The American Psychiatric Association is in the process of updating its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, the DSM-5. This is the “bible” used by psychiatrists and other mental health professionals to diagnosis psychiatric conditions, including antisocial personality disorder. Two members of the committee working on personality disorders have resigned, stating that the proposal displays a “stunning disregard for evidence.”
Dr. Liane Leedom and I had issues with how the first draft described antisocial personality disorder, which was why we conducted a Lovefraud survey back in 2010. Based on the survey results, we submitted Lovefraud’s  comment about sociopaths for the DSM-5. The description was since revised, but apparently there are professionals who are still dissatisfied.
If the professionals can’t agree, no wonder the rest of us are confused.
Two who resigend from DSM-5 explain why, on PyschologyToday.com.
Eralyn,
My hair started falling out 6 months after my ordeal started. It has been 2.5 years and it still hasn’t grown back. It fell out in handfuls/clumps. I know it was related to the stress. I did lots of healthy things to try to recover but I couldn’t really begin in earnest until after the POW shock wore off (I know what you mean!). Starting about a year and a half ago, I started rebuilding my immune system from scratch. My hair stopped falling out but it is now 2/3 what it used to be.
My ability to work suffered also. My kids are the most important thing, always have been.
I know our stories sound bizarre to people who have never lived such a thing. I know you are not crazy. 🙂
20years: so sorry this has happened to you.
I can relate to what you are saying.
This stalking has gone on for just about 13 years now.
At one point, I actually ‘befriended’ it and let the slime
close to me. Close enough, in fact, that it almost killed
me, in more than one way.
I am absolutely convinced and so are my doctors and
the local authorities that “IDIOT BOX” was and is responsible
for the stress related portion. I had a massive heart attack
in the midst of a horrendous and disgusting part of my life,
due to the extra adrenalin and stress I was under. Almost
like an ‘adrenalin’ overload. I had a complete breakdown,
psychologically and medically and biologically.
My hair went from a very dark/red pigment to absolutely
stoned, 1,000% solid white in the past almost 3 years
and I am absolutely convinced that the stress CAN
kill you. Absolutely. Never mind what the heart is
telling you: this is survival, at least it was for me.
Yes, after my heart attack, I had to push all this
dramarama and chaos and stress away from me.
I would not have survived the past two years, if
I hadn’t of. I now have an irreversible, irrepairable
heart condition that can take my life at any moment.
It’s called sudden cardiac death/arrest. So, you can
imagine what that was like for me…coming home from
the hospital being stalking by “IDIOT BOX” and his
band of merry ‘minions’.
I am rebuilding myself, too, 20years. It has taken me almost
3 years, but I am getting there. I have had to recover in more
than one way. Every thing about my life changed, all at once.
I woke up in the hospital and there I was, barely alive and “”IT”
was still stalking me and threatening me.
Yes, absolutely: your children are the most important.
Consider how you can stop the cycle, for them.
Protect them and give them an edge up on life,
for later, with your wisdom, insight and strength.
Our stories ARE completely bizarre to people who have
never lived such a thing. No, we are NOT ‘crazy’…they
aren’t either: they are DISORDERED. Nobody that can
scheme and plot like they do is ‘crazy’; trust me. They
know exactly what they are doing. Half the time they
are so smart, that is what causes them their troubles.
Peace and blessing, 20years…
Dupey
Oh, one thing I heard all the time was this:
“Well, what did you do to him?”
hahahahahaha
That’s just it: whatever I did to him,
it’s all in his mind. He said it was
all in MINE but that isn’t true.
There are too many just like me
on the score card. Comprende?
He has a BIG FAT HISTORY.
And it all happened long before “I” entered the scene….
People do NOT believe us because they are scared.
It shakes their world and makes them uneasy.
They think we are over reacting and we aren’t.
I try not to hate the people who have pushed me aside,
without their understanding. If I were to allow myself
to despise all those who have pushed me off the cliff,
along the way, I would end up just like “IDIOT BOX”
and that’s not going to happen as long as I have a
beating heart left in my chest. You hear me?
“I” win this battle with evil.
ME. Period.
I am mostly happy when people don’t understand
because THAT means they DONT know what that
kind of evilness is like. AMEN.
BFTE,
You are the picture of body/mind health! It really does take a toll on physical health.
I, too, have heard “what did you do to him?” and “why would he still be after you after this much time?” How the HELL would I know? I don’t think or act like this lune.
His own aunt said exactly what you did above, his crap started long before you. She said this not understanding how his mother could believe he was the victim when we all knew it was a lie.
