On and off for the past four years, I’ve been mentioning my upcoming book about my experience with a sociopath, James Montgomery, and my recovery from the ordeal. Well, the book, Love Fraud—How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan, is at the printer, and will be available in about a month.
In writing the book, I had five goals:
- Drawing attention to the problem of sociopaths.
- Showing how sociopaths weave their web of lies to trap people.
- Exposing the impotence of social institutions in dealing with these predators.
- Explaining why, from a spiritual perspective, we fall into these relationships.
- Offering hope that we can, even after these devastating encounters, recover and flourish.
I’ve launched a new blog specifically for this book. It’s called, simply, Love Fraud ”¦ the book.
I invite all Lovefraud readers to visit the new blog. You’ll find more information about the book. You’ll be able to read the introduction and a chapter. I even have a photo gallery. And, there are reviews. I’ve asked some Lovefraud authors and members to read advance copies of the book and write their impressions. Two are posted.
Autographed and numbered copies, plus FREE shipping
My family, of course, has known for a long time that I’ve been working on the book. Two years ago, my young nephew, then eight years old, asked me, “Can I have the first one?”
Of course, I said yes. Then I thought, how will he know which is the first one?
The solution is autographed and numbered first edition copies, which we’re making available to all Lovefraud readers in a special pre-order offer. If you reserve your book now, while it’s at the printer, when they arrive, I will autograph and number it, in the order in which purchases are received. (We’re up to number 5.)
Plus, SHIPPING IS FREE for all U.S. destinations. International shipping is 40% off.
For more information about this offer, visit the Lovefraud Store.
Different discussion
I’ll keep posting articles on Love Fraud ”¦ the book. As you all have a chance to read the book, you may have questions, which I’ll do my best to answer.
I expect that the blog will take our discussion of entanglements with sociopaths into a new direction. As painful as it was, I learned that the entire experience was an opportunity for spiritual growth. Although we’ve touched on the topic here on the Lovefraud Blog, it will be even more prominent on the new blog.
If you want to post a comment on the Lovefraud Book blog, your regular log-in credentials should work. The log-in link is on right side of the page, at the bottom. If you have any problems, please let me know.
Stop on by.
Yes….and i honor the beach in me!!!
Dang….if I was nicer…I don’t know where i’d be at right now…..
Proly coming to ark. with trailer in tow to hang on the ‘beach’ with fat and hairy!
I’d be your roommate.
You can be my roommate any time EB–gosh can you imagine the TWO OF US in one house? LOL ROTFLMAO It wouldn’t be safe for anyone for 100 miles around!
Today’s been a slow one, The two vehicles I have here are neither one running, minior stuff but D will be home in a couple of days so I will hunker down and let him fix them when he gets home. The last of the kiddie campers left out of the camp at noon today. Odd schedule they had this year, decreased number of weeks and doubled the number of campers so it was a BUSY one for them. So staff just has to finish up the put away chores and it is over for the year.
He will be dead when he gets home, but I have a “huny dew” list for him so he can’t slack off long!
It has given me some time though to order and read some books. I’m doing a “study” of prisons/recidivism and a few connected things in US and other places. Our prison systems are I think making things worse not better, but I can’t fix it all, but would like to know more about it in any case.
Keeps me occupied at least and I feel good if I am learning things even things that not many other people are really interested in. Keeps me out of the bars and off the streets!
Our beaches have oil all over them. I don’t go anyway. I don’t look great with a tan. I have good fair skin and I wear spf 85 when I go outside in it. I do have to love my farmer tan that I still get. I have shirt marks and bike short marks on my legs-Oh well.
Ya’ll I had to learn a long time ago to do everything that I want to do by myself. Sometimes I get in these really bad funks and don’t want to go out because of my low self esteem. I have an easier time by myself because I feel no one is judging me. My mother and sisters always made me feel like people were judging me. If we went out and I ordered anything other than salad, comments were made about my weight. My sisters deal with stress/problems by not eating and they are both anorexic. I tend to comfort myself with food. I am not like them because what happened to Karen Carpenter was a really big huge thing for me. I always always loved her music. After she died from cardiac arrest in her early 30’s from anorexia, I read everything I could get my hands on about her AND anorexia/bulemia. I knew after that there was NO WAY I was going there.
Anyway, the times between my socio relationships, I was great at being Ms Independent and doing everything by myself. Those relationships would tear that out of me and I would become a different person. When I was with A***, suddenly I couldn’t be alone anymore and all my independence was shot. Now I wonder if maybe I’m meant to be single. I don’t like the way I change when I get into a relationship. I like the fact that I do whatever I want by myself. I go out and exercise-bike rides, movies, plays, dinner,shopping. I’ve done it all by myself.
Right now I am sitting on the couch typing here and drinking a 190 Octane and it’s giving me a stuffy nose.
Dear E72,
I’m sorry about your beaches being scummed by the oil. Some of my best memories are walking along the beaches in So. LA and MS and going out with a throw net, or a lantern and a spear fishing for flounder….or landing at Lake Front Airport.
I know NO, LA has changed a lot from the times I lived there in the 60s, the last itme I was there and it was YEARS ago, the Quarter was “nasty” to me, not “titilating” like it had been when I was a kid in the early 60s—I drove up to Slidell which had been a sleeply little town of 6-7,000 when I lived there and it is now 100K? residents and totally different now.
