Last week I happened to read a Dear Abby column in the newspaper. A woman wrote to Abby that she had been married to a man for 15 years who was controlling and manipulative, along with being emotionally, economically and sexually abusive. The letter-writer termed her husband narcissistic and passive-aggressive, but in my view he may be a sociopath.
The woman is filing for divorce. Her dilemma is that her husband projects a “good guy” image, and she fears that if she accuses him of abuse, no one will believe her.
Abby’s advice was to tell a few close girlfriends what really happened. “The truth will spread like wildfire,” Abby wrote.
I wonder if Abby gave good advice for this situation. I’m sure the advice would be helpful under most circumstances. But if this guy is a sociopath, there’s a good chance that he’s already started the smear campaign against his wife—telling people that she’s mentally unbalanced, a terrible mother, and cheating on him.
What do you think?
Read the letter, Truth of abusive marriage will tarnish man’s sterling image. Then tell us if you think Abby’s plan will work.
I don’t usually read advice columns, but if this is the type of advice they dish out in the newspaper…..then it’s no wonder there is so much misinformation circulating about personality disorders.
It’s columns like this Dear Abby piece that is part of the problem.
ErinB-you know I was IN control of it. It now just makes me motivated to step up my workouts now. She is a LITTLE smaller than me but not for long with all the fast food wrappers and cups in that car!!! Now the fun part will be when she finds out that we’re in the same building!!! You know I just LOVE having the upper hand. It’s the first time in a long time. I went straight home got my bike and hit the trails in the blazing heat and humidity, I was smiling my whole bike ride thinking about it!!!! I also had to laugh because her back bumper is all scrunched in and I figured out why today-that thing cannot park a car. She had to back up and reposition 5 times to get in the spot!!!
Silver-you know it! I definitely have a new feeling of confidence now. I was laughing my ass off driving out the parking garage and all the way down the street past HIS office. They are a match made in HELL-what freaking women takes back a man who has cheated with 4 documented women? Now I know!! I’m sure her office looks no better than her car!!!
e72,
Keep Laughing!!!!!!!!!!!! It is the best medicine!
I don’t either know what kind of woman that is. It would be worth an article probably.
Just be glad that WE AIN”T THEM! HA!
Too bad you didn’t take the elevator down with her and chat her up a bit…..all smiley and BFFie…..sweet as pie!
Ya just never know the opportunity that will arise in the future.
And guess what…..damn right…..you’ll be prepped and ready for it!
🙂
Erin-I thought about doing just that but I was busy putting my make-up on in the car. I always have to look my absolute best now when I go to work. I will have to control my laughter when I come face to face with her. She is going to FREAK when she finds out that I work there!
erin1972:
TOWANDA!!!!!!!
🙂 🙂
erin – i am truly glad that you did not feel disempowered as you were afraid you might. it’s rather inspiring, no? good for you!
revel in the feeling of freedom from within and don’t get caught too long in the attachment to feeling a power over her or the situation.
best,
melody
Oxy- I can’t get out of my head your post about the poor spath victim that died!… Since the spath I have tried to drum into my head all the time – Life is no dress rehearsal and we only get one chance at this life! I do this to try to over ride the pain of the past and I want to win by being happy, an emotion he doesn’t really know!
To know abuse is one thing and I left the spath when our child was a baby, thankfully because I couldn’t imagine the spath turning my kids against me and that would be exactly what would happen if he was still around. It is such a lonely, scary place when people don’t believe what you are saying and believe the lies of a monster that people think butter wouldn’t melt in there mouths.
I had to cull all those peeps that believed the spath as the stress and anxiety was doing my head in and in the darkest days I didn’t want to live anymore because I couldn’t handle the persecution when I had done nothing sinister except love evil and I busted my arse to make him happy for years, and for what?
Anyhoo thank god she found a friend in you and hope she is finally at peace x
In my experience, if a narcissist has a squeaky-clean public image, WE come off looking like bitter ex-wives no matter what the truth is. People just close their eyes and prefer to deal with The Mask that the narcissist wears, rather than believe that that wonderful church man, the family man, the funny and charming guy they know is, in private, a lying, womanizing, emotionally abusive jerk.
I used to believe that these guys would “get theirs” ultimately, but after seeing how my ex just moved on, remarried, and kept his reputation in tact in spite of all the affairs, broken marriages, and heartache he caused, I know now that there simply IS no justice in this world, and I question whether there will be any in the next. Hey! Even St. Peter probably likes to feel like he is The Man and narcissists are really, really good at that! LOL