I am sorry you have been through this but you sound very strong! Very Strong. The saying makes me uncomfortable “that which does not kill you only makes you stronger” but I feel for all of us who had to nearly be killed to be this strong. What’s the point of that? Except hopefully a life lesson which serves us in the future somehow.
I posted on anther article that my hair turned gray in clumps throughout the crown of my head in a 3 month period during all of this. The girl who does my hair and has for over a decade was surprised and made me look at it. I can’t see it luckily from the front. lol….. Maybe God did that for me. lol
I am glad you survived your heart condition and are alive. I am also glad that creep has left you be. I saw you are on 6 mos. no contact I think so that can only help.
Dupey, I’m with you. That’s why I always say to people, “bless you if this has not (yet?) happened to you… I don’t know how you *would* understand.”
Do I want to go back to those days when I still believed the world was good and people had good will towards one another, and if we had an argument, it was just due to misunderstandings and poor communication?
No, I guess not. Not if it isn’t TRUE. I might like it to be true. I just know now that it is NOT.
(I believed it for a good many decades, though. so I guess I can understand why my family and friends still live in that “fake” universe I still walk around in, but don’t really live there)
I am sorry for your stress-induced illnesses. I knew if I stayed married to my spath, it would kill me. I knew it. I was so sick when I was with him. Even though I have had my ups and downs since then (been about 14 years since leaving), I am way healthier than what was going rapidly downhill for me then.
I mean — skin eruptions and rashes like you wouldn’t believe! I had not had these before. Doctors couldn’t help. I looked ugly. I had actually reached a state of “acceptance” about my faded beauty. And then I left my husband. And my skin cleared up and I looked pretty again for the first time in years! I couldn’t believe it!
I also was catching one cold after another and couldn’t shake it. My husband was SO ANGRY WITH ME for being sick and ugly all the time. (right? LOL) I wanted to be well. But I didn’t know how.
Then one day, I got this sense that I was going to get something really bad and probably terminal, if I didn’t leave the marriage.
Anyway — I’m disgustingly healthy now. I would like my hair to grow back, and maybe it will. (I have treated my entire immune system with everything supportive i could throw at it). If it doesn’t, though, that’s OK. It is no longer falling out. 🙂
I hope you can rebuild your health and strength, too. I understand that sometimes great damage is done. I do believe, though, that our bodies are created to heal themselves. I hope this will happen for you.
One of the deciding factors for me in finally leaving my ex was that I suddenly but intuitively knew that I would die if I didn’t. I’d been having chest pains for years. My hair was also falling out. I felt like I was aging rapidly. And, I think may have been poisoning me, but I’ll never really know for sure. I was having dizzy spells, and a weird “brain fog” that stopped when he moved out.
Anyway, my chest pains stopped, but my hair has not come back. It doesn’t seem to be falling out anymore though. I feel healthier, but I’m awfully depressed. It’s only been a month since the divorce was final, so I guess I need to be patient with myself.
20 years, what did you do to treat your immune system?
What is it with this hair falling out thing?!? (or the sudden gray patch/white thing?)
Wow!!!!! How many of us have had this happen to us?!?
20years and Lovinglem,
My neighbor suffered from hair loss and hers did grow back after a year. She, too, did the immune system boosting. She’s over 50 and it was stress related. She just fell apart starting with a cold then bronchitis then skin rash and down down down……..Stress was first……..
I had my hair fall out in spots from stress in the past. It happens to animals too.
Eralyn: Yep, just turned six months nc from me.
FOR THE SIXTH TIME. Sixth time was the charm.
The stalking continued, however, until as recently
as two weeks ago. I have BANISHED ‘it’
from any way into my world except for at my front
door and that has happened recently. I didn’t even
open the door. ‘it’ went away. But, ‘it’ came back the
next day and I still didn’t open the door. “It” KNOWS
‘it’ is NOT welcome here and runs the risk of arrest.
I heard ‘it’ was asking around the neighborhood ‘where’
I was….hmm…they sure don’t like to listen; do they?
Even when it might just send them to prison the rest
of their life. THAT is how they are. Bravado until it
nips them in the butt, then they become whiners.
Thanks for saying I sound ‘strong’.
Some days I sure don’t feel like it.
This has been a long and treacherous
road for me. I have been in counseling
the past almost four years now and I
don’t see my stopping it anytime soon.
