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Dark Triad in the office: Psychopath, Machiavellian, narcissist

In his new book, Oliver James, a British psychologist and TV broadcaster, describes the worst of white-collar workers.

Why your boss could easily be a psychopath, on Telegraph.co.uk.

Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader.



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42 Comments on "Dark Triad in the office: Psychopath, Machiavellian, narcissist"

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((strongawoman))
I know, sweetie, me too. Just thinking about the wounded little girl makes me cry. I don’t know how to make it better for her.

We can’t change the past. She has only now.

Skylar, 100% spot on: “We can’t change the past. She only has now.”

When I “met” my “inner child,” it was grievous – that’s the only way that I can describe it. When I reached out to her, a few days later, I sort of used your words, above. Sort of like….I can’t take the hurt away, but I can make sure that today, onward, the hurt won’t happen, if that makes any sense.

I think that’s the only way that I could approach this painful “meeting” of the “inner child.” I gave her a new name and, in my mind’s eye, addressed her using that name. It’s a weird and surrealistic approach to this whole process of recovery, and I really, REALLY did not – did NOT – want to do this particular work. My counselor gave me a headsup on the grief aspect, and I heard the words, but I was not prepared for such a visceral and deep reaction.

Skylar, your “inner child” has “now,” but she also has YOU to soothe her and speak to her, rationally, when everything begins to spiral out of control. For me, that’s the impressive benefit of this whole exercise. We learn how to rely upon our own selves to validate, approve, accept, and nurture our own selves instead of endlessly seeking it from other sources.

Brightest blessings

About 5 years ago, as a Christmas gift for my mother, I took all the old Super-8 movies that my father shot and put them on DVDs. I was familiar with most of the films, but there was the one small reel that I had never seen before, shot in 8mm, not Super-8. I did not have any means of viewing this reel, but I processes it anything, thinking if it was nothing of value, I could delete it from the finished DVD.

That “lost” reel happened to be film of my first birthday party.

Having this video has helped me immeasurably. I consider it to be the real me, before all issues of childhood and adulthood resulted in a person different than the baby boy.

As an adult, I am shy unless in a comfortable situation, serious and somewhat reserved, often moody and withdrawn.

As a one-year old, I was none of that. I was happy, outgoing and gregarious. At one, I could walk very well and you see me adventuring around the back yard. That adventuring and an attraction for mechanical things (you can see me interested with a lawn mower) are the only consistent traits in my adulthood. Of, an liking of the color red!

This is “pre” inner child. This is the person I know am I and can be — happy, outgoing and fun.

What is most amazing about this video is that I have only been around this extended family for six months. I was adopted and spent the first six months of my life in NY Foundling Hospital. There is no evidence of anything but a very well adjusted and happy baby.

The rest happened thereafter.

Sadly, many of the people in the video are now dead. Several more are emotionally dead, victims of childhood sexual abuse and other abuses. While some of these people have had an indirect negative affect on my life, I have learned to let go and feel no shame.

Most important, I no longer feel guilty about being me and my only goal is to make myself happy. I am not yet the boy in the video, but each day I get a bit closer.

One of the techniques I was given by a therapist was when I was feeling guilty or hurt, was to ask myself “why is my critical (inner) parent beating my inner child? Funny thing was, I could usually find the answer.

BBE ~

Wow, what insight. Thank you. I really don’t know what else to say.

Oxy
What a GREAT tool. Again, a gem.
Katy, saving that one too.

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