheating on me and rushed to a dear male friend who also knew him (he was dating the guy’s sister) and told him tearfully what had happened.

He said to me “Yea, I knew” and I screamed at him “WHY didn’t you tell me?”

His reply was “Would you have believed me?” I knew then he was RIGHT, I would not have believed him.

This incident stuck with me, yet I never put it to USE like I should have, so when I was warned, I DID NOT BELIEVE, and I paid the price financially and emotionally in dealing with psychopaths because I REFUSED to believe the warnings I was given. I ARROGANTLY thought I knew better about these people. I was HOODWINKED.

My arrogance now about spotting them, about not fallling into their trap is not so much, because I know I can be fooled again, even if just for a little while. BUT I have learned how to spot the red flags and when they wave, I RUN. I don’t question those flags, I don’t trivaliaze those flags, I don’t excuse those flags and ONE is all I need to see. One LIE, One TANTRUM, One incidence of DIShonesty to anyone, etc.

I do wish I was optimistic enough to think that the psychopaths will be outed as a group. I think they have been with us since the “Garden of Eden” and will be with us until the “last trump shall sound” but I do believe that “HEAVEN” WILL BE A P-FREE EXISTENCE…..just think about how wonderful even today’s world would be if there were no Ps here. There would be essentially no crooks, no poverty, no wars, no child abuse, no drug addicts, no drunks, no prisons, no crime, we would only have to deal with minor things like diseases and natural disasters like earthquakes. Everyone would work together in peace and harmony and could be trusted. WOW!!! Now tell me that wouldn’t be HEAVEN!

Buttons

Congratulations, Donna!

It just goes to show that something “good” CAN come out of an encounter with a spath. Your experience was horrific, at the very least, but to turn it around into a blog that teaches, leads, heals, and affirms is amazing and encouraging. You’ve offered us hope, help, and a place that’s “safe.”

Brightest, most prosperous blessings!!!

massie

Hi everyone. I’m new here. I have been reading this blog since February and it honestly saved my life. Thanks to each and every one of you who contributed….. Your stories amaze and inspire me. They are heart-wrenching. x -M

Ox Drover

Welcome Massie, glad you are here! This is a wonderful place, just keep on reading and learning and breathing and you will get through it. Glad you are here!

ErinBrock

Massie:
Welcome, welcome!!!!
There are many of us here who feel LF has saved our lives!!!
I hope your safe on your journey to healing.
Keep on reading and learning and we’d love to hear more from you!

Good luck and again….WELCOME!!!

super chic

massie, hello!!! this site saved my life and sanity!!
Nice to meet you, hope you will keep writing!
The people here are really amazing.

ErinBrock

Hey chic….i’m hitten the hay….
hope your keeping in touch with your bro and continuing to visit !!! Even just a pop in to visit.

XXOO
EB

Wini

Donna, I hope you call it Love Fraud the Book, Volume One … with more volumes coming soon …

Peace.

Harold

I have to say I would have enjoyed reading a non-fiction book about a person (or persons) experience with sociopaths – specifically dealing with them through the legal system. Sorry but I have to say this sentence puts me off buying the book: Seeking to understand why her life was ravaged, Donna developed an ability to channel spiritual guidance, and learned that her soul planned the entire debacle.

While I appreciate that some people find solace in religious supports and such, I won’t be reading it. I prefer facts.

Twice Betrayed

Congratulations, Donna! Ordering my copy.

survivorlady

Hi Massie,
Welcome. I am new here too, but already I feel “connected”. Bunch of wonderful people. No one else would understand unless one has been face to face with a sociopath. I sometimes read and read, and after feel better. I felt so alone for awhile because I thought I was the only one. Its been over 1 year for me and I am much better. I have my days…sometimes overwheling trying to raise two teenage kids, working full-time, taking care of my elderly parents, my house and everything else in life….but at the same time I would never give it up….kids are mine to raise the right way (he abbandoned them) and I do not have to play tug of war with anything. But when I get overwhelmed, I come here and read and it makes me feel better. Thank you all, and welcome to you Massie.
Take care.

super chic

Really looking forward to getting the book. I have questions in my mind about the spirtual aspect of things, in addition to recovery. Spathy boy popped by AGAIN, like one of those inflatable clowns that you punch down and it pops back up (ok, maybe they don’t make those anymore! lol).

What’s the lesson here? Do I have to learn the lesson over and over? Be strong and put the armor on everyday!

Ox Drover

Harold, I would like to comment on your deciding to not read the book because of the “spiritual” aspect of Donna’s healing path.

I was one of the reviewers of the “proof” books, and when I received it in the mail in the late afternoon, I LITERALLY could not put it down and read all through the night—I knew the “story” already and how it ended, but could not put the book down.