But nothing ever stays the same except CHANGE! LOL
Sugar, don’t make me get the skillet out again, you and I are gonna have to “talk” about this carp from your egg donor and her daughter–the carp they layed on you, just like the carp my egg donor layed on me—is just that—THEM, we do NOT HAVE TO BUY IT. Sure they DID it, intending to make us feel belittled but WE DO NOT HAVE TO BUY IT, they cannot MAKE us FEEL Anything, if we REFUSE to FEEL THAT.
And we WILL refuse to feel bad because they are arseholes!
Think about it, E72, THEY are the ones with the PROBLEMS, they get off on making others feel badly—I REFUSE TO GIVE THEM THE SATISFACTION! Now write that 500 times! LOL
And you know what, it has been a South Lousiana day here in Arkansas with lo 90s and 98% humidity and I’m gonna go have me a great big COOL salad for supper! And not because someone else thinks I’m too fat,. but becausae THAT’S WHAT I WANT!!!! Now shape up Sugar, it is too hot for this old woman to be swining that heavy skillet! ((((Hugs)))))
That’s awesome that you lived here. Did you know that the Quarter doesn’t smell so bad anymore. They hired this great company that picks up the garbage every 4 hours and in the early morning, they spray all the streets down with this lemon scented disinfectant.
Don’t worry about getting out the skillet. I’m alright. I cut the mom and sisters out and don’t really care what they think. I’m glad to have my extra lbs instead of skin covered bones like the sisters have. I eat clean and healthy during the week and cheat a little on the weekend and that’s ok with me cuz I’m active. I have lost 3 lbs and I’m active. My butt is actually horribly sore right now cuz I’ve been trying to ride my bike as much as possible. Before the storms came in today, I was riding my bike on the Missississippi River Trail on the levee. I was started out by the zoo and was going to ride to Huey P Bridge and back but only made it to Ochsner cuz my but hurt to bad and forgot to put on my sunblock. It will still a good ride. The levee has hills and the temps were mid 90s with 80% humidity and it was windy.
I wrote my post to tell others that it is ok to be a 37 year old female who does everything she wants by herself. I don’t miss out on life cuz I’m alone. I go where I want and when I want, to do whatever I want. Sometimes it’s lonely but I’d rather do than stay in just cuz I’m by myself. Next week I am going for the mandatory class for my concealed gun permit and I am so excited. I love being out in the heat and humidity. I also am getting my hurricane stuff together cuz I’m on the storm team at work. Hurricanes are big money for those nurses who stay. You get paid 24hrs a day-evening if you’re sleeping. Once you hit the 40 yrs you are on time and half. After Gustave in 2008, I had a $7300 paycheck. That is heavy savings for the police academy.
I am actually feeling quite OK about my life right about now! 🙂
That’s great!!!! I used to end up staying at the hospital during ice storms, but was on salary most of the time so didn’t get any big checks! But someone has to do it!
Get you one of those banana seats for your butt or whatever they call them now.
I lived in Slidell, and we went to NO quite often though, and on weekends when we were in town would go to the Quarter and see shows, it was exciting for a little girl from the boondocks in Arkansas. One of the guys who worked for my sperm donor would usually have a date and I could go with them, or we’d go as a group. I left there in 1966 though. LONG time ago!
erin72 – i have been doing some investigating into sunscreens. given that I am toxin loaded, I wanted more info about safety and sunscreen. i used to work for the cancer society and dutifully slathered on the lotion.
i won’t be anymore. closely woven fabrics, umbrellas and hats are my new ‘sunscreen’.
http://www.ewg.org/2010sunscreen/full-report/
silver, I lost the thread where I said
I was going out of my head…
I wanted to thank you for the post you wrote to me.
I appreciate it very much!!!!!!! xoxoxoxo
E72
Its VERY interesting to hear from some one on the Gulf Coast about what is happening. I hope you’ll keep posting about it. Its awful and I have no doubt worse than we far away can guess.
Don’t make forgone conclusions about being alone or not. That’s not something you can control. Just be you. Be happy that you are and you have a lot to be happy about.
I admire you and your strength and independence are a model for me and I am sure others.
Its ok to be independent and its ok to be you in the world. One of the things I believe is that nature abhors a vacum. Leave room, but don’t focus on being alone or in couple. That part is what we can’t control.
I wish I had a crystal ball and could read how it all goes for myself, for you and for any of us. Wouldn’t that be cool? But the truth and the real is life doesn’t work like that.
You are on you way to where you want to be and so far, its going great. Keep going. Be at peace. One day, I bet you are going to lookback on all this as a blip in your life and wonder how you let it get you so far down, but you’ll be so far from it, it will seem like a tiny dot on the timeline…
Best to you,
Donna, I am very excited about the release of your book! I imagine that you’re going to be very busy with a book tour and talk shows – I hope to God that this finally opens the door wide on sociopathy in general terms.
Many of the previous research articles are based upon convicted criminals – they are involved in research because they’re all corralled in one place and must submit to testing, etc., whereas the general public isn’t mandated to test, etc. There is no bona fide research available that involves the general public, and your book is going to point to the fact that one doesn’t have to be a convicted felon to be identified as a sociopath.
I wish you much success and continued healing, Donna – without this site and your courage, I would be in a much different emotional place, right now.
Brightest blessings to you!!