This “THING” and his ‘minions’ like intruding
into my life and it upsets me, even though I
try not to let it. I never respond and I will
NEVER respond to ‘it’, not ever again, as long
as I live. IT HAS BEEN WARNED.
Yes, stress-induced illness. Horrid.
After my heart attack, if I hadn’t of
gotten that dramarama away from
me, I would not be here this moment.
I am sorry you had such a bad and toxic reaction
to your x spath. It’s true. These kinds of situations
can put us in a complete physical breakdown unless
we watch what we eat; the amount of sleep we get;
etc. Please: I would caution everyone: keep up with
your own self in your eating, sleeping, etc. THIS LIFE
is for us too. If you are having a difficult time functioning,
as I know was the case for me, for a long time, please:
seek some help. THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO CARE.
If you are in a dangerous situation, keep records;
let all the people in your circle know. Alert the authorities.
Most of all, keep yourself safe and your children safe.
After 13 years of this, I have realized that these people
are not stable, in the least. On the outside, they may
appear quite charming and ‘together’ and ‘intelligent’,
etc., but on the inside, they are like a soon to erupt
volcano. KNOW WHEN THE TIME IS TO GET AWAY
FROM IT. Recognize that moment and run.
Thanks, Eralyn, for the ‘rebuild’ wishes: it’s coming…
slow but nonetheless, life does go on. With or without
spaths; hmm?
Thanks for the post.
Dupey
lovinglem,
First, I believe that one’s health is one’s own business… by that I mean freedom to choose what type of healthcare, etc. Also, I think we are all individuals and successful treatment is not one size fits all (just like some people get side effects from medication and others do not).
So I’ll tell you all of the things that I did. I don’t know which ones worked, or combination. And this has been a long, slow and steady process, not a quick fix.
1. I have researched (and continue to) everything I can about health. I have a sense of what is good to try and what won’t work for me. I am cautious but open to learning. I don’t necessarily believe that doctors know everything.
2. I had bad luck with doctors and then didn’t have health insurance and couldn’t afford to go, so I decided to learn on my own. It ended up working for me.
3. I examined my diet and decided to make some changes. I try to be as pure as possible but I am far from perfect. I drink distilled water, avoid processed foods, avoid restaurant foods, cook from scratch a lot more than I used to (not always possible), belong to an organic CSA so I have plenty of fresh veggies, and I stay away from sugar and anything artificial.
4. I stopped using commercial soaps and shampoos, lotions, deodorants, nail polish, makeup, toothpaste, etc. I was trying to be free of dangerous synthetic products. I had to do a lot of experimenting, but now I have learned how to make my own “safe” products.
5. I learned to use home remedies for mild things like scrapes, insect stings, colds and flu and no longer take medicines for those.
6. I prefer to get 9 hours of sleep at night if I can, but I usually can’t, so I at least try to get a solid 8 hours. This is a pain because I have to go to bed at 9:00 p.m. each night (it is past nine now, whoops! but it is the weekend…). Sleep is very important.
7. I get fresh air and sunshine every day, even if it is just for 30 minutes. I try to do a little sunbathing, at least my face. (vitamin D)
8. I take some vitamins, about 4 days a week.
9. I like to soak in the tub in the evening with some essential oil, like lavender or some others. I find it really relaxing and that’s when I can tune into my thoughts, reflect on the day, pray, give myself pep talks, or whatever. It is peaceful and relaxing.
10. I don’t watch TV, and I try not to listen to the radio very much. I do have music I listen to and I love to sing. I think the TV and radio (especially commercials) are kind of depressing. I think there is subliminal stuff in the ads. Speaking of which, I avoid magazines too because of the upsetting drug ads which try to get you thinking that you are sick.
11. I do just a little exercise — walking, a bit of weight lifting to help relieve upper back tension.
12. I do foot reflexology on myself.
13. I spend time each day meditating/praying/talking to God or whatever you might call it. Mostly I am expressing gratitude and asking for guidance or something like protection for me and my children, or health, or safety, or peace of mind and growing understanding and moving forward on my path.
14. I spend time with my kids, just hanging out and enjoying.
15. I spend time alone, doing stuff I like to do, that’s just for me.
16. I avoid unpleasant situations or people or tense and stressful things that I am able to gracefully avoid. And I try to go places which I find peaceful, uplifting, energizing.
So, basically I am trying to do MORE of the things which I think are going to help, and LESS of the things which I think are going to hinder. I’m always trying to move in a good direction, or if I catch myself heading in a bad direction, I try to stop and redirect, and maybe figure out what caused me to veer off my path.