Donna and I have different “spiritual” paths, but that doesn’t to me mean that she is “nuts” or that I am “nuts” because we believe there is more to the “human condition” than blood and bones and electrolytes, or that we think there is a meaning to the universe. Donna’s personal spiritual beliefs are NOT fiction, they are her beliefs. She is NOT trying to “convert” you or anyone else to those beliefs, simply stating how they helped her cope with the chaos and pain of her recovery and found some meaning in the chaos.

You are welcome to your Lack of spiritual beliefs, but just as we don’t make snide remarks about that, I would appreciate it if you would not make snide remarks about Donna’s beliefs or of anyone else’s beliefs.

super chic

Releasing these actions on a very deep level will be very helpful to me. When spathy was here I still wished my dream was true 🙁 I refuse to be weak and take 10 steps backwards, but it’s tough because I still love my fantasy, I need to release that, it was too harmful to me. I know the predator is still out there, waiting to pounce.

Ox Drover

Dear Chic,

Sweetie, we just have to make NEW GOALS, and point ourselves toward a distant star! But you know, I think that it isn’t the REACHING the goal that is so important as that we are working toward something. That we are enjoying the TRIP! What’s that old saying “Life is what happens while we are making other plans?” Or something like that.

After my husband died I thought there was no way I could be happy alone–and in 2 weeks, it will be 6 years since he died–but I don’t have a relationship, and I’m quite content without one. I feel WHOLE, not empty. If I were to stumble upon a GOOD relationship that would be nice, but it’s still okay without one. I don’t feel sad or incomplete all the time any more. I think reality is a good place to be, as well. I’m satisfried in the skin I’m in.

super chic

I thought I was well on my road to recovery, but I guess I wasn’t… because just seeing him and talking to him for a few minutes when he made the suprise pop-in visit really made me sad. I do want to enjoy the “trip”, I don’t want to “wait” until some special undefined moment happens, otherwise I miss my life, exactly what you said, Oxy… rignt now the days are just blowing by.

I think there is a big difference between being alone and being lonely.
Like Dr. Phil said “If I have to be alone, I’m a good person to do it with”!!!!!

erin1972

Shabby-you’re right about a difference between being alone and being lonely. There is nothing wrong with choosing to be alone. I have done that. There is a guy at work who I really like and he likes me. I will not date him though. I will never date at work again and I have that big problem with the self hatred and I will be NO good to anyone while I’m like this. I wouldn’t want to hurt him or waste his time because he is really nice. One day, once I leave this job and I’m well, I would consider it if he were still single, but NOT now. Being alone is OK!!!

Ox Drover

Dear Chic,

I don’t know if you remember when I ran into my egg donor in the grocery store! WHEW! I had thought I was “doing fine” but it threw me for a loop. For about 18 hours I was literally SICK with the adrenaline surge it gave me.

Healing is a couple of steps forward one back, thre.e forward 2 back, it just goes in waves and sometimes we back up more than we took forward, but keep heading in the right direction and you will get there.

Next week, the 14th is the 6th year anniversary of my husband’s death—so far I’m okay but who knows, it may hit me hard, but whatever happens I will be OK.

SO WILLYOU!

BTW Erin72, your comment is VERY SOLID and very mature, and you are right, right now you aren’t where you need to be to be in a relationship, and that’s okay. The people I think that NEVER HEAL are those that jump into a new relationship as soon as possible thinking that will save them from the pain. NOPE, doesn’t work that way. Got to heal FIRST, then a new relationship in my humble opinion.

erin1972

Oxy, you are 100% right about that. Healing must be done first before dating and relationships. After each S/N relationship that I had, there was a long break without any dating. Unfortunately, I never did anything to help myself during those long breaks. I stuffed the self hatred down inside me and tried to forget about it. I realized after this man, who was the first love I felt, that something had to be done. I will NEVER go through that kind of pain again. If I don’t heal now and stop the cycle, it will happen again. I finally realize that I don’t deserve any more of those KIND of relationships. I deserve the best there is in life and I won’t get it unless I heal.

Ox Drover

AMEN SISTA!!!!!

The reason I hooked up with the Psychopath after my husband died was I was so wounded and hadn’t healed or finished the grief process. I looked to someone else to get rid of myy pain, to make me happy. ISN’T GONNA HAPPEN!

I have got to make myself happy FIRST then if a relationship happens OK, great, but not until. I’ve preached this sermon here at LF for going on 3 years now and unfortunately not a lot of (especially) the younger women want to believe me, but every one I know who has hooked up with someone TOO SOON has regretted it. Some you never hear about, they just drop off the blog, but some come back once in a while.

After my divorce in 1980 I was miserable and almost two years later, I REALIZED one day out of the blue that I WAS HAPPY. Then I started dating. Didn’t marry for several more years but still happiness sort ofr sneaks up on us when we aren’t looking.

Erin72, you are getting the drift at least intellectually, and it will take a while longer to “get it” emotionally imbedded but you are working on progress and that is what counts! Getting it through my thick skull as MaryJo Buttafucio , hey if she can do it so can we! (((hugs))))

super chic

I guess I haven’t figured out how not to be be bored, to just be happy alone, does that mean I’m a boring person? OMG! I had not even thought of that! LOL. I don’t mind being alone / single, but I do get very lonely. I can’t go out by myself, shopping–yes, a movie or dinner? NO WAY!!! Oxy, when you remind me about the incident with you egg donor — then I remember, otherwise I suffer from CRS !!!!!

one/joy_step_at_a_time

shabby – if you can’t do things by yourself then no wonder yo are bored! what’s holding you back?

super chic

one, I know!!! Last year I went over to the Venice Beach boardwalk one day, zillions of people, I know I didn’t stand out or anything… and the more I walked around BY MYSELF, the more lonely I felt, poor me!! I even had a blanket, umbrella and chair in the car and went out and sat on the beach for 2 hours. Everyone else was with someone, bf, gf, families. I couldn’t wait to get home.

I’ve tried to figure it out!!! Immense shame at being alone? Having no one to talk to? Feeling awkward? I have gone out to movies and events with my meetup.com group, it’s fun, nice people, haven’t made any “close” friends from that, I haven’t been doing that either, just in a major big SLUMP!!! Maybe I should change my screen name to slumpychic! Oh, I forgot, I do go out and do volunteer work, and my married sister tries to include me in going out once in a while. AAaaarrrrggghhhh!!!!

super chic

pilgrimage, I pratically wrote (above) the same thing you said on the other thread,
sometimes it feels less lonely at home!!! We have got
to get ourselves out of the house! It’s making us crazy!

pilgrimage

Yes we did write the same thing and I agree. However I am crazy regardless if I am out and about or licking my wounds at home…alas

Ox Drover

Pilgrimage and Chic,

I had to laugh at your posts! I can just “see” Chic out at Venice Beach–I lived in Santa Monica back in the old days and I have a friend who live in Venice now. I used to love to go to Venice and to the Santa Monica Pier and my kids got to ride on the old merry go round before it was swept out to sea by the big storm. They don’t remember it but I do.

Yea it can be “lonely” in a crowd like that, but also I have never been so shy that I didn’t find someone to talk to at least. Some one standing around alone or a couple with a kid. Even now I will talk to young mothers with babies in Wal Mart and ask “What department did you get that in?” and chuck the kid under the chin and tell the mom how cute they are, I always get a sweet and happy response from both mom or dad and the baby too and it warms my heart!

Sometimes people will actually open up and tell me what burden they are having. I had a man the other day tell me his little boy had Autisim, and the child while very cute, did not make eye contact with me when I spoke to him (he looked like he was maybe 2-2 1/2) and I could tell the father was burdened by this as he was shopping or he wouldn’t have spoken to me about this and most people in the store wouldn’t have picked up on the kid being a “bit different” but I suspect the kid was going to have some pretty big problems from the way he acted, but maybe by being caught early he can be helped to at least be higher functioning.

I like to read so I don’t have problems filling my time, and I read both “chewing gum for the mind” books and serious historical books and books on self help, psychology etc. So I am never bored with that and a computer and a cell phone I’m always occupied. I don’t feel “out of touch” with others just because I am “alone” physically, even if I am not interacting with others, because I know I CAN if I feel the need.

ErinBrock

Chic:
Stand out in VENICE BEACH????
Yeah….I don’t imagine you were the one rollerskating topless with oxy’s feather hat on your head and playing a ukalale that day. 🙂
Maybe you should plan a road trip. I could keep you occupied! 🙂
We could go JETSKIING and dig up my yard and chat away as we do both!

super chic

EB, hahahahaaha!! Maybe I should have dressed up like that! Then somebody would have noticed me!! Yeah, that’s the ticket! I could wear the same outfit on the Jetski!! Oh, if I did that I would be run out of town on a rail, there would be no time to dig & chat! I’ll be over in about 9 hours!

ErinBrock

I’d love it!
I’m off to the thriftstore to aquire a matching outfit!

Ox Drover

I got to laughing about EB’s comment about standing out on Venice beach yea I haven’t been there is 20+ years, but if it is anything now like it used to be, you could be roller skating naked with TWO HEADS and TWO feather hats, with a Komodo dragon on a leash, and still NOT STAND OUT AS STRANGE!!! LOL In fact, that was always the FUN of going to Venice Beach is you’d have stories of who and what you saw on the beach for DAYS afterwards and lots of good laughs.

Now the best I can do is sit in the car in the Wal Mart Parking lot or look at those PICTURES OF “WAL MART PEOPLE” and they even have a web site for that now! But you know, no matter how overweight or old you are, or how tatty your clothes look, you can always find someone who makes you feel like you are a freaking MOVIE STAR, and if you look at the photos of formerly sexy movie stars who have had “bad plastic surgery” or “plastic surgery gone wrong” you will feel absolutely BEAUTIFUL!

Hey is anyone keeping up with what Mel Gibson is mouthing off to his GF/wife or whatever she is and they have a kid together, is he acting/talking like a psychopath or whatever? Yea!!!!!! he sure is. What a jerk! TROs against each other, and racial slurs and nasty comments….real class…NOT!

ErinBrock

Oh….yeah….MEL GIBSON…..
His mask is a fallen….BIG TIME!!

Nothing like self exposure in the press.

I love the fact she used the digi recorder to capture him telling her she deserved to be hit, on tape!!!

Wanna see an enraged ferrit……check out the cage MG is currently in.

Spathy Asshole!

witsend

shabbychic,
Hi there! I was reading what you had said about going out alone and not enjoying it.
I have been there….In that same place, thinking what is the point of going out alone? Its no fun.
But being a thinker that I am I also concluded that it isn’t alot of fun staying home alone. So I gave careful consideration of what MIGHT be fun to do alone, and what absolutely wouldn’t be worth it to me.
I had to be creative because some of the things that I knew that I did enjoy, I did NOT enjoy alone.

Such as going out to eat. I love going out to eat once in awile.
But I like good company and good conversation to go along with the good food. So I nixed that off the list.

Going to the movies. Not fun for me by myself…So I nixed that. However in the winter I love to rent a few chick flicks and have a lazy day watching movies. So it’s not exactly getting out but I added it to my list as winter entertainment.

I was still having trouble finding what might be fun to get out of the house….. But I finally came up with a few ideas for things I enjoy. I love old estate auctions. Because I love old stuff. At first I thought I wouldn’t enjoy them alone. But I do. I can focus better and don’t get involved with as much conversation and miss something going onto the auction block as if I were talking to a friend. And lots of people go to auctions alone so you can even strike up conversations. Going to second hand shops and antique shops is also fun for me.

Another thing I found I liked to do in the summer was go to the beach and lay in the sun with a book. But a small beach. I hated going to the larger beaches where it is so crowded alone. I found a small beach and the right “time” to go in the early afternoon, and I stayed until dinner time. I did that all summer one year, twice a week. (no more, I don’t worship the sun like I used to 🙂

The other thing I try to do is make nice meals sometimes for myself. It makes up for not going out to eat on the weekends.
Not just throw something together but more like you would prepare a special meal for company. I prepare it as if I was the “company”…..Even homemade croutons for the salad 🙂

Now these same ideas wouldn’t necessarily be fun for you…But I had to think outside the box, of what I normally would consider fun as well.
I just tried to think of places where I might enjoy my own company rather than feel out of place.

The beach, the year I went all summer long, was the cheapest entertainment ever. And the bonus was I had a killer tan that year. So I felt better about how I looked as well 🙂

super chic

witty, thank you VERY MUCH for taking the time to write your ideas to me. You are right, I have to take some time and figure out a few things that I don’t mind doing alone. A small beach is a very good idea (I’ll use sunscreen!) and I’m sure if I really think about it I’ll come up with more ideas, I like your suggestions about making myself a nice dinner, renting some good movies, maybe I could go to estate/garage sales, wander around some small beach towns (the problem here is the traffic). I really appreciate your kindness. I wish we could all get together and sit on the beach!!!!! That would be Fun!!! 🙂

ErinBrock

My beach is only 9 hours away!
Great weather….no humidity, 80 degrees and beautiful scenery!
(And the JET SKI)! 🙂

super chic

Aaaaahhhh, sounds perfect!
I’m going to dream about it all day!! 🙂

Ox Drover

EB, you and I are NOT so far from our beaches—we can look in the mirror! I even have a big old sleeping Tee shirt that says I am “MS Beach to you!” LOL

Hey, I know what we could do, we could go to some kind of Mel Gibson event and throw rotten tomatoes at him! And boo and hoot! and [email protected] Now that would be FUN! In fact, there are lots of celebs we could do that to that have acted like Ps.

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